They have disapeared

Two of my online friends have disapeared from my life. It takes me a while to get close to people. Trust issues. But I have let myself get close to both of them. We went through a lot together and we shared, supported, loved each other. Now I don't even know where they stand or what they are doing.

The last time I spoke to one of them she was suicidal. Is she dead or alive? We didn't argue or anything. We even finished our conversation with a hug saying we would talk to each other the next day. But she has disapeared, leaving no trace behind her.

The other one is completally ignoring me. Why? I don't know.

Both of them are not from this site. I met them before I was a member here. I love them so much and I'm so worried about them. Did I do or said anything wrong to them? I don't know. Was I too much a burden? Was I imposing myself too much? Were they tired of me? Is it my fault? So many questions without anwers.

I don't think I will let myself ever get close to someone again. Maybe it is me who is the problem. Maybe I am not a good friend. So many maybe.

I love them so much! But there is nothing I can do. I just wish they would tell me that they are ok even if they would say they hate me and don't want anything to do with me ever again. I just want to know if they are ok.

nightdream

((((((((((((((((((((nightdream)))))))))))))))))))) i can't believe you'd say too much or be too much of a burden for ANYONE, dear. maybe it's where they're at in their lives? i know when things are too much, i can disappear and leave ppls worried about me. sometimes i'm embarrassed or feel that they're tired of it and even when i'm feeling better, reluctant to get ahold of them because i'm afraid of anger or something.

i hope all is well with them. i think you're super

kd

(((((((((((((((((((((((ND)))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry your feeling like this. Please try not to blame yourself for this. You have been a good friend to these two. I do understand your point though. I hate when things are unresolved. Leaving so many open questions which lead to more speculation and turmoil for the one who has been left behind. Please know that you can not control other people or their actions. Sometimes people deal with things differently then you or I would. Maybe they rather run away from the issues rather then face them head on. But blaming yourself only hurts you. Remember, you havent done anything wrong. You were there for them, you were the good friend.
Still, I know how difficult this must be for you and I offer you hugs if you want them.

(((((((((((((((((((NIGHTDREAM))))))))))))))))))))

I'm so sorry you are going through this. It is hard for some with trust issues to be left in the lurch-- I hope you hear something from your friends soon.

Odd you would say how one of them was suicidal, I had a similar thing happen to me in February. I didn't know if my e-pal was alive or not-- the last I heard from her she told me she thought she was going to end it that evening. I didn't read that e-mail until the next morning... I wrote to her and didn't hear from her for many days. She later got out of the hospital and wrote me. It was very stressful not knowing though and now I"m having a hard time getting as close as I used to be with her.

Well, not sure what else to say except, there are people here that care, hope that gives you some comfort. t/c

Mandy

Don't take it personal, ND. It very seldom is. Besides, you're not the kind of person that would impose on anyone. You are very caring. I know from experience. Your complaints and hurts are legitimate and you're working at improving your life. What could be better than that? Can't think of anything.

Not knowing if your friend is dead or alive is yet another thing. The only thing you can do is pray for her and find peace in that, ok?

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{NightDream}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

It isn't you....you are sweet and kind and you are not pushy....i was thinking while reading the other posts that it could be that something happened, in their lives, they answer your last post immediately and now they're embarrassed to write.....make sense? i've done stuff like that. feel really stupid because i let something like this go on and on.......it is definitely not you.....xoxox pat