Had to stop trying to help someone

Having a hard time because for my own safety and hers. I slept with her boyfriend. He told me he was single. Actually he was a psychopath and did not know it. He ran off and now she is leaning on me for support because she has no other support which is bull because she has church and family but does not want to fess up to them that she has been dating a crack addicted, 2 time felon on parole living with her rent free for 8 months, took off with 3k of her money, and 4k of a student loan while quitting school. Now that he is gone i am glad, but now i have to stop helping her. She will not get help from anyone else. All she talks about is him and when i slept with him it closely resembled rape as far as gentleness goes. I cannot help her. The sex happened the weekend of my attempt. I do not know which one of these 2 are sicker but i do not ever want to see these people again. She has been begging me to help her but cannot stand either one of them. I just cut her out of my life. At least everyone here reaches out and gets help from groups of people. She wont even try. She may have lost a loser, but i almost lost my life that weekend and i do not care to relive it on a daily basis. Support anyone?

((((((NuckingFutz)))))))) ...You have to do what you have to do to keep yourself safe. I know any reminders of all of this will just hurt you more than you need. We all get mixed up with folks we regret getting mixed up with. This doesn't mean we have to pay for it for life! If she can't handle things, she can always get support elsewhere. An anonymous phoneline if she is too ashamed to talk to anyone IRL.

Please don't feel guilty for taking care of you through all this. Sorry that's all the advice I got tonight, hun, but my support is here always, ok?

You must take care of yourself first and foremost if you dont then you will be as bad as her at not seeking to protect and look after you.

That really makes no sense so have re wrote it but still dont.... I think my brain is shutting down.

I would just tell her that your not able to help her, and that she needs to get help from other sources.

Lost71 is right: We all get mixed up with people we regret getting mixed up with. You have to do what's best for you. She has other sources of support. Take care of yourself and feel better.

Thank you all for your strong support. I know i can do this. The first time she knocks on my door and i do not respond will be the hardest. I met with her yesterday to tell her it is best for her safety and mine not to have contact. She played the pity card, but that is not going to work anymore. She does not realize when her boyfriends money runs out he will be back and she is desperate enough to take him back. He loves to inflict emotional pain and i do not want to be around for that. The whole situation is just sick, sick, sick. She is going to have to learn to live with the bad choices she makes. I guess what would help would be to remember last time i tried to help her he waltzed in and had her off with him in less than ten minutes of listening to his charm and lies. These are all giant red flags. I told her to get some therapy but she will not so i will not be able to talk to her.

girl....you know how i stand on this issue as we have spoken about it off the thread...you need to look out for number one,and thats you. you need to get yourself well and on the right track before helping her out.you need anything,you know where to find me....hugs hugs and more hugs

futz, you're not responsible for her. she probably will get help once you are out of the picture or when she is finally ready. it sounds as if this whole situation really threw you for a loop and i don't think continuing contact with them is healthy for you at all. you can't help others when you are depleted yourself so take care of yourself, okay?

Got it...no contact! Have to go erase that voicemail she left without listening to it.

((((((((((((((((((((nuckingfutz)))))))))))))))

((((((((NuckingFutz)))))))) ...stay strong, friend!

Staying strong. Still maintaining no contact with them.