life really does suck

I just hate my life everyday. I think it cant get any aorse yet it does. I basically wake up crying and go to bed crying. I cant help anyone and the people who mean the most to me I feel slip away. Why am I not good enough?

Oh, Feelingsad, I really am hurting for you. I used to constantly feel like I wasn't enough. I can truly identify with that. If you are going to bed crying and waking up crying, I would very much like to see you go to see a professional to be evaluated. If you already have a pdoc, you should see about getting your medications adjusted. You don't have to be feeling this badly all the time. You definitely sound very depressed.

Life doesn't have to be this miserable. It feels funny for me to say this to you because when I was deep in the abyss of depression like you are now, I was alone, and crying all the time, and no one was there for me, and I was feeling like I would never be enough in life. I cried and cried. Then somehow, a "voice" (not a real voice) told me that life wasn't meant to be this difficult and painful. Somewhere in my heart, I remembered a promise that life was not supposed to be this horrible. So I held on until I found a better one. It did eventually come.

I am telling you, Feelingsad, that your life doesn't have to be this painful. You need to see a psychiatrist or psychologist and be evaluated and get some treatment for depression. Then, you can begin to work on those feelings of not being enough. I have learned where my feelings came from and that they were lies. I was always enough but I was taught that I wasn't.

I care about you, Feelingsad. Lots of people here care about you. Please get some help and keep us posted on how you are doing.

Thank you Vicki. Im not on meds but maybe they could help. I would never do anything to myself. i cant talk to a therapist cause i would have to tell them stuff and its betraying a friends trust. Also the guy who i used to be close with and semi involved with is dating someone else . Which is so hard on my heart!

Feelingsad

{{{Feelingsad}}}

You need to keep telling yourself you ARE worth it! I know in your current state of mind it is hard to believe, but you ARE!

I've always been of the opinion that life gives back what you put into it. As a child, I became rebellious because the adults in my life were not giving me what was their responsibility to give me. I learned coping mechanisms but they were those of a child. As I grew up, I realized that they weren't working for me, so I changed them. They still weren't the best, so when I finally went to therapy, I was taught good coping mechanisms. Still, some work and some don't but that's the way it's supposed to be. Example: you can ask for what you need but that doesn't mean others are willing to give that to you. Then I learned that I can only depend on ME and on my Higher Power. If I ask for something I need and don't get it, then I do what I can to get it myself. That way, there is no one else left to blame. I keep trying to get what I need until I come close enough that I am satisfied.

Somehow, I acquired the gift of laughter and it helps me quite a bit. If nothing else, I try to keep a smile on my face even if I have to think of something funny... and wonder of wonders, I'm greeted with smiles from strangers. You'd be amazed how far those smiles go!

Like others have told you, you need a T to talk to. You can tell them anything and it is the T that needs to keep your confidentiality. If you aren't being treated right, the other person has already violated the unspoken promises between friends.

After reading this post I see you and I have very similar experiences and philosophies!

Thanx everyone for the support. Appreciate it. Sept Morn what do you mean by if not treated right. its violation of friends trust. i cant go to a therapist. i think there great but would be wasting their money.by not talking.