[jacq10]

just called me and informed me that she was now "kind of hanging out" with this guy X again.

Oh oh by the way, X is the guy that she cheated on my Dad with.

What, does she want me to congratulate her or something?

****.

[sabby]

(((((((((((((( jacq ))))))))))))))))

I'm sorry you are upset by this. I can certainly understand why. Are your mom and dad separated/divorced or are they still together?

I can't imagine why she would phone you to tell you this unless she was looking for one of two things from you.....either she wants your approval or she wants you to talk her out of it. Hard to say which one it is.

I can also imagine how hard it must be for you but please remember that these issues are your parents issues, not yours. People are going to do what they are going to do and we can't control them. We can let them know if we think they are making a mistake or doing things right. But to argue about it only makes things more difficult in the long run and creates more hard feelings. When we love our parents, it's very difficult to sit back and watch them make mistakes and at times make the same mistakes over and over again. Very much like what parents go through watching their children grow up and make mistakes as well.

Well, I'm rambling on here.....I guess what I'm really trying to say is that I hope you feel better about this situation soon. Hang in there (((((((( jacq ))))))))))

[salukigirl]

I'm sorry you're going through this. I know what you're going through. My dad cheated on my step-mom (after being together for over 10 years) with this woman and now THEYRE MARRIED. I didn't go to their wedding and I barely acknowledge her when she's around. Also, she was cheating on her husband with my dad so it was definitely messed up.

I totally understand how you could hate him right now. But I think it's misplaced anger. My T helped me work through it and helped me realize that i wasn't really mad at her, I was mad at my dad for being such an ***. But I need that relationship with my dad so I put my anger on her. Granted, even after I got to know her she was still a total *****, but I finally got over putting my anger with him onto her. I hated feeling like I have been cheated on and the one guy I should be able to look up to is just like the rest of them.

I hope you feel better and feel free to PM me.

[jacq10]

((((((((Sabby)))))))))
Thanks for your kind words.... and yes, my parents are separated. Have been now for about four years. Also, I don't believe she necessarily called me to tell me that (she also was ragging on my dad...), but it came up. It was very much like her... quite passive-aggressive and non-chalent. It just frustrates me because her and I had a huge fight over this issue 4 years ago, and now she's bringing it up like it never happened. Though I guess that has been a trend in our relationship... ugh. Sorry, I'm side-tracked atm.
Thanks again for the hugs. Very much needed/appreciated

[jacq10]

(((((((salukigirl)))))))))

Wow your situation sounds tricky too I just don't understand how people can justify cheating when it is more than them invested in the relationship.

As for the projecting anger bit.. truthfully, I'm way more angry with her than him. Not because I don't think he did any wrong (clearly he did if he helped a married woman be unfaithful to her husband), but because a) he really means nothing to me, and b) because my mom has a history of doing things like this... our relationship was long lost since this happened in the first place.

's to you

[salukigirl]

I'm sorry she is doing this to you. I HATE it when my parents rag on each other. My dad talking about my mom or vise versa is one thing but when my dad's new wife starts talking about my mom I want to punch her. And my parents have been separated for 15 years! And they still can barely be in the same room together! Oh well.

Well I hope things go okay with you guys. I know that when this all happened with my dad I just cut off all contact. He had me move out before I graduated high school so he could go move in with his girlfriend an hour away. So I was 17 living on my own going to high school lol. So I just decided that relationship was too much for me to handle so I flat out stopped talking to him. I didn't see him from probably May 2005 until March 2006. And the only reason I saw him then was because my niece was born. I didn't even see him on Christmas or Thanksgiving. Sounds like maybe you just need to take a break from her. You need to focus on how to make yourself happy. She obviously is not too concerned with how this makes you feel so take some time for yourself. You don't deserve that and you deserve to listen to your mother talk badly about your father.

[jerrymichele]

You know a lot of parents have a history of doing this thing with telling the kids everything. And a lot of them always bad mouths the other parent. I know these feelings all to well. My mother passed when I was just 15, and my dad and his wife at the time still continued to inform me about my mom. My mom also did it. I would just tell anyone out there who is going threw this that you don't want or need to here about their issues. If my parents were still alive I would tell them this. So, next time your mom talks about X, just tell her that I'm really not interested. Hope this helps.