I hate

my relationship right now with my bf. Why do men always twist so many things into something that it's not? I hate being ripped on for something that I didn't even do.

Michele

Sorry about whatever your boyfriend did. As a man, I too do not care to be ripped for something I did not do.

Everytime my bf gets mad about something he blames me.

I am sorry to hear that.
However, I am glad to read in your last response that you don't blame ALL man for this behavior anymore

I don't think it's gender specific, but we hurt the ones we love the most. I don't know why we do it, it makes no sense. We should be at least as kind to our loved ones as strangers, but I'm guilty of this myself.

I'm very sorry that you're having a rough time right now and I hope he gets his act together before it's too late.

When couples are under alot of stress, it's common to strike out against the ones we love. You also need to figure out what kind of communication style do you both have. Is he the kind of person who bottles things up and then one day blows up at the slightest thing? You're left wondering "why did he get so mad over THAT". Then there's the kitchen sink arguers, start out with one problem, then load every other thing known to man and then it seems insurmountable. The holidays are here and usually problems become magnified. I think you're both hurting at the moment, so you both need to calm down and figure out what are the main problems. I hope things improve for you both.

Friends, yesterday he actually talked to me in a very calm voice. He seemed happy. Well, that didn't last to long, he went to work and came home, and he wouldn't say anything to me. He was upset again. Lynn he does a little bit of both. As far as for me, I don't argue to much with him. When I do I say what I need to say, and when he starts really ragging I simply walk away. When he figures out that I'm not going to argue with him, he will start calming down. It's really hard telling whats going on inside him. He won't talk to me, not unless he needs to blame me for something. AAAAA your right some of us take it out on the ones we love. And John sorry, I need to rephrase to some men. I know not all men do this.

Seems to me, we "hurt the one's we love" could be of a number of reasons, few are actually intentional, though.

Convenience, is one. Although unintentional, our partner, or other close loved one, (residing in home), are the convenient source of receiving one's frustrations?

Whether intentional, or not, because of the emotional bond, we are more sensitive/receptive TO the actions of those we love?

What becomes familiar to us instills a regulated pattern that we oftentimes overlook without even realizing it. Those we live with are very much of that pattern, thus becoming merged into what is overlooked, or taken for granted.

Some do have the tendency to deliberately take advantage of the loved one's emotions to work in their favor, which is wrong, but sometimes very much a reality. And it's those behaviors which seem to hurt most.

We all know you don't mean ALL men, Michele. You've clarified. It's all good.

Just my cents worth....lol.

Shangrala