[A_Long_ways]

I guess this is the right place to post this. I broke up with my girlfriend about 2 months ago and I can't stop thinking about her. No matter where I go or what I'm doing, I always find something that makes me think about her. I was in NYC today, and was reminded at least 8 times of her by just going to certain places. I want nothing more than to call her and try to repair things after a day like today but I know that's not possible. I do still love her, and probably always will, but how the hell can I start to forget about her :/

[Psyched]

It's only been two months- the heart takes a long time to heal. It might even take years. But if you broke up, then it wasn't meant to be. You will always have the fond memories & the lessons you've learned from the relationship. Be grateful for that. In time, you'll find the right woman.
Best.

[A_Long_ways]

No I mean I really think it's getting obsessive. First thing I think of when I wake up is her, if I check my facebook/myspace, I always make sure I check hers too. I went to a restaurant, a bar, a movie theater, walked by the majestic, and just a certain street in the city and all bummed me out to hell since they gave me sharp memories of her. I don't know what to do anymore, I tried to go to the city today to get my mind off her and all of this but all it did was reinforce it. Sitting here staring at my phone thinking one call won't hurt... Bleh I dunno.

[Psyched]

I take it that she is the one who ended the relationship. If that's true, why? Does she need space? Want to see another guy? I, personally, have done the same thing after break-ups & I know a lot of other people do, too, so I don't think it's abnormal or that you're obsessed- you're grieving. Idk how long you were together, but it's difficult to be alone after you've been w/ someone for a while. It's going to take some getting used to. Give yourself a break- two months is nothing! If she broke up w/ you, I wouldn't call her. Give her time to figure things out. If she comes back to you, then it was meant to be, but if not, it never was. Sorry, I know it hurts- I've been there. But give it time. You'll be okay. This is so normal. Sending hugs.

[lynn P.]

Psyched is right - it's very normal to go through a grieving process. There's no doubt it's very painful but it's a process you have to go through in order to heal. Do you have closure and understand why the relationship ended? Sometimes when a person doesn't have adequate closure, they're left hanging and looking for answers or longing for a reconciliation. Instead of feeling distressed by your thoughts of her - how about just accepting, this is a normal process. It's not like love is like a light switch, that can be switched on and off. You could also try setting aside a specific time of day, where you will think of her and then go on with the rest of your day. It may be easier, if you think this was just meant to be and one day you may find another special person. Best of luck.

[marjan]

Don't worry, eventually you will give up to think about her....you will wake up one day and boom not thinking about her and not even realizing it....but this may take some time!
I was exactly like you....after the break up...for so long I was thinking about him all the time, the first thing in the morning...and it was like he was with me in my brain and can't get rid of him....and being obsess about his facebook stuff...arggg....he put on facebook that he's in a relationship with the girl that he just started dating....how awful it was?
But finally, I found a solution....I deleted him from my facebook and all his friends off from my facebook....then I deleted his phone number from my cell phone....then I deleted his contact from my gmail to not see him if he's online....all these needed lots of courage....and besides I stop going to the dance class that he goes and I love that class...my teacher called me several times, but I know what is good for me....I can't face him....and I stop going to the places that I know he's there....then whenever he came to my mind, I forced myself to pray and concentrate on my praying words....unbelievable, I managed to reduce thinking about him and now I'm kinda okay....not care about him and not even want to go back....also, I went for couple of dates out with guys....so, now I figured out that there are other people out there....and I'm hopeful
stay strong and you can do it but give yourself some time....

with love
Marjan

[SilverNeurotic]

When my boyfriend broke up with me (we got back together, so there is hope!), every little thing reminded me of him. A song on the radio, a tv show, an incoming text during work (he'd always text me throughout the day to see how I was doing). I would have to drive down the road he lived off for work and everytime I'd slow down and peer down the street to see if he was walking or something. One time I almost freaked out at the mall because I happened to see someone that vaguely reminded me of him and he was with a girl. It wasn't him but I started obsessing over what would happen if I ran into him one day and he was with someone else. It was bad. But eventually you will move on or one of you will have a change of heart.

[A_Long_ways]

Sorry for not replying, I have been trying to deal with this and it seems like when I log on here all of the emotions come flooding back. So I guess I was trying to keep my distance until I felt strong enough to reply. I believe you're correct in your assessment of lack of closure. I am still somewhat confused over why we split up. I want to call her and try to understand it but I fear a few things. First off, I fear she just flat out won't pick up. Secondly I'm worried if she does I'll break my "tough" image and try to convince her to come back with me. Third, I'm scared she'll say something that will just destroy me, like she was cheating on me, or realized what a loser I was, or something. I'm wrestling with my mind over calling her or not. I feel like if I do it may help me avoid whatever happened in the future, but like I said before could have other consequences. If I don't I may avoid an immediate problem, but not have that understanding of what went wrong and it will eat at me forever. I dunno, I've done a lot of thinking and I somewhat believe that I was subconciously turning away from the relationship. Like, she would say something I would agree with, but verbally I would disagree with her. Later on I would think to myself "if you agreed with her, why start a fight over it?". Maybe I ended the relationship subconciously with my actions, there were some things she did that really pissed me off in the recent weeks before our break up. I dunno, hard to wrap my mind around. Thanks for your replies guys, they help.

[Psyched]

(((ALS)))

You are way too emotionally raw to call her right now, so I strongly suggest that you wait. I don't blame you for needing closure, but she will still be around in six months or a year. And if she is upset by maybe passive-aggressive reactions you may have had towards her b/c she pissed you off, she will have cooled down & will be more rational by then. I'm no expert on relationships, but sometimes it's easier to see things objectively rather than subjectively. I hope you're okay. Please try to concentrate on doing things to distract your mind. Time heals all wounds.