[dayley]

...following on from my previous post (titled: Please dont hate but...) we've had our long chat and he flirted and I went all weak at the knees!!!
I have listened to all of your advice and I agree with each and every one of you and that is the problem but the thing is married or not I am just sooo in love with this guy. He makes me laugh, knows what to say and not to say, understands my past, sex is great and I just love being with him. I asked him a load of questions like does he ever plan on leaving his wife to be with me and he said he had to think of me in all of that too and yes one day he will but not yet because he needs to get the timing right and make sure she doesnt think I am involved so that she doesnt have a come back on me. He is also thinking about his pregnant daughter and doesnt want to cause her any unnessesary stress which I can understand.... only problem is I have just found out that I am pregnant too with his baby. We discussed termination but neither of us can do that so we're looking now at adoption - who knows? I cant bring the baby up alone or like the situation we're in and he wants to end his marriage with his wife thinking it has just not worked rather than her thinking there is somebody else involved... well if we keep the baby together she will KNOW there is somebody else involved wont she...

... he says he loves me and I believe him thing is I know he loves his wife too

[LMo]

Wow. That's quite a load. Good luck with all of that.

[jmo531]

((((((((((((((((((((Day)))))))))))))))))))))

I am so sorry your going through all of this. I know that your mind must be going in 1000 different ways. Despite your relationship with a married man, it is now past the point of just "you and him". There is a baby involved now. You need to make the decision that is right for YOU.
I dont really have any advice to offer you as far as how to proceed with him but I want you to know that I am here for you. Take care. Much love to ya.

beware of the word "timing".....you'll come to hate it.

you have to think of the life for the baby. it's not just you and him and love and laughter now.......good luck, pat

[nothemama8]

Dearheart, once you feel that wonderful little life growing you may not be able to "throw the baby out with the bath water", you will get tired of having to sneak around, she may already know, this is not a game but he is a player
Please be careful
Angie

[bebop]

well it sure seems a mess. I would not give up my child for him or anyone. He helped make the baby and he should own up to his responsibility. I would not care what his wife thought. He should have thought about this before he had an affair. And with him saying the timing has to be right. Most married men say that stuff. Good luck to you. Please though don't abort. Think of the child and couples that can't have children would love to adopt! Good luck hon

[LMo]

This isn't a direct example, but when my first husband and I got engaged, on Christmas, he was dragging his feet about calling his parents to tell them (they live in Italy). When he finally did call, he didn't say anything about our engagement, because, he said, his sister also announced her engagement that day and he didn't want to take away her attention. Huh? Well, the "timing wasn't right" and "timing wasn't right" and "timing wasn't right" for 6 months until eventually I told his sister and she told their parents. They were overjoyed. However, he dragged his feet for the next 3 years about getting married, and then ended up divorcing me a month after our 1 year anniversary.

That's my story about believing that "the timing isn't right".

[MacD]

I still don't hate you or anyone for that matter, dayley, but I am just a bit irked that in all of this love, some pregnancy prevention wasn't exercised....or perhaps wasn't exercised aggressively enough. It's one thing when actions and choices only affect those who make them....but quite another when an innocent life is the result. I only hope that both of you will consider carefully the future of this baby.....take care

hi........i noticed that LMo had a true story about "timing".....i'd be so surprised if the "timing" ever gets right, with this man. there are many, many couples who want to adopt a baby, please consider that...do not let him make the decision. he's not going to be there, make a decision for what is best for the baby (FIRST) and you........and use birth control.

none of us hate you, we're just being realistic and trying to help you see what is down the road, most likely, for you and this man. AND don't HATE his wife. that's ********. it's all about him....xoxo pat

[jmo531]

If anyone is innocent in this matter, it is this child. There are many, many couples who can not have children of their own so adoption is a great option. I'm sorry. I am not judging. Just my opinion. Take care. Much love.

JEN