not sure how to title this

I wish he would have read the bipolar book. Understand I am not crazy. I just need love communication and support. I'm so confused by it all. I mean I thought he loved me and would be there. He said so. Then he wasn't nice was ignoring and avoiding when I was in a depression. He said hed talk to me if it was my real self not the alternate personalit. The night before we had conversation I tried to explain that my altered thoughts were from bipolar. Talking helped gain perspective. Next day he said hed only talk if it was not my alternate personality. Is the other personality gone. I said I'd think clear from now on. It was ok for a day then it all started again. Not speaking to me. I tried to communicate. It didn't work I couldn't take it anymore. I broke it off. Then regret and try to take back nothing nothing not for a week then a sorry for treating you bad. Better friends than nothing. Then the same after a day. Not speaking. Not wantong to work it out. Me trying. Then all of sudden he has girlfriend but this was after he said he didn't. So I try some more and he responds with no more leave me alone I'm with someone and happy but he had just accepted my friend request where we met. I ask why what e wants from me. Nothing he said and then said my other personality. I don't have another personality I am not crazy not crazy. What if I am what if it was all me but I didn't think so. I thought he said friends and then he ddnt even want that after I try to talk as friends. I'm still a little confused. How do you go from loving so much or saying you do to being so happy with someone else almost overnight. He said he couldn't get over me that fast but then there he was in a couple. Not wanting me around. I'll never understand completely what happened. I really don't understand why. Is it really me bcz he thinks I'm crazy or is is bcz it like what he said that o deserve better than him. I feel I need to know which one for sure. Because if its the bipolar then I don't know. I can't change that. I will always be that. It is not another personality its not. I'm not crazy. But why am I questioning this. Why won't it stop eating away. Ok I just had to speak about it somewhere. Get it out of my head to say it outloud to someone that may listen may understand.

(((Bridgie))) - I understand how you feel in relation to being friends after being a couple. I'm not bipolar but my brother (since passed) was manic depressive, so I have experience as an observer of a loved one with mental illness.

My story is a long one, so I won't get into it - but I was devastated in a major way by my husband. It is possible to be friends after being lovers but it's a gradual process. Not everyone can do it and it can't be forced. It's a process of going through all the emotions and healing before you can reach a point where you're friends. I still live with my husband for financial reasons/kids but we've reached a point where we're civil and friends. This didn't happen overnight and there were a lot of emotions that needed to be worked through.

I'm very sorry you're hurting and are suffering broken promises. It's also difficult for loved ones who have loved ones with mental illness. You said he promised to understand but didn't follow through - I know this must hurt but not everyone is strong enough to handle the challenges of dealing with MI.

You also wonder, how could he move on so fast. I don't think men(not all) know as much about baggage and rebound relationships as we do. They just feel lonely and need physical comfort. Naturally we wonder, does that mean he never really loved me? How could he move on so fast? The chances are your ex and this woman might not last long because he probably has unresolved issues. Relationships are hard even if both people are stable so I understand it must be very challenging for someone with mental illness. All you can do is recognize what triggers you emotionally. I hope everything works out for you. Don't let yourself get down about this.

Hello, bridgie. Sometimes the hardest part is realizing at some point you are better off without him.

Hi bridgie

New relationships are always easy because everyone is on their best behavior, trying to impress each other in every way. There is no baggage, no ups and downs together, no testing of love or commitment. Naturally, he's happy.

It sounds to me as if he still cares and would be there for you in case of a real life crisis/emergency if you had no one else - maybe, depending on how his new girlfriend feels about him "loving" his ex. Some girls don't like their men to be at the beck and call of their former lovers - it can make them jealous of the relationship.

It also sounds like he only wants to speak with you when you can be "perky," - never asking for a shoulder to lean on, never mentioning old wounds, never talking about a bad day. He only wants to hear about your good days and how you've moved on in life - so he no longer has to worry about any interruptions with his new love.

Women are like that too. When they find a new man who can provide them with everything they want and need in a relationship, it becomes VERY difficult when her ex-lover keeps hanging around - peeking in the windows and crying outside. It can make her new lover angry....at both of them.

I get along very well with my ex-husband. However, out of respect for his wife I would never ask him to "be there for me." The exception was when our son was dying (he survived). His wife had no problem with him hopping on a plane to be by his side. She knew he wasn't doing this for me, and she knew we wouldn't be spending any "quiet time" together.

My husband had no problem sharing our son with my ex-husband. We worked out a schedule. My husband was with our son on a daily basis too - but when his biological father was on his way, he politely got out of the way so the two of them could have their time together. I was there too - but only with my husband when my ex wasn't there - they didn't need me there at that time.

You all have such wonderful insight. I'm glad to have such replies. Half the time I don feel as though I'm better off. I couldn't live with no support from a partner. I think part of the reason I'm having trouble is now I don't know what exactly to do with myself. I keep going back to the same old things and that's stuff we did together. Readjusting lifeastyles is difficult. Change is a trigger for me. Whether it be good or bad change. I know I've held on a little long. Or so it seems its only been a cpl weeks that it was truly over. I'm trying to find things for me to do that make me happy. Its hard to do when you are depressed. I did have a short manic period. It was strange. I feel as if I'm on the verge of normallcy and then back I slip. Thank you again for for your responses. Acknowledgment is a big thing. Thank you