I feel alone

I need some emotional support.

In the last 6 months, I've been seeing doctors, endocrinologists, gynos, and radiologists! I have a lump in my breast, and am going through a lot of diagnostic testing, so far no one knows what it is yet. My next step is to see a breast surgeon. His office is at the breast cancer clinic. The words "cancer clinic" and "surgeon" is scaring me, I am afraid of what he will say. I am afraid of surgery.

And on top of that, I have just been diagnosed with PCOS, because I can't seem to get pregnant. I have been through numerous tests for that, and am not done with the infertility problem. I have started medication to relieve some of my PCOS symptoms. The meds make me physically ill. I can't wait until I get adjusted to the meds.

I'm only 28.

The other night, I was crying a lot. My husband asked what was wrong. So, I told him that I feel alone, and am VERY tired! That I am incredibly stressed out. Mainly because of my undiagnosed breast lump in addition to my new job that I hate! I can't go back to my old job, because I am the main income earner, we cannot afford it. I feel like I have too much on my shoulders. I am the organizer of the household, who plans EVERYTHING! I asked him if her understood what I am going through, and his answer was that I don't understand what HE is going through! Of course I understand what he feels (I cared for my mother when she was dying of cancer 9 years ago), but he doesn't know that I am not telling him everything of what the doctors are telling me. I don't think he can handle the truth. I told him that they screened out cancer - it hasn't been. It feels like he's trying to compete with me, that his pain and stress is more important than mine, and I should quit whinning.

I explained to him that I need his support emotionally and around the house. He was very offended and told me if I don't like the way he is, them I should leave! I am very upset, and don't know what to do. He hasn't spoken to me since then, and doesn't sleep in the bed. I have appologized to him (which I don't think I should have too, but did anyways). But, he still is pissed off!

I need help, am I being to needy?

((Notsohot)) - welcome to PC and I'm sorry you're struggling and feeling alone. I'm also Canadian and you'll find alot of support here. I understand how scary it is, when you find a lump in your breast. I had a breast biopsy done 4yrs again and luckily it was benign. It's natural when we find a lump to feel scared and think it must be breast cancer. We imagine the worst.

One thing I've learned in life is not too worry prematurely. I'm not trying to negate your situation at all, just trying to reassure you. I think the 1st thing the surgeon will do, is take a biopsy. I didn't have the standard needle biopsy - my hospital had a newer technique, called a 'mamotone' - where they aspirate the lump and send it to the lab. I pray that's all they'll need to do and it will be benign. What kind of cancer did your mom have? So sorry for your loss.

I agree your husband should be more sensitive to how you're feeling. I think you should tell him all your fears. I understand him telling you to leave was very wrong. It sounds like there's stress coming from all angles. Do you think he would be willing to sit and talk? I don't think you're being too needy.

I found this website for PCOS:
http://pcos.insulitelabs.com/?campai...FRnW5wodcDvVOg

I am so sorry you are going through this. Your husband seems as if he isn't understand the situation very well. Try and keep positive thoughts about your breast lump. Try to not think the worst until you find out what all is really going on. It is certainly scary, but don't let it get you down. I'll pray for you...OK? I know it's rough to feel like you don't have the support of your husband....I didn't either, so I understand. Blessings to you!

My heart is with you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.....

Yesterday I was out with my friends....one of my girlfriends told me that she had a lump in her breast when she was in her late 20s and they removed it and she's fine....it wasn't a cancer, but they screen her very often....

Nothing has happened and you should not stress yourself for something that has not been happened yet....just try to breath and relax....

I don't know what to say about your husband....guys are always dealing with situations differently....try to concentrate on yourself and on your health....you need to stay strong....

I do have HPV and that can cause me cervical cancer....I'm so afraid always when I go for pap test...I just have had one recently.....

there is always hope....try to exercise and not think too much about it....watching comedy movies will help your mood too....

again my heart is with you....you are not alone....don't worry about baby stuff....you have lots of time to make them

just keep in your mind that not all of the lumps are cancer....plus, science is in a level that we can trust it and lots of people survived from bad lumps....stay strong...I'm sure you will be fine....

with love
Marjan

I am really sorry for the medical things you have to deal with.

I think you should tell your husband all the problems you are dealing with. You could be surprised: he might be more supporting than you expect. Why don't you give him that opportunity?

Take care,
John

Omg you are so young... i am sorry to hear all your troubles. I think you should talk to your husband and tell him all... he might be able to understand and if not just hang around people you kn will be supportive... you need to focus on yourself and stay positive... My mother in law found a lump on her breast 15 yrs ago, the breast affected had to be removed but she has been in great health since... about the baby, we have a friend who both her and the husband wanted children so bad back early on their marriage they both were the only child in their family but they weren't able to conceive, so after 10 years they decided to adapt and when they did everything changed, she adapt a couple from Russia and soon after she got pregnant and the following year another, and now they are raising 4 so really happy...
mom always said things happen for a reason... i will pray for you... if i may suggest take this wknd and go to a spa and relax, have a massage then catch a movie with a good friend (someone that boosts your energy).

everything will workout...
take care

I am disappointed in your husband's actions but simply will wish you good luck in getting things sorted.

Sorry you guys are going through this and hope the medical issue turns out well. It does seem that maybe couples counseling may be in order as you both have a lot of things going on in your life and communications is usually one of the first things to break down and when that happens, everything else gets a lot more difficult. If nothing else it will provide a forum where both of you can talk to each other.

A year and a bit later...

The lump turned out to be cancer stage 3, locally advanced. I've been off work since June 2010 doing chemo surgery radiation more chemo now I am done. How do I get my life back? I am preconsumed with cancer thoughts and flashbacks!