[Junerain]

i had a friend named mark, he invited me to stay with him and his family, i lived with him and his wife and kids, and we fell in love. he wasnt a very good parent and the kids started calling me their mommy, i had taked over the parenting. she found out and asked me to move out which i did, she knew how close i was with the kids but she said i could still see the kids. then she got a new boyfriend after her marriage disolved and i ended up stealing him for while. she forgave me after a while this time. today me and her kids went swimming with her new boyfriend jim and he started hitting on me too. i have seen him with the kids and that makes him all the more appealing. i dont want to hurt my relationship with the kids though the third time she may not forgive me. i have so many strong feelings now. he reminded me of the kids dad. i dont know what to do with hese strong feelings.

[misty]

I will be honest in what I think. You are hanging on to a life you wish you had. I do not understand the mother letting you hang around other than she is more than generouse. It is time you let the whole famdamily go. So what if it hurts you have caused enough pain by jumping into the middle the first time. I have had affairs and have been on the other side too. There is no good in it no matter what anyone thinks. There is always the luggage that goes along with it.

[seeker1950]

I agree with Sky...
Also, you are showing some lack of integrity by hitching onto another woman's man....more than once.
Seeker

having been in the shoes of the woman who's man you stole, i think you should break ties with the entire family now! this has the potential to hurt a lot of people and particulary those children. break the ties now and move on. i agree with seeker, it shows a lack of integrity. pat

[MacD]

it might be a wise move to ask yourself WHY you want ?used goods....men that are supposed to be in relationships...(but are hitting on you), can't be the best catches.....find someone who just wants you for you....quit going to the thrift shop......

[SeptemberMorn]

Just remember, if they cheat on your friend, they're going to cheat on you. Tigers don't change their stripes.

Like MacD said, why go to the thrift store and get something used up if you can get one of your very own?

Taking a man or two away from a friend is nothing to be proud of. Your friend obviously doesn't have good taste in men if she keep having relationships with "players."

[jmo531]

If you care about the children at all, my advice is, I would stay away from them. You are not these childrens mother. They have a mother. Why would you intentionaly hurt her by steeling her men? Ssteeling this womens ex husband and two of her boyfriends......Hmmmmm. If I were her, I would not let you anywhere near my children. Not a very good example. Thats just MHO.

[Eternal_Cat]

You don't seem to want to do the wrong thing again but in the end you might. You find this man attractive cos he is good with kids. How does this remind you of the first father when he wasn't even a good parent? And do you also find cheaters attractive? Also, have you sought his attention by flirting with him? I would leave this relationship too, particularly as it was Mark who was your friend, not his wife. If you fell in love with Mark, why aren't you with him? Sorry for all the questions, but I find your post confusing.

[Junerain]

I am sorry to say I was bragging. It was so strange it was happening for a third time. I will not stop seeing the kids though, they are everything to me. Just not show interest to John if he flirts again. I had so many feelings come up, mostly because of Mark. You ask why I am not with Mark, the friend who let me live with him, he rejected me. It was seeing a guy with the kids that reminded me of Mark, it was more about Mark than it was Jim. ( Or Johnnie.) It was like I had a family of my own when I lived there, the kids touched me soooooo deeply. Then to talk with Mark about how much we loved the kids was invigorating. No matter how many people write not to see the kids anymore, i will always, always see the kids.

[seeker1950]

You post is confusing to me re/all the different men, but my concern is for the children. I think it is selfish of you to insert yourself into their lives, and I can't figure out, for the life of me, why the mother still allows you around them!
The decent thing to do would be to remove yourself from them and any male family members in their presence.
Period.
Seeker

[Junerain]

The kids depend on me for love, the parents are under the eye of child protective they are so neglectful. The kids rely on me for food, clothing, shelter, they rely on me for it all. I am not turning my back on them. I have let Jim know I am not interested and that doesn't stop me from parenting the kids no one else will.

[(JD)]

(((june)))) If it is the children's decision and need and want of you, then surely this can be worked out in the way you are trying.. going forward. be sure to work on things in therapy, too, you , and the children...

[seeker1950]

I apologize, Junerain. I believe you are performing a loving service to the children under the circumstances you've described.
Seeker