[nomoretogive]

I have a hard time asking for this type of thing but I really need some affirmation right now. I am scared and feeling very unworthy. No dont worry not suicidal. I just cant figure out what I do so incorrectly in life that I am where I am. I have a good heart and I dont know why that is not good enough. About 6 months ago I was very closed off and my bf wanted me to trust him and open up. I did. Now he says I am too needy, have low self esteem and too sensitive. He started hot and heavy with "I love yous" and said he would wait for me to love him. When I have finally committed my heart to him, he is backing off.

I cant wrap my brain around this, he knew I was closed off due to relationship issues. I was safe behind my walls, now I am exposed and it is confusing to me. Why is this bothering me? Ah, it just punched me in the gut and I need to here I can make it. Thank you.

[nomoretogive]

Someone please delete this thread, now I am terribly embarassed for having asked and having noone reply. Thank you

(((((nomoretogive)))))--You are worth a great deal to all of us here on pc!!!--We all have these feelings, and worse.

You don't need a bf who devalues you when you are already in need of support.

You opened up here, I think that is most commendable!!!
Just wait, there will be many who will give you hugs---I send you my heartfelt hugs--
sooo sorry you hooked up with the wrong guy!!!-----hugs-----theo

With a "good heart" you will most certainly find some measure of happiness!!!

[purple_fins]

Oh, I'm sorry you are struggling

and I'm sorry it took a bit of time for replies.... waiting can be so so hard as the negative thoughts spin closer and closer to feeling real.(that's how it is for me anyway-- thought maybe it was for you too?)

hearts for you

fins

[eskielover]

I just saw your thread....not on here much lately.

Just a thought. Some guys who start off quickly with the 'I love you' stuff are there for the conquest. They like the challenge to get someone who isn't willing to open up easily & then when that person does, they have won what they are after in the relationship & aren't interested anymore.

I would hope this isn't the case with your BF, but it sure sounds like it. That has nothing to do with you. They are smooth & cunning & hard to recognize, except to stay leery of someone who quickly expresses their love.

I don't know you, but everyone is a valuable person & should not be treated with the disrespect that your BF has treated you. I don't think I would waste my time trying to wrap my brain around what he is doing to you & would just walk away with your pride in hand, knowing that you are a good person & weren't doing anything wrong by holding your heart close to you until you knew the BF better. Don't be pushed. I wonder if you hadn't been pushed by him if you would have really said you loved him when you did, or were there really things that you didn't feel comfortable with which was why you were holding back?

You deserve the right person...its obvious that this person isn't or he wouldn't treat you like this......move on & don't worry about it...it doesn't sound like it has anything to do with you, but the guy that wanted to conquer your heart & nothing else.

(((((nomoretogive)))))--I told you!!! We value you here!!!

Keep posting!-------------theo

[nomoretogive]

A quick background on my bf. We had dated briefly back in highschool (that was a few decades ago) and he recently separated from a 22 yr marriage. He was checking out friends on Facebook and we reconnected. He said that I was his first love of his life. I broke it off with him way back when because he said "I love you" and I wasnt ready as a 17 yo girl. I thought we had a unique bond this time around and it hurts most because I gave it all, heart and soul, believing this ONE person in the whole world wouldnt hurt me.

Hello, nomoretogive. Sometimes life is just hard. It certainly is not fair. Illogic is a frequent visitor.

Nonetheless, you are an important person. His cannot usurp your value. You will be grieving for awhile.

Love yourself.

[shezbut]

((nomoretogive))

I am sorry that your bf hurt you so deeply.

I can understand your perspective very well ~ your disappointment in allowing yourself to open up, only to be hurt for doing so!

I don't have any ideas to help the pain go away, unfortunately. I think that it will just take some time. For me, personally, self-acceptance is a HUGE piece of the pie in feeling better. Don't know if you battle low self-esteem emotions like these. Just wanted you to be prepared if that is the case. Working with a T could also help you through those tough emotions as well.

Gentle hugs to you Best wishes!

[nomoretogive]

Thank you all, I know that I can only count on ONE person and that is ME. This comes after a series of other demoralizing events and comments from "loved" ones. A guy told me I was a bully in highschool, my dad wont connect with me unless I deny my mother, my mother tells me I am afailure and my little sister states that I have traumatized her daughter because when she wouldnt stop screaming in the car, I matched her pitch. I didnt touch her just matched her scream so she could hear what I was hearing. And now this from my bf, I have felt like I have been in the Time Zone for going on a year now. I cant depend on other people, ultimately. I do appreciate all your support but, you are correct, I have to accept myself and nothing anyone says will help until then.

http://www.psychologytoday.com/print/1752

[QUEEN OF WANDS]

i know exactly how you feel nomoretogive.and i too can really only depend on myself,been that way my whole life...hope things get better

[Envision]

At the risk of being too simple, sounds like you need to leave some people in your life, and that includes some family. It's not a perfect world and life is hard. It's even harder when you allow negative people into your world who only drag you down. Your b/f issue is not unlike many others, we trust and sometimes we regret it based on how things work out. It wasn't a bad idea to trust if you felt he really deserved it, but now you feel the pain of putting yourself out there. Talk to him about how you feel, do what you can to improve yourself and do what makes you happy. If your b/f wants to stay for the ride and you want him to also, great, if he doesn't or you don't, you can love again and trust again.

Love yourself, nomoretogive.