[hillgal]

OK So I need some advice. Back in Feb. I looked up an ex but he was also my best friend it had been 20 years since I saw or talked to him. I am married and have been for the past 20 years. Our marriage is good we have our issues nothing major just normal ups and downs of marriage. Anyway I talked to my husband about finding my old friend and he was fine with it. Now when I went looking for him on the internet all I wanted was to see how he was etc. Nothing more. Anyway it was really easy to find him way too easy. Long story short. We started talking and he started telling me all this love lost stuff and how I was the one etc. We ended up having a short internet affair. UGH!!! We live in different states. He told me how much he loved me and always has etc. BTW he is married as well. Cant believe I did that. But my husband found out about how much we were talking to say the least he was really angry had every right to be. I never expected any of this to happen and now regret finding him but cant stop thinking about him or wanting to at least talk to him. I didnt realize that I was carrying all these feelings and emotions for him for so long. And now I am suck in this limbo and cant stop (I guess the word is Pining for him). And this is not fair to my husband. How can I love 2 men like that. And my ex has moved on and stopped all contact with me. How do I get my emotions under control and move on. and he was my first love.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello ((((hillgal))))

Welcome to PC. What a scary situation to be in. I honestly think what you may have here is a case of "overemotionitis". He's wound you up with all this stuff then simply and without a second thought moved on; what a guy!

What you have had is a slight reliving of your first love. None of us ever forget our first love and when a chance comes along to see how it would have turned out we generally jump in with both feet regardless of the consequences. Don't stress yourself or feel bad because it happens to so many people. And it does'nt make you a bad person, just a romantic. Romance however is "honeymoon period" stuff not every day stuff.

Look at your husband, look at the investment you two have in each other and in the future you built together. You knew when you married that it wasn't all going to be beer & skittles; that at some time there were going to be issues to face. This is one of them.

Well who is still with you? Your husband or the ex? The ex has turned tail and disappeared into the dust...albeit cyberdust...

There is always a reason that someone doesn't end up in our future, and if he had made it into yours, he would have been having an emotional affair on you and you would be feeling the way your husband is feeling right now; angry, sad, disillusioned and afraid. Not that you intended that to happen; I am pretty sure you just thought you were looking up an old friend. He started this and then ran...

You have lost nothing and have gained a husband who is still there and who loves you. If your marriage were in trouble you would have gone out and had a physical affair; your marriage isn't in trouble and you just need to refocus and see where the goodness is...don't look back...you have it all...

I really hope this works out well for both you and your husband

Rhiannon

[marjan]

sorry to say that, but it looks like you are opening up a can of worm....why do you do that? just cut it in the past....both of you are married....don't ruin your marriage for some illusions....he did that to you and he will do that again....he's not even faithful to his wife now....that's sad!

I would strongly advice you to stop your communication with him.....and stick with the loving husband that you have....

Do you have any kids?

[lynn P.]

I agree with the others and will just make this simple statement. The grass always seems greener in the forbidden zone.