Blast from Past

I am all upset from a phone call today, working to calm myself down. A guy I knew 25 some years ago suddenly out of the blue called me, we've not been in touch all this time, I had no desire to be. Maybe cause of fatigue and even shock, I found myself during phone call feeling as if I was back in those times, believing that everything he said was true, and that my truth isn't real.

25 years no contact, but he felt fully comfortable in the call telling me that I am not really sick (I am), that my diagnosis is not real (they are), that I need to just apply will power and get moving, that I should do certain jobs and make money and buy a house. Implied being that I am bad and lazy if I don't do all these things.

Our past relationship wasn't good. I was a teenager, traumatized by a really rough childhood, he was older than I and in charge.

This man in the phone call told me all about his life, didn't ask about mine other than to put me down, and believes that we now are friends and that I'll visit he and his wife. Stay at their house.

I found myself feeling defensive, needing to say "I'm doing the best I can." often.

Yuck. I felt a big ol' mood plummet after. Talked it through with a friend and realized that I feel slimed. Time to take back my own power. I am the expert on myself, on my experience, he doesn't know anything about me.

I'm disabled, not working, low income, don't own my own house. But I am still a good, worthy person. No matter what this guy thinks.

Sarah

Your right. You Know whats happening in your life. He has no right to tell you how you should live your life. You are worthy.

Sarah,
It triggers a lot of feelings to hear from someone from our past, even 25 years ago, especially if the exp. with them was painful. Your resentment at his attitudes in his communication is justified. Inviting you to come visit him and his wife??? What's that about?
Try to dismiss it and continue with your life. You are indeed worthy and valuable!
Seeker

dismiss that lout! what a creep. to call you after 25 years and criticize your life????? what planet has he been on? you're a wonderful person and you are in charge of your life. i've come to really appreciate your friendship and i hope it continues. i rely upon you, for good advice and feedback. dismiss that man from your mind and move ahead.......love, pat

he is not a friend if after 25 yrs he called and put you down..I would tell him to go where the sun don't shine and never ring my phone again.

Thanks everyone, you made my day. Now that I've gotten some sleep, some time has passed, some common sense has returned, and I've gotten friendly feedback, I can see indeed that the guy is being creepy and I need to keep that door firmly closed. I'll post a big sign that reads -Only Respect, Courtesy, and Support Allowed".

Sarah

woooooooooooooooooooooooooohooooooooooooooooooooooo for you!

Sarah,

You sound like you really are in charge of your life & your emotions.....glad you are not letting a creep back into your life....who needs someone like that even if they think they are being a friend to you....that's not being a friend AT ALL.

Glad you recognized the situation & are in control of who you let into your life.

I recognize your strength & you should be very proud of yourself,
Debbie