[Yoshi]

Why do relationships have to be so complicated?

I'm in a relationship, not for long as it seems. I see that my boyfriend is not happy with me.
Can I find one guy that actually likes me for me? Instead of my looks.
I really like this guy..He's funny, sweet and kind..But all of a sudden he wants to "do something" that i'm NOT readdy to do...He gets mad..

I told him that I like him, but I'm not ready, I cant, thats not me..But all of a sudden he says "Dont try to minipulate me, I dont like it, and then why dont you dump me then" ? I told him I cant dump him :/ I really like this guy. I told him that I like him, I dont want to dump him, and that I can see he's clearlly not happy with me, and he says he's not dumping me....If your not happy, why not leave?

I just dont get it anymore..I'm confused, lost, and I need someone to talk to, we havnt been dating long..and I feel like i've known him my whole life, and when I talk to him I feel better.

I know you have to go threw some to find that one, but why are the ones I really like always leaving me....

I dont know what to do, I need advice :/

[Perna]

You make it sound like you have been looking for years and years in the desert :-) I found my prince when I was 35. If you are not ready yet, then you're not ready yet. Think of the experiences you have been ready to try, the discussions you have had, etc. It takes time and lots of experience. If they're not right for you, you want them to leave; doesn't matter if you like them, they're not the one; I like candy but I know not to eat too much or I'll be sick/it's not good for me. That's what it boils down to, what's good for your future?

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((yoshi))))

Haven't seen you for a while yoshi, good to see you though the circumstances aren't that good.

Forget looks, looks mean nothing and will fade anyway. There must be something else there if they are always leaving you. And (tell me if I am wrong but from the terms of your post) that thing may be that you are not ready to escalate the relationship to a full physical one.

Yoshi I am SO PROUD OF YOU FOR THAT! Some girls give in thinking they will keep the guy and he dumps them anyway because he got what he wanted which was sex, not a relationship (Not all men are like this though). This guy seems to be the major manipulator not you. Imo He is trying to manipulate you for sex but doesn't want to be told no because you're not ready as he sees that as manipulation; he probably sees it as a way for you to keep him hanging on and that attitude is a very poor one, and it shows that he is not thinking of you at all, he is only thinking of himself and his needs.

The right one will come along and there will be no question of you waiting until you are ready or married whichever comes first, he will be happy that you are happy. I just think you deserve to be happy be respected and choose what is right for you hon and that should include you waiting until you are ready.

[poulet]

Sounds like a manipulative controlling jerk make him wait for 2 years if he sticks around he's good if not he just want's the goodies!

[REINE D AMOUR]

sorry yoshi but he shouldnt push like this ,and even if you love him dont let any one manipulate you

[turquoisesea]

Yoshi I'm agreeing with Rhiannon and Perna

For what its worth there ARE guys out there who like a person for who they are not just their looks. My boyfriend met me at a mutual friends birthday party. I was there with a friend. At the time he was in fact MORE attracted physically to her (he told me this later), but I was the one he followed home to get contact information, because of personality. He was also SO understanding about taking time for things. Even KISSING he was willing to go slow on.

So there ARE guys that respect those boundaries out there. and as a girlfriend you DESERVE that type of respect.

I'm proud of you for saying no. Don't give in to him. I'm sorry that you love him, and that in return he is not respecting you

One thing I've learned is that you ocan't change people, they can only change themselves. I would suggest taking some time. See him just a bit less so that you have some time to think for yourself. If you want to stay with him PLEASE be strong and don't give in to his manipulations

[steffi01]

hi Yoshi, this guy is a total looser n plz plz plz dump the dude. inside of all of us the is that feeling u get when things arent or are right. obviously yours is letting u know not to go far with this one n u acted on it. any guy who doesnt respect your needs doesnt respect u , hence he is not worth it. plz alwys listen to ur inner feeling and we r always here to help. remember luv does not hurt.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Originally Posted by poulet

Sounds like a manipulative controlling jerk make him wait for 2 years if he sticks around he's good if not he just want's the goodies!

Hello Beautiful Disaster (spring chicken) "Poulet"

I had wondered where you had gone. I just wanted to let you know how much I appreciated your post. Straight to the point and no punches pulled, or should I say pouled?

[Yoshi]

Thanks for the advice everyone, we broke up, and we are still friends. We were just to different from eachother, as I can see he needed the pyhsical to have a relationship, and i'm not looking for that right now. He told me he was sorry, he shouldnt have tried to force anything, but for some reason that night he really "wanted me"....., and being friends was fine, I'm just glad it didnt get in between are friendship, But I doubt the friendship with last, they never do.

Again thanks everyone

And yep its been a long time Rhiannon !!!

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Thats good news yoshi....some friendships stay good others as you say petre out and you may see them once in a few years or something. But you stayed true to yourself and that is what matters

[Yoshi]

Thanks Rhiannon and I will

[(JD)]

Thinking of you.

[turquoisesea]

*sends hugs*