[crystalbleach]

I have just split with my boyfriend/fiance (2 days ago) and I am sick of people judging.

All the people saying "I told you so" and "Why did you throw it away you two were great together"

You know what, no it wasn't my fault no one understand screw all.

They never knew he cheated and only thought with his ****, they never knew what he used to call me or how he treated me sexually and physically. Yes he was nice at times but they have no clue.

What kind of partner tells the girl he cheated with all about my scars and my past. Making out that I was some kind of psycho. Yeah i'm not the easiest but I am nothing like he said.

The day after we spilt up he is friends with that same girl again. You know what, I feel bad enough already without people digging the knife into my heart even further.

There has been one person that has understood and he has been incredible. Thank you Pete for being there for me, you have kept me from going insane.

I'm just not sure how much longer I keep my temper under control and stop myself from screaming at all those people.

*sighs* Sorry.

[lynn P.]

((crystalbleach)) - good for you in taking a stand and not tolerating disrespect. I'm so sorry for your pain. I've also been stabbed in the back emotionally speaking. Maybe you should tell your friends/family how you've been treated. You're a strong person for realizing you deserve better. It's okay to feel angry but don't neglect yourself, over this lowly person. Be good to yourself during this difficult time. Thank God he showed his true colors before you married him. What a loser.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Nikki,

*cuddles you uber tight*

You have done so well, Nikki; not only did you finally put your foot down and leave him, but you've not gone running back to him, and you should be proud of yourself. You're worth so much more than he ever gave you credit for, and you know I'm true to these words.

You're welcome, by the way. Thank you, for your support, too, it has been incredibly vital for my ever-questionable sanity.

I'm so proud of you, Wabbit; you're wicked.

*cuddles you some more*

Goshujin shinyuu,
Akuma
~x~

[crystalbleach]

I'm not even sure why I care about my family being this way, I guess I just hate people judging me when i'm not all to blame. I couldn't tell them because they would only judge more.

Thank you both. *cuddles Akuma, too*

[Rhiannonsmoon]

(((( (((( Nikki)))) ))))

People rarely know the ins and outs of others relationships and there will always be judgement from people who claim the right to torment you because they are family members or so called friends.

You know the truth and you know that this guy has taken your situation, your mental health issues and used them as a catalyst for his bad behaviour. So yes you are totally correct he is blaming you and he has played the "poor me" card. She will learn that it is his MO. The Modus Operandi rarely changes and he will be watching her for signs that she is doing it to him. It is the natural order, even though it is a sad order he will be suspicious of her cheating on him the way he cheated on you.

Stand up for yourself in dignity and be better than him, you have your friend Pete who obviously sees the truth in the situation and sees the good in you that your ex didn't; Pete is the kind of friend you need and deserve. The really great thing about all of this is that you have a genuine opportunity to begin healing now without the poor treatment holding you back. And if you can honestly see that his treatment of you contributed to your illness and your anguish, you tuly have already started to heal, because nothing is always the fault of one partner; he can say it is until the cows come home, it doesn't make it right or true.

Thinking of you and sending you hugs and support,

Rhiannon

[crystalbleach]

I DID IT!

I told him straight. I told him how I get flashbacks of me and him, sick stuff. I told him how he is being manipulative. Him saying he was going to kill himself and he knew what I would do, i'm not that heartless to leave him there and die. I told him how I changed for him and what he was doing was wrong.

I told him I could never get back with him even after him begging me and saying he would change, he would be different. I've heard it all before. I won't do it again.

I have taken everyones blame since the relationship ended, but I actually stood up for myself when it came to my ex.

Pete - You have been so incredible and got me through this. I got my strength from you. I will forever be thankful, you most likely saved my life because I couldn't have been in that relationship any longer.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

=D! Thank you, Wabbit.

It hurt too much to just sit and watch you get treated like shizz. But, you're all good now, 'n this is a start of something good; you standing on your own two feet/hands.

*cuddles the wonderful wicked Wabbit weally, weally tight*

Like I said "I'm proud of you." You've come such a long way, 'n you should be so proud of yourself, Nikki.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

All,

I just wanted to append this thread with a little update, on Nikki's behalf.

Nikki found the courage and resolve to finally leave her ex behind, even as a friend. She has grown so much stronger over the months and I'm very proud of her. I'm honoured to be part of her life.

Nikki can now start to experience true happiness. She can now experience real love, and hopefully from a guy who's actually worth her time, but most especially her heart.

A lot of the time, the most special people get treated like dirt; well, I'm going to enforce that she be treated like the gold she is easily worth.

Nikki is not the many negative things she believed she was; she is finally starting to see light. She is an amazing young woman who deserves far better than pathetic guys like her ex, who's ripe in cowardice and moronity.

Let me make this crystal clear to any girls who think it's "okay" it is not okay, and assuming you're not as bad as them, you do deserve to be treated with respect. The many stories I've been told, show me that a lot of males are complete tools, but don't lose hope, because there are guys out there who truly care, respect and appreciate a wonderful girl, like Nikki; I'm just one of them.

For you, Nikki.

Regards,
Pete

[crystalbleach]

Awwwwwwwww, man. You truley are incredible Pete and without you I could never have been even a fraction of the person I am now.

The exact same applies for you. Pete is a great guy who knows how to treat women. He shows kindness, love, support, gentleness and so much more. I never thought there were anyone like Pete. I had been treated very badly before he came along and just because I had been treated that way doesn't mean that's all I should know.

Pete himself is an extremely strong guy who has had his fair share of tools. If you are a guy who is being treated like dirt then don't put up with it. There are girls out there who will show you true love and kindness.

I am moving on from my ex now and I now know what true happiness and love is. Everyone do yourself a favour and be kind to yourself, you all deserve happiness.

Lots of love.
Nikki. xxx

[pegasus]

What a wonderful supportive thread! And so good to see that all turned out so positively!

I wish you the best ((((((((( crystalbleach )))))))))

And thank you ((((((( Akuma )))))))) for helping so much.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Very proud of you crystalbeach! Very happy that you have found strength and were able to say no to him, keep your head up because you deserve better and will get better,

Rhiannon

[crystalbleach]

Thanks everyone yet again. My ex messaged me last night for the first time since we had that huge argument and I told him to pee off.

Him re-appearing last night turned everything to s--t. I kept having flashbacks of things he did and what other's did, certain scars on my body made things worse. I felt awful for being horrible to him by saying bye and wanting nothing to do with him. I feel like a cold, heartless *****. I'm not saying I would ever go back to him or be friends with him cause I can't do that but...argh. I keep blaming myself and yes people sometimes do convince me otherwise but i'm fed up with always being the bad person.

I love someone now, yes I love Pete. Truley love him, the amount of feelings I have for him I didn't think was possible. He makes me incredibly happy but i'm scared to let him down. We have this connection that's incredible and I like the way things are going but I hate that my problems are still there. Last night for example, heaps of flashbacks and urges, the same urges I have today but a little stronger. The only time I am absoloutely happy is with Pete, well talking to him.

I'm fighting these urges alot because I don't want to let him down and let them win.

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Nikki,

Sorry I didn't reply sooner; the last time I read this, I was so tired and barely on the planet, but here I am, to reek Akuma havoc on this thread.

As I've likely said before: you've no reason to feel awful for telling him where he can f--k off to. DB mis-treated you (understatement) and there's no other way to look at it; with rationality. Do you think he feels awful for abusing you for all that time? All those times you need someone, and he put you through hell? All those times you need a kiss or a cuddle, and all he wanted was more; excessively? He can play the wounded soldier all he pleases, but I, personally, couldn't give a f--k; he f--ked up, not you, and it's that simple.

You feel like a cold heartless b---h? In what way or form were/are you a cold heartless b---h? Would a cold heartless b---h make me feel so understood, loved, appreciated, accepted, wanted, needed, hopeful, happy and crazy? No, is the answer. I've had the cold heartless b---h (or close enough to one) and believe me when I say, that I know what one of those are; you are not one of them.

You are not a bad person, and the idea is ludicrous; like the idea of the government being honest and fair.

I still have my own problems too, Nikki. I know you wouldn't actively (let alone maliciously) hurt me. I know that you're aware how you doing that to yourself would really, really hurt me and put me right off balance, as it would to you if I did. Point? We're in this boat together, so lets paddle together and I'm sure we'll get to a tropical island, eventually.

You'll be with me, soonish. 101 days.

I love you.

Your "dear" uh "dude", *smirks*
Pete
~xXx~

[thine_self_untrue]

Awww... *dies of sweetness* !!!

Nikki, I don't have the pleasure of knowing you, but I do know a little bit about a chap named Akuma, and I am so freakin happy for the both of you! I'm so glad that you've been able to leave you jerkface of an ex and I hope that you can enjoy the happiness you and Pete have with each other!!

What a lovely love story for two throughally lovely people.

*skips away leaving lots of spelling errors sure to irk Akuma behind*

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

*laughs* Yes, you did leave some corkers there, Thine.

Nikki is amazing; *rolls eyes and sighs* God, that's just ludicrously understated.

I'd say me 'n Nikki are already enjoying the happiness. But, I can't speak for Nikki, as she could be really miserable, for all I know. *smirks*

[crystalbleach]

Miserable? *almost dies of laughter* Ok and breathe. The truth is...I'm so sorry for telling everyone this, Pete but...you make me...the happiest I have ever been in my entire life.

You make me smile, laugh, feel not so totally worthless about myself. You give me hope and faith and I love how you are so smart. Ah, man you are making me laugh so much now even with being ill and wanting to kill a thing called maths, heh.

Basically I love this guy very much. He is everything to me and I truley have hope in us. My ex can go jump off a cliff for all I care, right now because I have Pete who has shown me what love really is.
*cuddles him uber tightly*

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

=D Aaaaah! AWESOME! =D I love you, Wabbit! *clings to Wabbit uber tight*