Any optimistic wife with a depressed husband out there?

My husband and I live in separate countries for the time being but are working on being physically together for good. He has had chronic depression but has been avoiding discussions about treatment, or so until we're physically together again.

Being depressed, my husband is sensitive of criticisms even if I butter them up with optimism and good intentions. Earlier today, I thought that we were finally going to have a respectful and positive outcome while ironing out our misunderstanding but he still ended up re-living all the tears that he's caused me even if I constantly tell him that I never count the mistakes we've made.

I love my husband so much, I really do. Sometimes, though, dealing with his depression drains me out emotionally and physically. How I wish I could have emotional stability and that his suicidal thoughts would go away. I miss my husband. I miss being able to talk to him about anything under the sun. I wish I could voice out my emotions and opinions to him without him getting oversensitive about it.

I don't want to give up even if he sometimes pushes me away, saying he doesn't make me happy anymore and just makes me cry all the time. I want to be strong because I love him.

I want to surround myself with people who understand what I'm going through and who believe that staying with my depressed husband doesn't mean I don't love myself anymore. Is there anyone out there like me? I'd be glad to hear from you...

Hi, acidwife, welcome to PsychCentral (PC)!

My husband isn't depressed but I'm sure you will find many people here in similar shoes to you; what I thought of reading your post was that maybe you could find some support treatment (someone to whom you can voice your emotions and opinions and better learn how and when to express yourself to your husband) where you are and be an "example" so maybe your husband would enter treatment sooner? If he sees you in treatment and you talk positively about it, maybe that will get him working on his own problems sooner?

Acid Wife I hear you, Im not married But care deeply for Someone Who doesnt mean to push away either.Sending you a Hug, I Feel like you too, That Staying doesnt mean you dont love you

Hi Perna and FeelingSad,

My words finally got through to my husband and he finally listened to me this morning. He was offended when he found out that I joined this forum, saying that I just led him on before by telling him that he's not crazy when in fact by joining in this forum it tells him that I think he's crazy. I'm just so glad that he calmed down after I repeatedly told him that I joined the forum because I wanted to surround myself with positive people who would tell me to hold on to our relationship. I am thankful because he still listens to me even if he's not yet on treatment.

@Perna: Thank you for your wonderful advice, I appreciate it. I really plan on going to a counselor so I would know how to handle my husband and my emotions. It's difficult to do that at the moment, but I promised myself I will. In fact, when my husband is calm we would promise each other that when we're together already, we would go and visit a doctor and undergo treatment together.

@FeelingSad: Thank you so much for the hug...sending a hug your way too. I'm glad someone echoes the same sentiments I have. Let's stay strong all the time. My motto: I will love my husband no matter what...

Acid Wife, Im sorry Just saw this post now! Yay!! So Glad you and your husband are working it out and You are staying together! I think its wonderful, I know the rd ahead will be filled with challenges but I believe in never giving up on the person you love and facing the tough times together, Please keep posting and keep us up to date on how its going, I think you guys will make it, Thank you for my hug back, appreciate it so much