why has to be this much difficult?

marjan, you should enjoy your life, love all your life as it is and when you get rid of your fixed idea to find a guy, you'll really meet him!

It's not as if I sit there with a checklist of the things a man has to have in order for me to "date" him. I believe in giving someone a chance, and no you're right Marjan, I do not want to just go out with anyone. There are a few things I won't tolerate from someone, for example, being stood up without even a phone call, talking "down to me" as if I'm not as smart as he may be, but those are not based on my "standards" like he has to have this or that kind of job, or drive a certain car, I'd figure those were more "standards". Just my opinion.

well...that's the case for me as well....I don't care how much money the guy has or which car has been driving.....but It's import to me him to be not lazy and be smart and have a good heart....yes, it's important to know if he's treating his family and friends and other people nicely with respect....also, does he care about working? I don't want to end up being a provider.....
I found out once you have these types of standards, then it's harder to find a date....however, that chemistry is important to me....otherwise, what's the point!

I'm happy with my life....I'm not depressed or sad at all...thank God....
there is no fixed idea of finding a guy....it's a nature....by nature we are designed to not be single....we are designed to choose a mate for ourselves for being reproductive....that's a nature....I can't do anything about that....

Unfortunately, not just nature is playing the game here, there is society too....I'm tired of explaining family and friends that I'm okay to be single....I'm not less than anybody else....that's kinda frustrating....

Last night, I was talking to my older sister....she asked me if I'm dating somebody....I told her "no"....Then she nodded her head and said "why is that Marjan?"....I said I haven't met anybody that I like!....I used to talk about my dates with everybody before....but now, I found out, I don't want to talk about a date....that's ridicules....I want to be free of thoughts....If I talk about the guy, then he's in my head all the time....I prefer to live like a guy....they don't keep talking about us to their friends and family....do they?....so....I told my sister that I dated couple of guys and it turned out not the one that I want, and I cut it loose quickly....then I told her, I really don't want to talk about this anymore.....

Yes, society is another pressure on single people....and the irony is that there are so many single people living in this world!

anyway....that's guys again....I think here is the only place that I can freely post my thoughts....thanks for reading my rants

I don't get pressure from my family as to why I'm still single at 38 years old. I put pressure on myself before anyone else does about it. It's not by choice that I'm alone. I guess I just don't have the luck that someone else has. I don't know. I don't know if I buy the old saying "it will happen when you least expect it" or it will happen for you when you're not looking". You can't find someone if you don't look I suppose. I get frustrated too at times about people may think "Why don't I have someone, or "it's something you're not doing right". I'm thinking "Oh I didn't know there's a right and a wrong way to meet people. What's next, an instruction book?

I agree....You can't find someone if you don't look I suppose.....
These days I stay at home watching TV more than going out, so how on earth is possible to meet anybody then....hehehe....
I tried online dating time to time, but no luck at that era either.....
I met one guy that I really liked, but my luck, he moved to England after three dates....that's a joke....you talk about luck....how that has happened....looking online...finding the one and then he finds a job and move far away.....I'm still in touch with him....but I'm living here and he's in England.....nothing serious between us at all....but I do like him....
I think the point is not to loose our hope....It will happen one day....I'm sure....
However, we got to get out of home....I used to do lots of different activities, but these days I'm not doing anything....and I'm still okay!

How did you go with the "big sister" type program?

Thanks for asking....I posted the form with a check, but haven't heard back from them yet....I don't think they have cashed the check even....I got to email them and follow up....

I think I want to find some other charities....

Sadly in these days finding a date IS a problem i'm still facing for a long time.

I agree 100%.

I agree 100% that it is very hard these days.

I always found it easier "to be with someone" when you've known them for awhile.

Why do I find it so difficult to find happiness in life.

I am trying to to look for the happiness in small places.. they joy of a smile, a nice flower in the garden etc.

Sometimes what I think happens is people are too picky with the things they shouldn't be, (for example, looks, job, car), and not picky enough with the more important things( like how that person treats you, respects you, listens to you). The second set of things I have here are the things that matter most to me.

That's so true....If somebody treats me poorly, I don't want to go out with him anymore....but at the same time, some compatibility is important to me....I don't want to be a provider for the guy....I want him to be smart and have a job or at least do something....not a lazy loser! and I got to have chemistry with the guy, so then the look is important....but the one that I say handsome may not look handsome for others....I know from past experiences....