[meowsers]

i am a recovering borderline and my partner has significant avp/schizoid traits

we have been together for about two and a half years, two of them living together, six months living apart

the relationship has been on off on off because of several long standing problems we don't seem to be able to lick

well i know what you are thinking... only a couple of problems... ! yeah, ok, craploads. we are like, opposites!

the things which tie us together are mutual intellects and mutual %#@&#! up-ness but there is a constant disparity on the emotional front, and while he is pulling away for self time, i'm getting clingy and needy. before you know it... boom

the sex thing is a problem too - he finds the intimacy of it difficult so he tends towards errrr, self pleasuring, rather than intercourse. while i want sex and don't get it.

anyway, despite the problems, we are still trying to strike a compromise and make it work. i am in therapy, and he is about to start therapy.

oh one other thing. he is a chronic marajiuana addict of fifteen years - he is going into therapy for this as much as the other stuff

ok so here is the question: what works for avp/schizoid personalities... because all my research suggests that it is very unresponsive to treatments?

i'm kinda hanging on thinking, therapy is a solution, the only thing that is allowing me to stay in this otherwise hopeless relationship

we really do care about each other, me more for him, obviously....

god i'm too tired to post this properly - i'm just waffling.

does anyone have experience of this situation? a bpd and a schizoid? and did you make it work? and if so, how?

i'm being an idiot aren't i? it can't work. i think. i just haven't faced up to it yet maybe.

???? (going to bed now)

thanks x

[meowsers]

oh yeah and the reason i mentioned the marajuana thing, which i now see i couldn't even spell two minutes ago, lol, is that he uses the drugs to be alone and introverted and withdrawn... i could easily point the finger at the drugs and say it is that that is ruining the relationship, but i know it is really the avp/schizoid stuff that is doing that - the need for withdrawal is already there, the drugs merely facilitate it

so there is dual diagnosis here - addiction and avp/schizoid

does this affect treatment? i guess it must

Hi. Welcome to PC I'm familiar with drug/alcohol rehab (worked three years in the field) and addiction rehab wouldn't wouldn't work for mental health. But..I think it could be combined by a therapist who works in both fields. good luck, pat

[kimmydawn]

hi there. i don't know much about the combo of which you speak. i just wanted to say that i do hope y'all do ok. you've both invested alot of time and energy into this relationship.

wishing you well,

kd

[meowsers]

thanks to you both

yeah we talked about it actually when he came home last night, after i had posted this, and i was saying how i had read all this stuff about schizoid/avp and drug addiction, and he seemed to think he was going to mention something about this to the therapist - as in, the drug addiction is being fuelled by the sch/avp rather than it being a straightforward drug addiction

mind you, is a drug addiction ever straight forward! no, prolly not

anyway. he seems to have taken it on board that it will be important to get a t who is knowledgeable about both pdisorders and drugs

i am gonna have a search on the net for ts who may specialise in treating this dual diagnosis. i think maybe that would be more use than me hanging round here asking people qs lol

thanks again
xx