I destroy everything good to me!!

Ok, so my ex and I have gotten back togther, we broke up for two months after a 6 year relationship and we have a daughter together. Since I quit my stable job and had to quit my last job for other reasons, I stay home all day with our daughter while he works like 8am to 11pm. I have never not been able to accomplish something and I cant accomplish even getting a good job and pulling myslef out of this pathetic self absorbed and black shadow that seems to follow me everywhere.

It affects our relationship horribly and I cant help but be mad at him every night when he gets home...sober or not I find something to yell at him about. I play the sad lonely girlfried role and I think I do it just to get attention. But he comes home ready to have a relaxing hour or two together and all i do is mess it up....every night! Help

(((CandleLight123)))

In general, it takes two to tango. I'm just saying.

I am also going through some very tough relationship stuff. Thank g-d, no children involved but relationship issues effect everything else in our lives. It's noble of you to try and take all of the blame for what's going on but in a relationship, both of you carry responsiblity for what happens and how you interact. Is he blaming all of your challenges on you? What are you mad about? There has to be a reason you're so upset. You should try and understand why you are so frustrated with him and work through that instead of blowing up every day when he comes home.

Good luck and big hugs. I understand.

Feddy

Feddy, thank you so much for your advice. It is sometimes really nice to hear that I am not the only one with relationship problems. I went and ate lunch with him today on his lunch break and we talked about why I freak out all the time at night. Partially its because usually I have a little alacohol in me by that time, but mainly I am just really lonely and crave interaction. Ha, sometimes I feel like my two year old, throwing a fit just in order to be noticed, although its negative attention, it is attention still.

I am mad at myslef for destroying so many good things I had going for me during our break up this summer. I have no friends and little respect left for myself. It it hadnt been for him, I am not sure where I would be right now.. He really came in, scooped up my broken pieces and is trying his best to glue them back together.

I think part of my anger is that I for the first time in my life am unable to take care of myslef. I absolutly despise asking for help and to be relying soley on him to provide for me is a really hard pill to swollow.