What is wrong with me?

I often wonder why it is that everyone leaves. Am I so awful that no one can stand being near me or what. My two bubs died. Dad died. After so many years of looking after Dad and Mum apparently I am not any good at it so now she is in a facility closer to my sister who is 6 hours away. Mum is another 40 minutes further away.My family said move here closer so I did and now they also have moved away, so I am interstate and alone. No mum No babies No friends.
I am a good nurse. I am a good friend, reliable but yet not *in your face* I wait to be invited. I am a good Person. Who was brought up to be considerate and tolerant. So why am I always alone and lonely? Why does everyone leave?
Why can't I go too?

Things just happened that way. It's not like your family just moved away because they didn't like you. It not as if those people died just to get away from you. Perhaps you can make some new friends or volunteer somewhere in order to be close to people. Nursing is a very social profession and I am sure there are many patients and families who appreciate you a lot.

My parents that I thought I would be taking care of moved away to a lovely retirement community. I feel abandoned (I know selfish). My son is grown and gone... my daughter is in college and will be gone soon (the thought terrifies me). No time for friends or activities I work two jobs. Why do I tell you all this depressing stuff? To tell you that you are not alone I am listening.

((((((((Jazper))))))))

How lost you must feel, There is nothing so painful in this regard as losing babies. I've been through it losing twin boys, so I understand how that feels. Abandonment is something we feel when we are torn away from someone or something we feel is defining in our life and part of something we thought we would do until someone passes over (including ourself).

Did your sister take your mother with her interstate when she left? That would be unusual and I'd be checking your mothers will now before your mother passes over so that you don't get a nasty shock. I know that sounds awful but it has happened to so many people who have looked after someone for so long and the siblings do nothing until they think their inheritance is in jepoardy.

There is support here for you Jazper, please take care and continue to post,

Rhiannon