[NeverEnder]

Hello. I am someone who suffers from Bi-polar as well as Asperger's Syndrome. The last six months has been very trying; I was hospitalized this Summer for depression and am dealing with this disease (depression) now, currently.

I am in a wonderful long-term relationship with a great woman. She is also Bi-polar.

I am writing for the following reason and as a source of venting: She has sleep disorders as well, it seems, and stays up all night and sleeps whenever she feels like it. When she is feeling depressed her sleep cycle is even more erratic (as it is currently).

I have been having trouble with this lately. Perhaps I am feeling needy. The other day she was sleeping until 8:00 PM. I felt abandoned and alone and I end up cutting myself (self mutilation). I am not blaming her for this act but it was a result of how I was feeling then.

Today she decides to go back to bed at 4:00 PM. This instantly sets me into a mindset of loneliness and it does make me silently mad at her.

I do not understand why this is a big thing to me or why I feel this way. I wish I could speak to my therapist right now as I would probably gain better perspective from doing so. In lieu of not being able to see my therapist today (Sunday) I am feeling erratic due to her going back to bed so late in the day-- I want to scream, drink (and I never drink alcohol) or do something else to vent these feelings of confusion and abandonment.

I love this person. I just do not think she understands the depths of my pain, confusion and other feelings.

Thank-you for reading.

Matthew

[Rhiannonsmoon]

Hello Matthew,

Welcome to pc. You're in a difficult situation and I'm sorry about the toll it's taking on you. Your girlfriend, is she taking medication? I know when I first started meds I slept for so long! I couldn't lift my head off the pillow and I slept such weird hours.

I know that doesn't help you and your feelings much, and especially if you can't talk to your therapist. But you can come here and get support and chat to others who maybe feel the way you do or who can help you to get through the feelings.

Please keep posting so that we know that you are ok and that things are ok for you,

Rhiannon

[bpd2]

Hi NeverEnder--I hope you're taking care of yourself and your own sleep cycle...I know when mine gets thrown off, I'm in danger of an episode. Please take care.

So, about spending time with your friend: what about spending time beside her while she's sleeping--either reading in bed, or something of that sort? Is that even a helpful option at all? Maybe that sort of thing could nudge her back into a more normal sleep cycle, if you're pursuing yours along side her? Probably best to talk to your med therapist about the idea...

[Skully]

I think bpd2 has a pretty good idea. You can be there with her even though she is sleeping.
Her sleeping pattern is all about accepting her and who she is. If it is bothering you that much and you are resorting to cutting, maybe you should talk with her about her sleeping and see if adjustments can be made. If not you might want to re-evaluate your situation and the relationship. I know it is hard but you have to take care of YOU first!

[madisgram]

i found that i needed to comfortable in my own skin not relying on others to fulfill something in me.
why don't u print out your thread and take it with you for your next appt. with T? it might help.