need to rant. but would like suggestions too.

Hi,
Lately i've been dealing with a best friend/roomie and her mom. We've been best friends since 9th grade. and now are way past school. Her mom is always putting me down and saying i'm this horrible friend to her, and that i take advantage of her daughter, and that she wants me out of my best friends life. My best friend doesn't want that, tho she's not too nice herself either. just she states she doesn't want to loose me. But i'm about fed up and ready to just say f it and go. I feel like i'm the one being stepped on not the one doing the stepping here. I put a roof over her head and give her food (which is another issue), and buy her things all the time just because i like being nice and watching the excitement in her eyes like a little kid on christmas morning.
But recently shes been just assuming i'm doing everything for her.. like i was making dinner, then she came in and was grabbing some soup (which i bought for ME!) and then stood over my shoulder acting like i didn't know how to cook my own food and was like "why you using that pan?" and
Me: Because i can't get anything under the facet to wash any other pans.
Her: Then why don't you wash the dishes, bum!
(mind you, i was NOT the one who put the dishes there, NOR WAS I THE ONE WHO DIRTIED THEM!) ... Then later she comes in for MORE soup and i was over my anger for then and was like "well this will be ready in 25 minutes if you-" then she cut me off (i was gonna say if you would like a bowl of it, i'll share), and said "i know (like she expected this of me already), i'm just hungry now. i'll have some later too." and walked off to where i'm just fuming mad..
And everytime i try to explain any of this to her mother she calls me out and says i'm the horrible friend for trying to tattle on her, and i'm worse than an eneimy to her. (in a short, not aggressive way). So telling or informing her mom of the things just gets me dug in deeper with her. Then i over heard a convo today with them, cause she had her mom on speaker phone (it wasn't cause i was trying to be nosey, but after i heard the first few things then stormed off elsewhere). her mom pretty much asked if i was helping around the house any, and she told her mom "no, not really" in this really sulky like voice. IM THE ONE WITH THE BROKEN FOOT HERE!! gah! I'm suposed to be in bed with no weight on my foot, but this stuff is going on. I wanna just leave... LIKE NOW! .. and that LIKE NOW has been for a few weeks now.
Everyone tells me i should just move out, but theres part of me that doesn't want to hurt my best friend, because by me moving away from her, she will be hurt. (though as i keep getting more and more angry, that part is slowly going "who cares!!!")
And then theres the factor that i have no where to go, and have no way to get my stuff from here to there.
And all of this only discribes 10% of it, IF that.
I wanna cry, but am mad, and anxious all at the same time.

lexi i feel that this "friendship" has run it's course. it's not like you'd be dumping her, etc. she's pushed you away. imho real friendships/relationships are healthier when it's give and take, respecting each other. my opinion is move on and put positive ppl in your life. she doesn't sound like a good friend at all. what's stopping you/struggling you must offer u some payoff emotionally if you continue this "friendship". once again this is only my opinion re what you posted.

Thanks. I see what you mean. honestly, i'd be better off both physically and emotionally if i moved on. I dont know why i find it so hard to go (not counting the place to goto and way to get there).

lexi, to help you move on-envision a new life where you find serenity by being surrounded by ppl that care for you, that like you for just being you, and are kind.
it takes courage to change your life but you can do it. you sound like a very caring person. do you have friends or family that can help by moving your things to a new environment? if not can you pay someone like "2 men and a truck" to move you?
i feel by your comments you have a tendancy of co-dependant behavior. your not wanting to hurt her tells me that. she's hurting you so why worry about hurting her? your moving on can bring you peace in your life. that can happen if you forge ahead rather than remaning stagnant in an unhelthy relationship.
if you can't move out yet, the less communication with your roomie and her mom will remove you somewhat from the toxic dysfunction. the less interaction the better. if she tries to push your buttons try not to respond. you don't have to. she's throwing out to you the carrot but you needn't go for it. obviously her behaviors are similar to her mom. so both are pushing your buttons. avoid being around her and her mom as much as you can.
i'm so sorry you are feeling so trapped. i hope these suggestions will help you

Lexi, what does the mother have to do with anything? I don't understand why you are even dealing with the mother and not your friend. Is your friend your roommate and living with you? Does she pay you any money for that or what? I don't understand the scenario, how she "wanders in" (From where? Where are you and how/when did she "get in"?). How can she have "more later"? How do you get from letting the friend abuse your kindness and walk all over you to her mother having any say whatsoever?

madisgram: They do, Thanks so much! Also I did some searching and reading, and about 98% of the things listed under Codependcy are me... So I guess I have some more reading to do up on that, and figure out how to work on that issue.

perna: well... me and my roomie moved into her parents house to keep watch and tend to their animals while they are away. And apparently no matter what i do, the mother has a beef with me. Tho I am the one paying for things, such as rent to their daughter(roomie), and sharing my food with her, and much much more.
And I try to deal with my friend, but she keeps evading me when it comes down to me actually having enough and trying to talk to her, but then she calls her mom up or txts her and cries to mommy basically, with adding things that never happened, and making me look bad, which leaves me to deal with the mom who for a bit over a year ago, i veiwed as a parental figure myself, until she droped the "lets just be friends" bomb on me, to now where she pretty much hates my guts, and i still am clueless as to what I really did to piss her off so badly.
Yes, roomate is my friend who i'm living with.
We've been best friends since 2003, so we originally met in high school.
It's very long story, just because this slowly started over a period of time. To now i'm just this mean person who she cries to mom about-most of the things she says(the worst of them) is lies, and her mom blindly believes her. and whenever i try to argue my side with her (the mom) it always turns out worse than where we started, because i'm always wrong and her daughter is always right.. yet she can says shes gonna defend her daughter to the end and talk poooo about my own mother. Just thing is, I dont go calling my mommy over things, i deal with it like an adult- erm.. well... more so than calling a mommy up on the phone. She also will do all this to her mom, and yet tell her she wants me to stay, and i'm a friend to keep- while still telling her how horrible i apparently am *cant even count on my fingers how many times i've been told i'm a horrible friend to her by her mom, and how i am the one who is taking advantage of her sweet little baby*
sorry... got riled up there... and went into more ranting..
I think it'd be diffrent if she could actually validate her reasoning for seeing me as this horrible person, but all she does is repeat things that her daughter told her that weren't even true, so it leaves me completely baffled about it, and i see no use in trying to argue my side of it with her anymore.

I'm also in the process of trying to find some place to live... thats more suitable for me anyways (more in the city, where buses run and such - since i dont have a car, and now dont have a drivers linscens either.)

lexi, you can always rant on forums! thank goodness for the internet, right? :-) based on what all you have said, i definitely agree that it is time for you to move out. while it sounds like you are a most magnificent friend, in future friendships you may want to have healthier boundaries. i can tell that you are sweeeeeet, so so sweet!!! it's too bad that your current roommate ("friend", if we can call her that?) doesn't see how great you are. time to find new friends who will cherish and appreciate you! you can do it!