Support/Advice/Game Playing

Hope you don't go totally away NICO. If you're a troll I'm a troll but maybe we could just put our own meaning behind that word and go away from this thread. That's what I'm planning on. Others who feel the same can too. We do have choices no matter what others think.

i'm sorry guys i've just gone cold turkey from my meds 2 days ago ( effexor 150mg ) stupid i know. ive been on them for a year or so and theyve done nothin for me, but when i found this place it has literally changed my life. ive never had support, the docs only seem to wanna give me meds and ask the same dumb questions every 2 months or watever. 5 years i ve more or less been a recluse due to my severe depression and in this last week i have been makin real steps torwards enterin society again ( ive been takin my little bro to school everyday couldnt have done it without ya jen) and i actually feel alive again. ive gone cold turkey before (olanzapine and seroxat) and it was horible but worth it because those meds made me put on a hell of alot of wieght very fast i still have the scars to prove it. i am back to my natural wieght now and that helps with my self esteem.sorry i rammblin i just feel i needed to prove i'm one of you guys.
its not your fault i'm just kinda vunerable at the mo, itll pass im sure, but i know ive got a long way to go before i value myself. sorry i find it hard openin up because its scary. thx for callin me back, i had my bags packed lol

No need for sorry but thats sweet you did...I dont know why they had you go off cold turkey that seems harsh....NICO I think youre the best.
xoxox

I can't speak for anyone else, but in my experience what is usually referred to as a troll is someone who comes to a board like this to just make fun of people or post just to get a reaction and a laugh just for kicks, but have no other reason for being here.

That has nothing to do with how much someone posts, or the quality of the posts, as far as I understand it.

I never got the idea the original post was meant for as a message for anyone in particular when I read it.

no ive gone cold turky of my own free will, i am not benifitin from it and there are side effects i wont go into lol

GAK NOOOOOO COLD turkey is only good on bread with mayo..I will PM you

I think that the best way to deal with any situation where you meet new people, either IRL or online, who seems to be 'in need' of anything, is with a healthy dose of both cautious detachment and concerned caring. It is possible to offer advice and support without getting attached immediately simply because we're human and we decide in the end who we're going to be friends with and who we're just going to be acquaintances with.

I used to read Tarot for fun & profit to the general public, and it used to frustrate me so badly when the cards would offer sound advice to someone in a bad situation, but week after week they kept coming back to hear the same advice - they would never attempt to change their circumstances or move forward, and the cards would tell them the same thing, over & over again. Some people just need validation for their feelings - I had to learn that 'giving' advice is like giving someone a gift - you can't be too attached to the advice or its outcome. There were many times I wanted so badly to just tell the client, "Look, this isn't doing anything for you - why don't you stop coming by?", but I also had to learn that some people weren't coming to be healed by my amazing psychic powers, they were just looking for someone who would listen to them & act as a sounding board for their own emotions & worries.

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Perzephone said:
Some people just need validation for their feelings - I had to learn that 'giving' advice is like giving someone a gift - you can't be too attached to the advice or its outcome. There were many times I wanted so badly to just tell the client, "Look, this isn't doing anything for you - why don't you stop coming by?", but I also had to learn that some people weren't coming to be healed by my amazing psychic powers, they were just looking for someone who would listen to them & act as a sounding board for their own emotions & worries.

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Wonderful and wise post! And a powerful lesson. Thanks for posting this perspective.

gg

******************HIJACK IN PROGRESS*******************




((((((((((((((((((((NICO))))))))))))))))))))))

I am so proud of you because you have made great progress. Keep it up. I have faith in you.


Huggles,

Jen

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CatWhispers said:

You really never know.

But i will say one thing. Even if you get suckered in by someone who is playing games, after you cared and gave your advice freely, don't necessarily feel badly.

You never know if somone with the same problem who was afraid to post read what you posted and it helped them.

I believe things happen for a reason.

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great attitude CatWhispers!!!!

there is not one person who is posting on these forums now that i believe is a troll. i hope this eases the fear that i might have caused someone. in no way did i intend for anyone to take it that way.

my two cents . . .

sometimes people are just "post-a-holics" . . . which isn't necessarily a bad thing . . . but definitely not everyone's cup of tea

i prefer short, to the point posts & threads . . . but i know i lose out on a lot of info by neglecting the long-winded stuff.

in the end, i'm happy Psych Central is flexible enough to allow one to post to one's heart's content.

There is also a feature called "Ignore"

I LIKE THIS THREAD if one really looks it names noone but covers a WIDE RANGE OF ISSUES

i'm sorry but this thread is a little to cold for my likin, i think it highlights we are all different and do things in different ways. we all have different problems so keepin an open mind and a little bit of tolerance can make a real difference to how we interact with people who we dont understand.

p.s. thx jen

And another thought about some people who post on forums like this and are not trolls:

There are some people who will post repeatedly on a specific topic, and then ignore all of the responses that many of us see as the most useful. Rather like that brilliant tarot card reading. They're not trolls, and they're not necessarily just posting for the attention -- many of them have another issue, often that whole "I'll ignore anyone who doesn't support that I'm blameless and everyone else has to change" thing, but sometimes it's as simple as compulsive perseverating (if that's not redundant) That sort of perseveration can come from organic brain damage, certain types of anxiety disorders, OCD like problems, etc. It doesn't mean that the person in question is faking anything, and it certainly ain't on accounta they're trying to upset anyone, it's just another one of the problems that can bring people to mental health forums in the first place.

And a last thought, which may be my last for the day: giving the advice or support is our choice, and it has to be done knowing that we may be sending it into a vacuum. If we aren't comfortable with that, or need some kind of proof that someone is going to follow our advice, maybe this ain't the right place for us? I know that I've offered up a lot of advice over the years on a couple of different boards, only to have the same person ask again and again for help wiht the same problems. Ignoring me, of course. It's frustrating, and it's rather maddening, but it's also par for the course. Sometimes I can ignore it, sometimes it's really under my skin -- but I have no control over how my advice is used, you know?

Sorry for the rambling. I habe a code.

[hands gen a tissue] It's an ok thread, to me. It could have gone awry, but hasn't really. I agree mostly that we shouldn't be judging other members, (let the mods do that) but try and be supportive when we can, and yes, remember that many many ppl JUST read posts and threads and are helped, without even joining us!

We each do the best we can, I hope! Our own lives change, our feelings wax and wane, our time each day changes as to when or how long we can come in... weekends are often slow, btw... don't read anything into a lack of written response.

Sometimes, imo, ppl don't post after someone has succinctly worded a great reply (they feel inferior and don't feel they can add anything)... imo everyone can post anyway, giving a "being here for you" type of support.

no one has to leave. Everyone comes here at a particular level of need and capabilities. IMO it's only when, after a period of time when there's never any change or movement or understanding or appreciation (etc etc etc) that members become "frustrated " with that member... and feel a need to SAY something. (It's said in many ways, some not very pleasantly.)

We need to keep on "keeping on" and doing our best. (Though it does hurt when I'm doing my best and others expect more.)

Sky, I think you're onto something... And thanks for the tissue.

I forgot something else I wanted to add above:

Some days, I'm just feeling grumpy, and nasty, and short tempered -- and it comes out in my posts. Maybe I'm just being childish when I post, maybe something's triggered an irrational place inside me, or maybe I'm just p-ed off at someone's attitude. Bottom line is that sometimes I post something that might not be particularly supportive, and it has more to do with me and my mood at the time than on what I'm responding to. My guess is that others experience a very similar phenomenon.

I'd guess a certain number of the 'shut up and go away' type posts are coming from a similar sort of place. Heck, I've posted things that later struck me as being like kicking a puppy, even though I think of myself as a Nice Person.

Man, I hope something in there makes sense. I'm gonna go get the Vick's...

I thank everyone of you awesome ppl for your support
Angie

I have found this post to be a very wonderful place to express how we see postings & our responses to others. It is true that there are many types of people who join in on these forums. There are many types of responses due to how we preceive the post. The concepts of forums are new to me as of just about a year ago. When my Mother was dx'ed with cancer, I couldn't find a forum that was active within a year from when I looked into it. I joined one that was an email forum to help me with the lymphedema that my Mother was experiencing after her cancer surgery. They were wonderful & pointed me in the direction to get my mother help which she refused to take. They were also very gracious after my Mothers death knowing what I had gone through trying to get her the help she needed.

This forum is one of the most active mental health forums I have experienced...not having looked around much past here. I started reading the posts & responding the best I could given experiences I had of my own....those are the easiest ones to feel like there was something I could provide that might help. It is a good thing to realize that it is not necessary to get deeply emotionally involved in the posts.....we can not fix everything nor can everything be fixed. I know that when I have gone through an experience & have come out the other side that I should know what I am talking about.....but realizing that the same situation is different for everybody.....my answer is not always the right answer for anyone else. All I can to is provide maybe a different way of looking at something....but can't make anyone else look at it that way. I did experience the frustration of someone going through the same thing I had gone through & would post over & over & over again about it.....suggestions were ignored & then came the question as to if the person was real about the posts.....just seeking attention wanting only the "poor baby" posts. It is our own responsibility to realize when we feel like we are hitting our heads against a wall with the better part of valor to drop it & go on with others that don't leave us frustrated or angry at the person.

I have found nothing but wonderful support & information that has given me insight to what I have been experiencing. I have been here for just over 1 year with several months off for personal issues with my Mothers death. When I came back, I had experienced a trauma that even I had a hard time believing happened. I got nothing but wonderful support & explainations of how the PTSD was causing what I was experiencing after the trauma. I am sure I sounded like a person who had just played a part on a Hitchcock horror movie.....but never once got that kind of response from anyone. I have also found that I read most posts, but if I can't relate to it, find it better not to respond than to say something useless. I am sure that most of us may post that way.....so I do not wonder when I don't get many responses to my posts. I also find it easier to respond to others than to put my deepest feelings out into public view....& then at times I just don't know how to put what I am going through into words.

I was also on an equine forum for a while.....I have found these forums to be a bit complicated & intimidating at times...trying to not ruffle feathers when I don't know the people well...I have found that taking the time to be here more often & getting to know the people better by just reading their posts.....has given me a lot of awareness into things I never had experienced in my life. It is a place to give & receive help....& knowing our own limitations may help to avoid being hurt.

Thank you for providing this thread for us to express our feelings & experiences.....much appreciated.

Debbie

i am startin to warm to this thread now, it is helpin me realise i cant be everones friend, not everyone will like me or understand me. its actually quite a good tool to help me deal with the real world, the internet is a democracy in the extreme which sometimes can be a bad thing, but we have to have faith in the good things that a democracy provides. used in the right way ( i think this thread is one of em) we can all become better people and learn to accept not ignore the differences between us. keep this thread goin people, lets exercise our freedom of speech. i see this thread as what is is now, its a bloody good debate that we all can all learn from thx for sharin your views guys i'm a better person for it.

see i am the true threadkiller hahaha

HAHAHA NICO you didnt think I would let you kill it did you

I just posted on a similar issue. I do not understand why some people thrive on the pain of others. I do not comprehend this type of amusement.

I never got that idea from the original posting either thank you. I understand the original posting to warn people seeking advise or information that some people come to rooms to make fun of or make members feel bad! Lets just say...for their own gratification, not to help others or even lend an ear to someone that desperately needs someone to hear them.