I talked to my friend

{{{{{{{Heidu}}}}}}}}

Thinking of you today and hoping that everything works out ok for both of you.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

and a door open...

sending you love and many hugs!
(((((((((((((((Heidu))))))))))))))

forgoten

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heidu}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

Thinking of you,
With love,
Fuzzy

Heidu,

Just finished reading this thread. I hope this all works out for both of you. Your friend sounds like the type of person that we can all use in our lives, and I know that you're the type of person that I need in mine.

I'm wishing you all the best, and look forward to hearing how it all comes out.

Much love,
bp

"I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn't met me yet."

whew... what a relief to hear from her. She may have had to really think about how to handle the situation. The time lapse may actually be an indication of how important you are to her.

*HUGS* to yoooo Heidooo!

*waiting for news* got my fingers...legs and eyes crossed for y I relly hope it goes well.
Let us know when you can we're all here for you

My update....

I went and talked to my friend. It turns out that she thinks I should be doing more to resolve my relationship issues. She is seeing things based on her perspective and not mine and how she would deal with these issues. She does in fact deal with some of the same issues in her relationship. It is her belief that I should be meaner. Alot more yelling and forcing towards my husband to make him change. I don't agree with that. His personality does not warrant anything positive coming from that. My approach is more firm and more patient. I can't see yelling at someone or forcing them to do or be something. I can only say how thier actions make me feel and to draw solid boundaries. I have done that and I am seeing progress even if t is slow.

She also expressed that she wants to fix things and since she is unable to, she tends to back away. All or nothing. She wants me to be happy and have a good life and she wants it now. Since she isn't able to make that happen she used the defense of backing away.

She is also dealing with her own issues like I said and it is hard sometimes for her to not get wrapped up in mine when she wants so badly for things to be different for me.

She didn't realize how little I need from her to make my life better. I need a friend to talk to and also someone nice to be around.

She also said she has a hard time confronting issues and tend to just back away. I told her that she just needs to tell me that she needs space when she does and if she has a problem with something to talk to me about it.

In the end, I think we made a reconnection but it's a little ackward because I am not sure what to say or do around her right now.

She said she didn't want to hurt me so she didn't say anything and it was easier just to back off but realizes she has really hurt me anyway.

I expressed what I needed from her as a friend. I told her I hoped she would feel more open to talk about my problems and hers.

She also said the language sometimes made it difficult because she often feels stupid. That is her issue and I told her that if she makes mistake I don't even notice. I think she speaks well.

We have more talking to do and hopefully in time we will become closer again.

Thats my update. Sorry if it's jumbled, I don't have alot of time this morning.

Thanks again for the love and support.
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Heidu))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) = You are amazing and wonderful, and I think you guys will become even closer after this, I really do!!! Well done!!!!!! Luv & respect, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

{{{{{{{{{Heidu}}}}}}}}}

I am so glad for you that things are now out in the open with both of you. Time is definitely going to bring you closer....it must be a relief to you to know what has been going on. I know that I am the type that would rather know than not know.

Hope you have a good day too hun.


Heather

"The Pessimist complains about the wind, the Optimist expects it to change and the REALIST adjusts his sails." ~~~author unknown

((((((Heidu)))))))

I am so proud of how you have handled this!

Thanks Jill. I hipe things work out well too. She is a good person and has helped me so much this past year and a half. I want her to be around when I am "all better".
Hugs
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Thanks for the hug Fuzzy :O)
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

I am glad you are part of my life too Beep. Thanks for the love and support.
Hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Heather,
It is a relief to know what is going on and that maybe things can get better.
I hope YOU have a good day,
Hugs of course,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

You knew communication was the key word and you went for it. You made the first move and I'm glad you got to talk to her.
Maybe now it will turn in a even better friendship. I sure do hope so for you.

Take care sweety! ((((((((((Heidu)))))))))))))
forgoten

Willow,
Thank you. I just did what I hadda do. Glad it's over. Not fun opening myself up like that but I am glad I did in the end.
Hugs hugs hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Communication is the key, lack of it causes most of our problems. My opinion anyway.
I am glad it worked out ok.
Thank you for all your hope and kind words, you take care too!!
Hugs,
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Heidu}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I think that you have handled this situation extremely well. Now that you and your friend have talked about what is going on, you both understand each other better and what each of you needs Now it can get better. I'm glad that you have a friend and that you two have been able to be open with each other like that. Both of you made yourselves vulnerable in order to understand each other better, and it might take a little time, but your friendship will be stronger for having worked through it.

Wishing you all the best and hoping you have a good day,
Wendy

<font color=red>"Striving for excellence motivates you; striving for perfection is demoralizing." -Harriet Braiker</font color=red>

Thanks Wendy :O)
Heidu

When one door closes another door opens; but we so often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door, that we do not see the ones which open for us.- Alexander Graham Bell

Phwew I can breathe now...I hadnt realized how anxious I was to find out how it went for you...You were heavy on my thoughts and hoping you were ok.
It sounds likea good step to me Heid...You took a chance because you felt your friendship was worht it as was she....and she accepted the open door, so to sya. If she is liek you, as you say, the things she did tell you were very hard for her to express before and she withdrew. Being liek you...it makes sense to me and comes across as being very honest.
All I can say is try to encourage the honesty between you two even if it may hurt the other person...agree between the two of you that you both KNOW neither ever wants to hurt the other. ANythign said that might...is only because you care about each other and your happinesses. She has the right to feel the way she does...she bases that on her own experience...not knwoing as much as you do about your relationship...and how she feels she would handle it. Comes down to she only wanted the best for you and for you to be happy. SO she was afraid to say so and backed off not realizing that probably hurt more than if she had voiced herself and taken a chance.
This is an awesome step Heid. I think you guys should keep talking about it and each of you make sure the other understands where the other is coming from or trying to say and why.
a Much better day, thanks for the Update I can quit stressing now so much that you're ok and not hurting so badly
phwew
love ya
Jenn