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#1
May 16, 2011, 09:48 AM
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My boyfriend and I of three years, have a child together, are now officially dangling on together by a thread. It's gottan very bad recently when I discovered I had STD's. I had never slept with anybody else so of course naturally I accused him of cheating on me. We're passed that for the most part now but things continue to get bad. He's completely changed ever since we moved around his family (both his brothers and mom and dad). Recently he disappeared on me for an entire day, that night I had to come pick him up in another town. He claims he'd been walking on the highway for 12 hours. Anyway, he's been cruel to me ever since that day. He basically threatened to abonden me over and over with our 6 month old baby. He bought me a ring, but won't talk to me, won't acknowledge me. He's said if I don't learn to keep my mouth shut then he will leave me. So I am keeping everything inside...everything.. all his comments (no come back), all his attitude, him ignoring me, blowing me off, calling me names...everything... I say NOTHING!! If you knew me personally, this is strange... very strange. I feel like I am going to BLOW UP!! I'm walking on egg shells here. I have no where else to go with my children.. no where. I have no family no supportive friends.. nothing. I will be homeless unless I tolerate this cruel man.
What's really messed up is he knows my parents walked out on me when I was a young child, yet he threatens to abonden me over and over... I can't take this anymore.. |
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#2
May 16, 2011, 09:55 AM
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Hello, youOme. Why are you allowing yourself to be bullied by a control freak who appears to have no concern for you or your needs?
You say, "I can't take this anymore.." Then don't. Good luck. |
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#3
May 16, 2011, 10:24 AM
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Can you go to a woman's shelter? They could help you find a place to live. Do you have a job? I heard an expert say once - we often find partners that have similar undesirable qualities as one of our parents - you were abandoned by your parents and your partner has the same qualities. he also knows what you fear most and is using this to his advantage. It's better for you to get out and start over with the help from social services. I'm sorry this is happening.
__________________
 This is our little cutie Bella  *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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#4
May 16, 2011, 11:59 AM
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Did he change overnight or has he always been like this? And if he's always been like this, why did you have a child with him?
 Call Social Services and tell them you need help. Get out of there. You shouldn't be taking this abuse. Like the Lynn said, you're just duplicating what your parents did to you. You shouldn't WANT to do that. Take your kids and leave. Let us know your progress. God bless. Hugs, Lee |
 lynn P.
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#5
May 16, 2011, 03:39 PM
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Quote:
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#6
May 16, 2011, 07:34 PM
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It kinda sounds to me like the baby made him feel trapped. It just seems funny that he changed right after the baby was born.
 NOW he has a little person that he's responsible for ~ that's something new to him. Take the kids and leave. He doesn't deserve you. And YOU deserve much better than this. A shelter is better than living with HIM. God bless and please keep us posted. Hugs, Lee |
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#7
May 19, 2011, 09:54 AM
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I think I am done with running away with my problems, I'm considering war. I didn't do anything to deserve this crap... I could really screw him over the way he did me.. While he's at work I could get a restraining order and throw him out of OUR apartment, then take the title to OUR vehicle and pay to have it put in my name.. that easy.. then he can figure out WHAT he's gonna do. Why should me and the kids suffer cuz he inconveniently became unhappy and an jerk for no damn reason. I'm tired of men treating me this way.. I'm no longer sad, but very ANGRY!
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#8
May 19, 2011, 10:00 AM
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Good for you. Take your power back. Make your anger work for you.
Before you do ANYthing, get some counseling..talk to someone at a shelter....you need to keep you and your baby safe. |
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#9
May 20, 2011, 08:35 AM
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I'm not sure if anger is the best solution, I want things to be civil for the kids sake, but I don't think he's capable. Now the tables are turned, he's begging again to remain in this relationship but I'm pretty sure there's to much damage. To much has been said and done to each other. I'm not innocent neither, I've said my share of hurtful things, but his is much more. He tells me everyone hates me and tries to convince me that I am a bad/wrong person. He's attempting to break me but I think he forgets where I've came from and what I've endured in life and he can't break me... I've seen much worse then this and still made it out strong. I need to start my life over for myself and my kids and focus solely on that and nobody else. It's just the thought of doing this completely alone that scares me since I have no family..around here at least. Accept a sociopath junkie mother who'd drag me down before helping me. So, for the first time in my life I need to go beyond my pitiful fears and care for myself and these kids. I can do better then my Mom did, I just fear I'll turn out as angry as she did for being a single mother and end up being a partial mom spending most of my time at the bars looking for love... or whatever. I guess everyone has a fear of turning out like their parents...idk. I just got to much trying to hold me back, so I got to let it all go I suppose, really it's all unimportant it this situation.
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#10
May 20, 2011, 08:46 AM
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If you really believe it's over, then you both should be mature and agree to be civil for the kids sake. Playing hardball and getting revenge only makes it worse for all concerned - taking his car means he won't be able to go to work and give you child support. You also should get a custody agreement so you both don't end up using the kids as pawns. The kids still need to have their father in their lives, so please always remember that.
If things turn around and you both decide to stay together, then you should get couples counseling. There's also many good 'fighting fairly' websites. A break up doesn't have to be ugly. I love this quote: "love your kids more than you hate your ex". I'm sorry you're in such emotional pain.
__________________
This is our little cutie Bella *Practice on-line safety. *Cheaters - collecting jar of hearts. *Make your mess, your message. *"Be the change you want to see" (Gandhi) |
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