[Miss Laura]

I guess this comes in this section but I am unsure.... Friendships

Hey Guys,

I am really struggling here with Friendships in the workplace well EX workplace. I last worked 13th January 2011 and ever since then I have not seen any of my so called Work Friends. I had a small group of 5 who I would say were my friends. But now nearly 6 months down the line I have NOT seen any of them. Not for the want of trying. I have contacted them it's them who are not wanting to see me.

Today I did Race For Life which is in aid of Cancer Reasearch UK. I was meant to be doing it with my colleague who I did it with last year. But she never got back to me. Turns out she did it herself. She has photo's all over FB but its never came up on my home page.... has she shunned me???? It would normally come up as an update and that she has changed her profile pic.

She is the 2nd colleague to do this to me. My other EX colleague has sent me a rather rude text saying I never ask about her which is untrue as that's all I do. I am the same on here as I am in RL.... I care about people.

I am not good with making and keeping friends for some weird reason.... Maybe it's the wackyness of BP that makes me a freak when it comes to friends.

Why do I put myself through torture..... I have been crying about this lost Friendship as I really thought this older woman liked me and we USE to get on so well. I haven't done anything to her.

Think I am not gonna make any attempts to make friends again as I always end up getting hurt

Hello, Miss Laura. Have you talked to your therapist about this?

[Miss Laura]

Hey TheByzantine,

No I only see a Psych Community Nurse (CPN) no therapists. I have been lying to myself thinking everything was fine in this department. I have lost 10 work colleagues cause of BP which makes me really angry

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

I guess this comes in this section but I am unsure.... Friendships

Hey Guys,

I am really struggling here with Friendships in the workplace well EX workplace. I last worked 13th January 2011 and ever since then I have not seen any of my so called Work Friends. I had a small group of 5 who I would say were my friends. But now nearly 6 months down the line I have NOT seen any of them. Not for the want of trying. I have contacted them it's them who are not wanting to see me.

Today I did Race For Life which is in aid of Cancer Reasearch UK. I was meant to be doing it with my colleague who I did it with last year. But she never got back to me. Turns out she did it herself. She has photo's all over FB but its never came up on my home page.... has she shunned me???? It would normally come up as an update and that she has changed her profile pic.

She is the 2nd colleague to do this to me. My other EX colleague has sent me a rather rude text saying I never ask about her which is untrue as that's all I do. I am the same on here as I am in RL.... I care about people.

I am not good with making and keeping friends for some weird reason.... Maybe it's the wackyness of BP that makes me a freak when it comes to friends.

Why do I put myself through torture..... I have been crying about this lost Friendship as I really thought this older woman liked me and we USE to get on so well. I haven't done anything to her.

Think I am not gonna make any attempts to make friends again as I always end up getting hurt

Friends from work are a weird thing....there were women i would have sworn were my Bestest Bestest friend when we worked together, but when i got sick, they disappeared.
Sometimes work friends are just Work Friends. Friends for while you work together. When one of you leaves the job...the friendship ends.
Also called fairweather friends.

I know how you feel about not wanting to get hurt - my last job I definitely held back - really, we are going to work to work, not to make friends anyway, right...i ended up making a friend in SPITE of it all - and this girl pushed it....she thought i was a real b__tch because i wasn't being friendly.

But i also don't tell anyone anymore about my illness - the "new" work friend doesn't know (and I don't work there anymore anyway)

But this is not your fault - work friends are convenient, but it's just that "out of sight, out of mind" mentality that people get sometimes - i don't think they are doing it to hurt you personally.

[Cayce]

Wow. I thought I was reading my story.

I went out on sick leave for breast cancer and was away from work for 10 months. During that time, I heard from no one. Not one of my coworkers inquired how I was doing unless I contacted them.
After my 12 week FMLA (USA) ran out, my supervisor denied my continued sick leave, instead sending me a hand written note, in all CAPS, telling me I was now using unscheduled sick leave and was subject to disapline and removal and sent me a resignation form.
Mind you, my employer stresses "Bank your sick leave" and I had 1200 hours saved but that didn't seem to matter. A different mgr showed up in my office and allowed me to continue sick leave.
When I returned to work, all my pictures had been removed from my locker, my dishes thrown away and my work stock issued to someone else. All referrence to me had been removed from the office.

I got the message loud and clear.

I was only back to work for 4 months before I took a leave of absence.
I have been off for 1 year, seeking treatment with a psychiatrist for depression and avoidance personality. I will probably not be allowed to return to work as my employer, while claiming to want to help the injured and ill, never can find suitable work for your condition.

Other than no income, I really don't care.

[Miss Laura]

Thanks guys,

There is another issue that has arisen....

1 of the women I get on well with is having a Birthday party in her house on Friday to which she has invited me. Do I go or do I not go? I know work colleagues will be going. I spoke to CPN and he says I have done nothing wrong and I should go to the party and have a good time. I am scared, anxious, worried and generally unsure what to do. What if people question me, what if its uncomfortable, what if I ruin it for my friend's who's birthday it is, what if I screw up?

I just don't know anymore with people, how come my bipolar has made me friendless in the space of 6 months

Originally Posted by Miss Laura

Thanks guys,

There is another issue that has arisen....

1 of the women I get on well with is having a Birthday party in her house on Friday to which she has invited me. Do I go or do I not go? I know work colleagues will be going. I spoke to CPN and he says I have done nothing wrong and I should go to the party and have a good time. I am scared, anxious, worried and generally unsure what to do. What if people question me, what if its uncomfortable, what if I ruin it for my friend's who's birthday it is, what if I screw up?

I just don't know anymore with people, how come my bipolar has made me friendless in the space of 6 months

Do you want to go?
I agree with the CPN that you haven't done anything wrong but you need to feel comfortable while you're there too.

Have things prepared in your head to say if there are specific questions you're worried about...
Keep the topics off of work and YOUR personal life and ask people about themselves - their vacation plans, their families...weather...current events...Read the news the days before the party so you are up to date...I always try to do this because otherwise I never pay attention to the news.

You will not ruin your friend's birthday - they wouldn't have invited you if they didn't like you!!!!
Maybe you can go, give yourself a time limit on how long you will stay, like an hour....if you're having a good time you can stay longer but if at an hour, you are feeling bad, you can always say your goodbyes and go.

I just don't know anymore with people, how come my bipolar has made me friendless in the space of 6 months

i think you're being too hard on yourself. you wouldn't have been invited to a party if you didn't have friends.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Jadedmoonbeam,

I think I do want to go... but at the same time I am worried about getting nervous and panicy!! What if's comes into it. I have been looking on FaceBook as she has an invitation on there just to see who is going from work. Definates there are 2 so far. So I am kinda like maybe I can go. Then I get a text from another friend saying she is having a flat warming party the same day as the birthday party. So I have no idea what to do.

Good idea getting questions/answered prepared in my head before I go if I decide to go. Sorry I am being hard on myself. I always do that.

[Miss Laura]

Hey Cayce,

God that is awful....

Why would they do that to you.... you have enough stress in your life without the stress of work being complete dicks! Can/would you want to fight them on this? I am shocked about what they did in the staff room.... your locker/dishes etc like you never worked there. How rude and very inconsiderate.

Hope you get somewhere with your work