[Jenn1fer82]

I use to have this best friend where he was my main support for those years. We did everything together, guided one another in our lives and we had the best of times and just having fun what friends should be doing together. Over time he began to have feelings for me and even though we were the best of friends I couldn't have the same feelings. I couldn't ever see myself with him in that way and I was very honest with him from the very beginning. We decided to stay friends.

I found myself being taken advantaged by him after a night of too much drinking and the next morning I felt he had betrayed me in every way. This isn't the first time that he stayed the night when I had too much to drink. Thats what friends do for one another and we would look out for one another especially when one had too much to drink. This time after years of friendship I found out that he took advantage of me. I hate him and I still do. I told him to never contact me ever again and that was about 3 yrs ago.

For those 3 yrs things were going well and suddenly this year he dares email me to wish me a happy bday. Suddenly I'm remembering all those shameful feelings and the hate that I have for him.

Why did he have to contact me, I just want to move on with my life. Things were going well... How do I cope?

[Direction]

Sorry he called...

"taken advantage of" can be a loaded word...not sure if you are trying to be polite or what this means? Most definitions there are legal consequences for this.

Definately talking this out with a professional would be my first thought...some smaller items...block sender on your email, fb etc...if there is a person I know I don't want to talk there name changes on my phone to "Don't Answer"

[Jenn1fer82]

That horrible night he had raped me. To him he still believes that it was mutual. I was in rage and telling him I never wanted to be with him so why would I have sex with the guy. He's taken me home before in the past where I had too much too drink and he never tried anything before I mean we were the best of friends who just looked out for one another, who are always there for each other. We were friends for years so I wouldn't expect anything like that from him. I thought he was a good friend of mine that I could trust but that night was a horrible and doom night for me. By him emailing me just shows me that he still believes that what he did was okay. I hate him, I hate him with every part of me.

[afterrain]

I have to ask, did you tell anyone about that night? It may be a good idea to talk to someone about it. And you are right, true friends do not do things like to a friend. You have every right to be mad at him. But do not do anything to get back at him. That will make everything worst for you. If he try to talk to you again, make a note about it and tell someone. I really do hope that everything works out for you and that he will leave you alone.

[Rhiannonsmoon]

((((((((((((Jennifer)))))))))))) I'm so sorry that happened to you. Here to support you and your choices. Don't be afraid to make a strong decision, the shame does not belong to you.

[brokenwalls]

Hi im sorry to hear that he took advantage of you. Must be a very painful memories that you have been pushing to the back of your mind. Im surprise he still remember your birth day after 3yrs. I don’t even remember my families birth days. Any ways reading what you wrote it seem like there’s more to the email then it looks. You said you two were close friends before he hurt you and with him remembering about your birth day must mean he still haven’t forgotten about you. You wrote

“By him emailing me just shows me that he still believes that what he did was okay.”

now, does he REALLY still believe that what he did was okay or do you believe that he still believe? How I see it, by him emailing you after 3yrs he must feel bad for what he did to you and wanted to see if he can try and make up for it. Of course how can he make up for what he did. But you never know. Then again I can be wrong. Sorry I tend to look in to things to much. Like why would he even contact you after all this time if he really believe that he didn’t do anything wrong, he wouldn’t have contact you at all I hate guys like that, I wish they would apologize for what they did and make up for it UHHHHHH piss me off. They might not be able to take back what they did but at least try to make up for it and showing me that they are really sorry. That way at least I wont have all this negative thoughts in my head, no anger in my heart and no hate in my life. Ill still be mad for what they did but I wont be angry and filled with hate you understand what I saying girl? Hmmm. Maybe he matured and realize his mistake. Again I can be wrong and I can just be hoping that he try to make it up to you so you wont have this negativity inside you. Because you deserved better then just a lame plan “im sorry“ no-no, that’s not going to cut it.

Anyways you said you want to move on with your life but it doesn’t seem to be easy. Sound like you been holding a lot of anger in witch is bad for you. If your really want to move on you sometimes have to face your evils from the past and lay the problem to rest. You cant moved forward by pushing it to the back of your mind and hopping to forget about it. Because it will never go away. And with out knowing it your anger slowly start to build because of it. If he is trying to make it up to you why not hear him out. It might be hard but you got to be strong and face it what I mean by strong is don’t let him give you a lame im sorry and that’s it you tell him he better come up with something 100 times better then that. And when you do you might be able to resolve some of the hate you have. And you might be able to lay the problem to rest and bring in a more positive energy. To much hat is never a good thing. Of course he might not even try. What a looser why is he even going to email you and wish you a happy bday if he not going to try and mend your broken heart that he broke. Such a PIG UHH. Sorry im really a depress, contradicting and emotional person. And am really angry with guys like that. You might not want to hear from him but he have to make it right. GUHHHH.

I don’t know if im even being any help when I cant even deal with my own problem. Any ways best of luck and I hope you find a way to get all that hate out. And sorry for the long read when I get in to it I get in to it you feel me girl.