Best Friend Issues

Background- My best friend and I have been best friends for 15 years now. We have stopped talking on and off here and there for no reason in particular just busy with our own lives but we eventually get back in contact and everything is great. We just pick up where we left off.

Situation- My truck is a piece of crap and constantly breaks down and leaves me stranded. About a month ago, I talked to her on the phone and she said she was cleaning her house. I went to the store and then to the gas station and my truck wouldn't start. This was about 20 minutes from the time I talked to her on the phone. She lives 2 minutes (literally) from where I was at. I called her and asked if she could come sit with me until I could get the thing to start and she said "well, I just laid down and J (her husband) is about to leave for work and K (her 5 year old son) is in bed". That was a no to sum it up. I said okay and hung up.

Question- Do I have a right to be angry for her not coming?

I feel like I have went above and beyond for her over the years and she just left me hanging. I understand that she has a child that was in bed but if even she could have asked her husband to stop by and make sure I was okay would have been nice. He had to drive past where I was at to get to his work. I can't help but thinking of all the times that I have helped her out and stopped what I was doing to go out of my way for her and anyone else for that matter. I don't do things for people because I want something in return but it did sting a bit to know she wouldn't help.

moral dilemma, answer lies somewhere in middle of no and yes. could be you will go to ends of earth to help someone, we always like to be treated how we treat others. HTH

That does seem a little harsh.. but honestly in my experience, you really can't rely on other people. You gotta be able to take care of yourself. It's nice if they're able to help out, but they have their own lives. I understand being annoyed by it, but also take this as a lesson and get AAA! Or see how much it costs to add towing service to your car insurance. Mine was only a few bucks a month. Totally worth it - especially if your truck does this on a regular basis.

I need more than AAA. They would be like "I ain't towin' that thing!"

Well the nice thing is it includes other things like jumping your battery or changing a tire. I had just signed up for mine a couple months before I had a tire blow and they were there within 20 minutes. And it cost me nothing to get my spare put on.

That is great. In Florida we have a thing called "Road Rangers" which I think is a program through the Florida Department of Transportation. If you run out of gas or have a flat, you can call this number and the road ranger will come out to you and give you enough gas to get to the next exit or help change your tire. I think they do other stuff to but I am not sure of the extent. It is free also. Thank goodness because I ran out of gas on the interstate not to long ago.

I'll be the bad one. First of all like you said she had a child who she didn't want to wake up from a nap which is understandable. Second, she doesn't decided what her husband can do and can't do. I think he should have made the decision on his own and he didn't
stop by. He might have walked out the door and she never seen him after talking to you.

We would always like to have our friends there for us when we need them but that is asking too much. Life doesn't always working that way.

It could be that you value the friendship more than she does. People can be really selfish sometimes too. I once went out of my way to help someone move and when it came time for me to move that person I had helped was nowhere to be found . Bottom line is most people simply don't care about nobody but themselves

The whole kid in bed thing is a valid excuse...If it weren't for that, then I would say "yes" she was wrong. If she was lying about her kid being in bed, shame on her and she would be wrong. I have been in this type of dilemma before. My friend has always had unreliable cars. And, they always break down. I always come through for her if she needs a ride. But when it comes to my daughter, if she is in bed and I can't make it, she's cool with it because she understands. Or at least, it's never been brought up as an issue. She knows what it's like having kids and she knows that I wouldn't flake on her because I always got her back...Or, like someone else said, maybe she doesn't value the friendship like you do...

The bad thing about the kid being in bed was I had talked to her not even 30 minutes before I broke down and her kid was not asleep then. She decided to go back to working nights so she could make more money and now her husband carries her son to her parents house every night. Sometimes he is already asleep and sometimes he isn't. Regardless of the details of that particular incident, there have been many others (not related to breaking down) that she has not been there when I needed her when I knew she could be and just chose not to be.

"I need more than AAA. They would be like "I ain't towin' that thing!" "

Can't give any great advice on the friendship angle, but I will recommend AAA. I've been a AAA Plus member, their gold membership, for 18 years and used the heck out of it. You get three free tows a year, up to 100 miles per tow, and they will bring you gas or change a flat. Believe me, if they'll tow my 1993 Ford F350 1 ton 4x4, and they have, they'll tow anything. Don't remember the cost offhand, but it's really reasonable, way cheaper than you would expect for the service you get. There's also a lot of hotel discounts and that kind of stuff. I'm not affiliated with AAA, just someone who's been happy with their service for a long time.

Hazel, having put my granddaughter to bed many times, I can tell you is a half an hour is plenty of time to have put the child to bed after your original conversation is over.

I suggest you accept your friend's excuses as truth, forgive her, and move on. I also support the others who have suggested AAA. It is really a good roadside program for the money. They rescued me from a bad spot earlier this month.