[318mph4me]

I am amazed at the lack of support that my mom and B/F are NOT giving me. They were contstantly on me to get help. They were so concerned. They were fed up. They were stressed because of my mood swings. So I finally say uncle and swallow the shame that comes with admitting that I have gone to long without getting help. I don't have insurance and my attempts at getting county mental health help were fruitless. But I perisited in trying to seek help and kept trudging ahead when I really wanted to give up. I finally get assitance from a wonderful woman through my B/F EAP. Someone finally heard my plea for help and she went out of her way to get me my own free sessions (major exception to policy). Anyway, I didn't give up when I really didn't want help in the first place. In the past week I have had to acknowledge and deal with the dark corners of my life that I have avoided facing and even forgot about years of emotional damage. So this week I had no choice but look at my junk because I saw myself in everything I read, the tests I took placed me in severe status and hearing the therapist tell my how bad off I was almost was more than I could handle. I admitted to my mom and B/F how bad off I really was and that I needed their support and help in taking some of the weight off my back. I am.......hurt, disappointed, and mad that they have NOT offered any help and have only added more to the plate. HELLO I said help me not kick me while Im down. I am so worn out and broken and need to lean on someone or something before I collapse. I turn to them for help and they go deaf I guess. Mom continues to complain that I don't do things "right" and my B/F just isn't there...another thing all together. I am so used to going it alone and have learned not to depend on anyone else. Im alone, lonely, scared, mad.....I'm hurt. I have given up asking for their help. Once again, I go it alone.....well, now I have all of you. Thanks. Feel better already (kinda).

Good luck, 318mph4me.

[beauflow]

I am so sad to read your post 318mph4me, do you have friends to lean on for support? If not just keep trying and hopefully your boyfriend and/or mother will come around. If not perhaps there is support some where where is less expected.

And Please keep posting!

I can related with gettin help.... i, myself have had pride issues with admitting I am not doing a good job with me and still am looking for help for a therapist bit ya know what, its ok to ask for help, see some light from others that have knowledge with talking and giving suggestions to people. Don't give up on help, even if it comes from books or sites.
Good luck and I wish you well!

Keep talking too

[RomanSunburn]

I think this is definitely something you should bring up in therapy, if for no other reason than that she's aware of how you are feeling and the pain you are going through. Maybe she'll have some suggestions on to get through to your mom and your boyfriend.

Definitely continue to post here. PC is a wealth of support.

Maybe you could ask your boyfriend to come to a session with you (after you talk to you therapist about all of this). Maybe your T can help open his eyes to the roll he needs to play in your recovery. He simply might not know what to do.

[kaliope]

318
It is a shame that you loved ones are not being supportive of you which is probably making it more hurtful because you went to all this trouble for them. But now that you know how "bad" off you are, I hope you can change your focus and get the help because you want to get better for yourself. You will find lots of support here at PC. Make sure to check out the chat rooms where you can talk live to other people when you need support right away. Welcome to PC.