A Strange Question

I have a strange question to ask and I know how it is going to sound but stick with me please. My girlfriend's younger cousin has a crush on her and I was wondering if I should say something about it to her or just ignore it. He is only thirteen and I met him for the first time yesterday. When we were alone he told me Mandy was his girlfriend, not mine and he was going to marry her when he grew up. I laughed at him because I didn't know what to say but it is a bit disturbing.

At thirteen he shouldn't be having feelings like for his cousin and he should probably be talking to somebody about them. I have two female cousins and I never had any feelings like that for them when I was younger. Just the thought of it would have made me sick. He hugged her four times when we were there and Mandy was very friendly with him. I'm not jealous or threatened but I am concerned about his wellbeing.

Has anybody else on this forum came across a scenario like this and what do you think I should do? Is it natural for a boy his age to have these feelings? I was surprised she had a cousin this young but there is apparently a ten year age gap between her Father and her Aunt.

I think you should ask her about it. Your just being honest and there nothing wrong with that. I don't think she will get mad or anything, for you asking. Who knows, she might not even know about her cousin. So it can be a good thing to talk about it.

its actually quite normal for 12-13 yr olds to develop "crushes" on their older relatives.

how to handle it. dont bring it up again. wait until the cousin brings it up. then in a gentle non humiliating way explain to them that its against the law for cousins to marry then get them talking about cute girls and guys they go to school with. when school starts most teens this age forget their crush on the relative and transfer their thoughts to the girls and guys in their school classes-- soon this cousin will be talking about how this one grew up over the summer and now looks so great and which ones are "dogs" and which one they know theres no hope for but are easy on the eyes and wishful dreaming and all that other stuff that 12-18yr olds discuss when talking about their love life, crushes and boy/girl parties.

You can mention it to her, but I wouldn't get too worried. At 13, a boy is VERY immature -- he probably hasn't even THOUGHT about the relation thing. He's just starting to physically mature, and I'm sure he's a bit confused about all that is happening to him. Boys don't mature as quickly as girls do -- this sounds more like a "puppy love" thing that youngsters feel. I don't see anything abnormal about it.

Try not to worry too much. He'll find a new "girlfriend" soon. God bless & take care.

I did some checking with the district attorneys office here in town.. this is going to sound a bit confusing so bear with me..

In the USA -

first cousins can not engage in intimate relations and cannot marry.

Some USA states have made some new laws that use the wording "first cousins once removed" can marry.

that wording sometimes leads people to believe first cousins can marry. but thats not what the laws mean.

building a family tree here -

my mother has a sister.
the sister is my aunt.

the aunt has a child. this child is my first cousin.
this means it is the first generation of cousins in the family.

now we take this generation and add another generation of cousins by -

my first cousin has a child. this child is called my second cousin.
my second cousin is also called my "first cousin once removed" because there is a generation of cousins (my aunts children) in between me and this second cousin.

I cannot marry my aunt
I cannot marry my aunts children who are my first cousins.

but I can marry my second cousins because they are my first cousins children and a whole generation has gone by in the gene pool.

To find out what your Australian laws are contact your treatment providers or your governing officials - police, prosecuting attorneys. they can sort out whether this cousin and your girl can marry.

Thanks guys. I actually asked this same question on another forum and got ridiculed with immature responses so it’s great to come on here and read some serious replies. This is probably the most helpful forum I have been on and it’s great to know I can count on you members for good advice.

I ended up telling Mandy about her cousin yesterday and she already knew about it. She said he had been acting that way since he went through her drawers and came across some of her old modelling photos at her parents’ house and I had nothing to worry about because it was just a harmless crush and he would get over it when he got older. His parents' know about it and are not concerned either but he did get in trouble when he invaded her drawers.