should i stop feeling like im a burden to my family?

ok i took my kids out 4 days ago to get shoes & hair cuts for going back to school & i got mine cut as well its been about a year sence i had mine cut it was defintly needed & surprizling enough i was in a good mood well not being stressed out for being out it was nice,& my hair turned out ok to im not really picky ,we came home & all was good ,i woke up the next day & i felt great ive been depressed for 10months continuesly non stop so this was great i cleaned the house & hung pics on wall & all was good my husband came home & he was happy & the kids were happy things r going smooth & my husband says to me what a relef to see you happy i feel so bad when your sad i dont know what to do when your like that,i thought ok its over the sadness is gone im free & i felt that way for 3 days great & all those days my husband was happy like the weight was lifted off him & he kept teasing me saying new dew (hair due ) new attitude ! night & day difference i was so happy to be helpfull by just being happy & productive i didnt know i had it in me from being down so long i forgot,so today i woke up & was tired i thought ok it will pass oh & my potassum is low because my legg swelled up the other day & it happened to me before & my eyes get blurry & i gotta wear glasses but onely when potassum is low everything is blury this is my cure not a docs cure but i dont have health insurence we lost it about a year ago & money is tight so that can be making me tired as well ,i know alot of people are gonna say go see a doc but i tried for assistence & couldent figure it out & due to that i was turned down ,so back to story ,so i was tired but was ok ,i had to pay the bills & i thought it was around the 15th of this month ,not realizeing it was the end of the month,i seen all these bills late a few shut off notices i lost it my mind started spinnning out of control i couldent foucus on anything i wanted to lay down but was sorta late ,my husband called & i was trying to cover it up but he seemed sad i could hear it in his voice as he tried to cover it as well ,so i told him im gonna lay down & fix this ,so when he came home he came right up to the bedroom, i heard him comming upstairs so i jumpted out of bed ,didnt want him to see me like that again ,i went to bathroom he came back downstairs,i came down a few min later,& he & my son were sitting at the tabel & i blurted out what happen in a confused voice & said i have 1,100 in my purse & 500 in the bank i need$600 to pay bills i have to keep $300 out for my tires & i dont know what i neeed for kids clothes,my sons shoes were $70 & my other son still had to get his shoes but i bought him 2 pair of jeans that were $40 a pair & my youngest son still needed paints & they both needed shirts & i didnt know how much that was gonna cost & i needed money for food there is nothing in the house to eat & my truck is getting inspected that was gonna be $100 i dont know whats for dinner & the bottel on the grill is empty i gotta get that filled (hope i didnt make anyone dizzy !sorry) my son said to me ok you can stop now your making me confused i said you can go in the room & my husband said to me your confusing me to & then he said order pizza( oh & i had to clean my truck to ) ill go clean your truck ,keep the $300 untill after school shopping all you need to due is pay the bills & take kids shopping for close & he will be giveing more money in a few days he said everything is gonna be ok ! he & my 2 sons went out to clean my truck i started to get sick from all the stress i was going threw i feel like when is enough how much does one have to suffer before it to much i dont wanna be this way & he is not bipolar & it brinngs him alot of stress,sometimes i think it would be better or healthy for him to have a new girlfriend so he dont have to deal with it anymore if i could give my bipolar back i would i dont bring a healthy enviroment i dont yell & scream im not even mean my specilty is to run & hide as often as i can to make for a somewhat calm inviroment for them ! wow its a book sorry !

Do you take medication or just food for your potassium? Because aside from the things you say (legs swell, tired, have to wear glasses) it makes ME depressed and want to cry, I don't know if you feel that way too when your potassium is low.

You know that is kind of dangerous, right? I am sure you do not want to give yourself and your family even more trouble, please try to keep your potassium level good. The bipolar will be a LITTLE bit easier, if your health is better in this way. I know it's hard, but we are here for you. (Some of us run and hide too! I don't want to mention any names, but her initial is h...!)

thank you for the heads up your right i do have a eating dissorder & i have potassum pills i should take but they make me sick guess what doese it matter im sick all the time well everynight iget sick when i take my meds i guess it makes sence if i get to a doc & straiten up my health i would feel better thanks illl try to do that !

http://www.drugs.com/cg/potassium-co...oods-list.html

"Most adults need about 2000 milligrams of potassium from their diet each day."

This is just part of what is listed on that page:

High potassium foods (more than 200 mg per serving):

One papaya (781).

One cup of prune juice (707).

One cup of cubed cantaloupe (494) or diced honeydew melon (461).

One small banana (467).

One-third cup of raisins (363).

One medium mango (323) or kiwi (252).

One small orange (237) or one-half cup of orange juice (236).

One medium pear (208).

there was a person on the dr phil show with an eating disorder a single woman I think in her 20's living back with her parents and a teenage sister. I am a fat old lady so how could I relate, right? but this young lady and I went through every day the same way, ending up every night saying, TOMORROW we will start over and do it right, do it perfectly - just not TODAY. I told my therapist about it, how much it scared me, how much I was fooling myself. so now I am trying to do little things every day, and when I forget, and a few days go by and I am back to my old ways, I just start over again, I mean who cares, nobody is keeping score. sometimes I post on "what did you do right today" on this website, if I remember. I know meds will make me queasy too esp my potassium if there is nothing on my stomach or if I have not had enough water before bedtime I will wake up hallucinating. not fun.