[amandaagosh]

So, I am new to this website. I have met my soul mate, his name is Josh and we've been together for 4 years. I am very happy with him, however, I go to school full time and I work part time and I feel like a lot of our bills and responsibilities are on me and I feel like it is not fair.

He is suppose to be applying to jobs so we can have more money and he just is too lazy to do it. He is suppose to do so many things and he just doesn't do them because he is lazy.

I don't know how to get him to do these things and I refuse to enable him- but I am sick of the burden and knowing I have to take care of all the bills and everything.

Any suggestions?

Thanks you.

Amanda

[Leed]

Hi ~ You don't say how old you both are, but your "guy" is certainly immature! I don't know why you're still keeping him around.

He might be a nice guy and all that, but unless you want the rest of your life to be the same thing, I'd get rid of him and look for someone who knows that you don't get things HANDED to you for free! Why should he work when you're putting up with this? You need to tell him to either get a job or get out. He can't keep USING you forever -- and that's just what he's doing -- using you.

You deserve better than this. You're working hard to improve your life -- throw this leech out and find someone who appreciates you. Hugs, Lee

[alwaysrejoice]

I've been down that road. My old bf used to eat all my food, sleep at my apartment, he practically lived there and contributed nothing. I now have a husband who is successful and treats me with respect. It might hurt for awhile, but that will go away once you find someone better for you.

[NuckingFutz]

Hmmm, short of quitting your job and staying home and watching soaps all day and counting him to support you both (he won't or can't), I'd say, get rid of him. You don't need to be working so hard in a relationship when the other person doesn't put forth the effort. Does he contribute anything like cleaning the apartment and cooking and helping in all the other ways he could possibly help?

If he is not contributing to the relationship in this way, ask yourself in what ways he contributes to the relationship? Being cute and funny doesn't count...

Good luck with this one.

[amandaagosh]

Hello, thank you everyone for your feedback.

And no, he does contribute- he makes dinner, and occasionally cleans, and pays half the rent but that is about it. All of the fun stuff we do comes out of my pocket and it is just frustrating. Believe me when I say I am a very strong person, I don't put up with crap from no one but this is a good man and I love him and want to marry him. I am just curious if anyone has any tips to ... help him be less lazy? I don't know if that makes sense.

[ACanthony]

I would not leave him just because he is lazy. You tell us he is a good guy, you love him, and your soul mate- it is troubling that he is lazy but leaving him is not the answer. You could very well meet a guy that takes great care of you, pays for everything, yet you don't have a connection with him or he's just a jerk.

I don't know him or the situation, but perhaps he is just unmotivated. A lot of 'lazy' people really don't choose to be lazy; they are just unmotivated. I am assuming you guys are maybe in your mid to late 20's? That's a very tough age for a man. I'm 27 myself. It's tough because you're at that age where a lot of people around you are establishing their careers. If you don't have much of a career lined up, you will be 'lazy.' I would let him know your concerns and tell him when you both are in a good mood. You certainly can't 'change him' overnight but perhaps you can shed some light on the situation for him. He could very well just be depressed. Good luck