Is it time to let go?!!!!

hoping4best · Nov 28, 2011, 01:50 PM

hello everyone,
i have been talking to this guy for about 6 months now. he told me that he likes me but i told him that i like him just as a friend and would like to continue being friends. he said it was okay with him....but flirted every now and then. then he started becoming distant. at first i didnt notice it much because i'd thought may be he's busy with his new job and thats why he's talking less...but after few days i asked him whats wrong. he said nothing's wrong and he's just busy in office. i said ok.

things didnt improve. then i confronted him again...and this time he said to me that he's been trying to keep some distance because he doesnt want to get hurt. i said to him that he's dear to me and i can understand that he doesnt want to get hurt...but he should give me some time and we both should let chips fall where they may. he sad ok. but things didnt really improve.

since then he's been telling me that he'll give me more time from his busy schedule but he doesnt. and when i complain,he says that i should understand that he is busy and has got work to do. but when he texts me and if im only a little bit late in replying,he starts complaining that its okay if u dont want to talk. blah blah.

another important thing. i KNOW that i get emotionally dependent and clingy. a lot. and i've tried (spoken so) to break things off between us A LOT of times....but each time i got back to him soon after i said so. and he knows that i wouldnt really want to break it off. in my personal view i can be a very annoying person when relationships are concerned

i dont do it on purpose though.may be its my bipolar! (its not diagnosed yet but judging from my frequent mood swings i think it has to be bipolar!).
he says he still likes me and would like to continue friendship with me and that i shouldnt say repeatedly that im leaving. but his actions speak otherwise!! like today....i texted him multiple times in the day time. he didnt reply. i called him and he didnt pick up. i was pissed off. later he called me once and i didnt pick up beacause i was hurt. he didnt even bother to gimme any explanation.

he texted later on and when it took me few minutes to reply back...he started complaining. i was like 'what the hell is this!!!!'

im really disturbed because of this. my gut tells me to leave this guy immediately and to never contact him again! but my heart wants attention from him

what should i do?????? is it time to let go??????????

hoping4best · Nov 28, 2011, 02:24 PM

my mind stays occupied with such thoughts through out the day,and im unable to function properly. i really need to get things straight.

im unable to concentrate on my work!

afterrain · Nov 28, 2011, 05:44 PM

I think the best thing for you to do is to take some time to yourself to really think about what you really want with this person.

Nov 28, 2011, 05:44 PM

I'd say, it is time to let go.

likewater · Nov 28, 2011, 06:20 PM

I agree that it's time to let go, Hoping4best, even you think so according to yoyr pist title last sentence, you just need reassurance

faerie_moon_x · Nov 28, 2011, 06:48 PM

I agree that if you don't want to be involved with him romantically you should not be friends.

Sadly, being friends with someone who pines for you doesn't work out. It is like being strung along. They like you so much, but you don't want them. They are heartbroken. You're just trying to be a good friend. They can't date because maybe you'll change your mind. They can't take the time to heal from the rejection because you're still there. You start feeling rejection because they pull away to heal. See? That's you're whole story.

So, unless you want to try a relationship, I say end it before you both end up being enemies instead.

lad007 · Nov 28, 2011, 07:53 PM

If a guy is really into you, he won't use work as an excuse, or say he is busy.

jamesfoo · Nov 29, 2011, 02:31 AM

so do you actually like him?

hoping4best · Nov 29, 2011, 05:02 AM

Yes, i like him. N i dont know, may be i'd even consider being more than friends with him. I gave him hints. His response wasnt so flattering though.

Perna · Nov 29, 2011, 05:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hoping4best

he says he still likes me and would like to continue friendship with me and that i shouldnt say repeatedly that im leaving. but his actions speak otherwise!! like today....i texted him multiple times in the day time. he didnt reply. i called him and he didnt pick up. i was pissed off. later he called me once and i didnt pick up beacause i was hurt. he didnt even bother to gimme any explanation.

Okay, if you want to have any sort of relationship, even just friendship, you have to quit playing games. Call or text him once. Other people aren't there to cater to us and our moods and friends don't have to explain that they are busy or don't want to talk right now, etc. You are not treating him with respect, texting him over and over and calling him and then not answering when he does call you.

hoping4best · Nov 29, 2011, 08:42 AM

@perna: he is doing the same. If i dont contact him myself (which is hard), he starts complaining. N whn i do, he disappears suddenly. That is also not the right thing to do.

afterrain · Nov 29, 2011, 10:03 PM

If you really do like him and want to have something more than a friendship, maybe you should say something to him. I agree with Perna, do not play games with your friend. Just be honest with him on how you feel and see what will happens after that.