online dating...

So, I just wanted opinions on online dating...is it a good thing, bad thing, mixed just like every other kind of dating...

I'm nervous about trying again after so long on my own...

Caution is the word. I think there are some reputable sites now and you always take your chances. And of course if you do find someone you NEVER meet them privately. You go with a friend to a library, a restaurant, etc. ...anything thats public.Have the friend sit within viewing distance, and never leave with that person no matter what his story is.......people are not what they seem........If you have their real name you do a background check etc. When you meet them you ask to see their drivers license athought that can be made up you know.....Do your research...like I mentioned...background check, friends, anything...better safe then sorry. Never take their word for anything until you know that they are who they say they are!

Good luck!!

never tryed it,

Hi ocd5mom,

I am an ex internet dater.

It did me so much good initially just being on-line - my self esteem was rock bottom and I gradually gained confidence in just chatting on-line. I did come across people who I think were just looking for extra maritial activity, but in the end they become easier to spot (usually they don't have a profile picture), but I also came across so really nice people.

I only met up with a few and never had any bad experiences. I would just always make sure you meet in a crowded place, let someone know where you are going etc, etc. Top tip would be to just arrange to meet for a quick coffee, then if you don't hit it off you don't have to grin and bear it for hours - if you do like each other then you can always stay longer.

Also definitely trust your instinct, if it doesn't feel right, don't agree to meet.

So in answer to your questions, my experiences were mixed, but I had some good times and don't regret it.

Soup

I met my bf through an online dating site and we have been together almost a year now. I met him in a public place, I let my friends/roommates at the time know where I was and who I was going to be with when we first met in person for a date. We talked for almost 3 weeks before I agreed to met him in person, he never pushed me and we both agreed to met in a public place. The biggest thing is to be strong about your boundaries and trust your instincts!

Thank you so much, its helped hearing some outside advice. I don't get out much, so I thought this might be a good way to meet people and maybe get my toes wet just a little....without letting anyone meet my baby girl.....

I say go for it....You have nothing to loose...If I was single and looking, I would keep all of my options open...Just be careful....I would take more precaution when doing online dating...From what I hear, the online dating thing doesn't sound too bad...Marriage statistics for those who meet online is pretty good....You never know girl! Your HUSBAND may be online! Good luck!

These rules should apply for both online AND offline dating...There are crazies EVERYWHERE....

I know of three different couples who met through Match.com and then married, so something about it must work. My sister used it and dated a man who really has turned into a really good friend, not a romance but she's enjoys his company as a friend. I've never done it myself though. Just follow common sense precautions. Use a service with a solid reputation (Craigslist, for instance, would be a horrible idea.)

It never worked for me....and I tried so many different sites....sorry....I can't give you a good review

I've met several guys online--good enough guys to date for six months or so. I'm all about meeting people in person relatively quickly--I'm too old to waste time with back and forth chatting and then meeting the person and there's absolutely no attraction. I give them minimal information, meet them at a public place and let a couple girlfriends know who I'm meeting where and when.

I explain at the beginning of the date that after an hour, either of us can walk away from the date. OMG I DON'T WANT TO LISTEN TO SOME GUY DRONE ON ABOUT THE DETAILS OF HIS FATHER'S DEATH FOR TWO HOURS EVER AGAIN. seriously, that happened and that's where I get my one hour rule from. anyway, a couple of my dates ended up being so fun that we passed the one hour mark without either of us knowing it. I met a guy about a year ago who was nice enough but bored me to tears. I told him I didn't see anything happening with us and he BEGGED me to go out with him again, which I didn't. I must admit, that was a bit of an ego boost and I wasn't being mean, just honest. all in all, I've had good experiences even in those cases where I told them bluntly I wasn't interested. they've always taken my honesty very well.

yes, I've met a couple kooks but nothing too odd. just be careful about who you choose. oh, I met one bf on Chemistry, a couple on Match and had a couple kooky dates from OK Cupid (that site's free so that may explain the lower quality people if they're not willing to pay to play). good luck!

I don't know anyone single who is NOT online "dating"; it seems to be almost the norm these days...I had good success. One date in particular lasted the entire day and night then a summer (not a "hook-up"). In a rural area, Match dot com has been a godsend to many people, especially where venues for meeting people is more limited.

Common sense applies in all situations, regardless of whether you met the guy online or otherwise. Don't give out any personal info until you've had a few dates. After that, proceed as you would with any other guy you're seeing. Don't sweat it. Let's face it, whether you met him online or at a social function somewhere, anyone can misrepresent themselves (even if it is not malicious or intentional) and it will take a little time to know if they are for real. If you like him, it's obviously worth your while to find out what is fact and what is fiction. Enjoy your online dating, stick to the rules you already know.

It's more or less the same as real dating except the initial meet is on-line and nobody you know knows this person.

A good idea is to have a 'safe call' when you first go to the other person's house, and/or let your date know that people know where you are.

No reason it shouldn't work.

What was so boring about him?

I have met some nice people .My ex boss met his new wife they have been married a few years now.Guess it works. I have a funny story first time I got on There were no matches for me in the whole USA so guess I need to go international! I found that rather humorous. Really don't think I am that bad of a person. What next new universe?

As everyone else has said, just be careful and pay attention to your insticts. I mostly had very good experiences but did go out on two dates with someone later convicted of date rape (spiking his dates' drinks). He did not do this to me (we were out in public and, both times, people I knew were in the bar and around us at all times) but he did this to several women who left their drinks to use the restroom...so, even with non-online dating or just going out in general, always guard your drink. I hate to sound paranoid but think it's just good practice these days.

Okay...so mixed reviews....lol, but an honest one at least. I'm so nervous about trying this again its unbelievable. I have looked at reviews and statistics for each of the cites that I have looked at...so I'm at least marginally well informed....I guess I'm just very nervous and feel out of my depth, which is very hard for me to admit. I'm also worried I guess because I have been alone and independent for so long that I'm stuck in my ways and no man is going to want me. I'm not inflexible or unwilling to bend and communicate and be "with" someone, as a couple, but I'm still worried....okay, now I'm sounding like a desperate person.

my opinion:

be REALLY careful. make sure you meet the person fairly quickly so you can weed out the serious from the people that just want a "pen pal". meet in a public place, make sure you know what the person looks like and i would HIGHLY recommend speaking with them on the phone at least once to get a sense of what kind of person they are and if you really want to meet them.

Well, it could have been my age...late 40's, early 50's. My experiences were really disastrous...I mean awful, and this is from having several "long term" relationships, in which I eventually found out (before losing everything to my name) how corrupt the fellas were. Each one took substantial time from which to recover, regain my ability to trust, and then eventually to realize I'm better off alone. I know of younger people who seem to have better experiences, even success finding a soulmate and loving partner. My experiences were nightmarish and horrific!

I've met up with 2 different guys....both went well and the dates lasted several hours. First guy liked me (I did not, and he had bad hygiene), I really liked the second guy (but never heard from him again). I told someone where I was going both times, and both dates were in public.

I decided to give this a shot, but I'm still so nervous....I guess its normal after being alone for so long though....who knows, maybe this will work but even if it doesn't at least I'm making an effort to get "my feet wet" so to speak.

Well I dont know about talking to someone you've never met before, but in my prospeticve, I knew my boyfriend from online then got to know each other very well, met each other and then it went well. Yet there has been many successes with other people - but now after 4 years he wont talk to me much, it's like a long distance relationship and he says he still loves me but recently i asked him "do you love me" and he said - yes, so I made him say it and he said "ill say it when i want to" meaning he doesnt realy. It's quite sad how things turn out, but i really dontk now what to do But i guess online or not online relationships have their ups and down's and you'll meet someone when the time is right. xx

Hi ocdmom, I have been widowed for a number of years and have used unpaid and paid
sites. I would say be very careful of scammers. These are the ones that declare that
they are madly in love with you immediately and want your home email address. I had one hack my email and likely looking for identity theft. They are common on the free sites.

I find on-line sometimes very cold; a lot of the guys are just looking to score, and have been on there for years and years. On the other hand, I have met a few fellows that are pretty decent. Good luck to you; but be very careful.

I met my husband on okcupid.com. we're been together for 7 years, married 3. we talked about 3 weeks before we met up, and of course it was in a public place. I still remember our first date, b/c he looked like a total nerd. I thought it was funny, and still do.

I met others before him from online, but nothing ever worked out with them, they were mostly losers, or wanted to do weird stuff....

I met someone online a few years ago. It wasn't a dating site, it was actually just a community chat type of thing. We liked each other and planned on meeting but unfortunately it didn't work out. I met another person and we decided to meet up. I had my doubts about it but I also wanted to meet. We met at a very public place and I let my friend know where I was going and texted her every so often to let her know where I was. We had a great time. We never dated but we are good friends. It's definitely something to think about carefully and if you have any serious doubts, it's probably better not to go through with it. Know the risks and be prepared. You might just be surprised and have a good time.