[MarcyCJ]

I have scars all over me. I used to pick on myself almost unconsciously when I was stressed out, so I have little marks all over me, especially on my face arms and breasts. All of this is a part of my depression, and I have since stopped, now that I have been taking medication. I went to a doctor a few months ago and he said that the scars would fade but they would still be visible. At first I didn’t care but these last few months I have started feeling extremely depressed at some point in time everyday. I keep on thinking “no guy is going to want you now; you just blew your chances of getting married”. I am average looking and have an average body, but the scars are noticeable, no matter what (they aren´t overwhelming).
Now that these thoughts keep coming to my head, I feel more and more depressed. I know obviously love isn’t based on looks, but how in the world will a guy give me a chance when what they will first notice is the scars? I am not beautiful and I do not have a hot body so, and let’s face it that is the first thing that would get a guy’s attention. I don´t flirt or casually hook up with random guys…I don’t even know where I´m going with this or what I am asking for by posting this. I’m just trying to get the anxiety out I think.
Any comments or suggestions are welcome.

[mazing]

Sometimes just getting it out can help. I think that as hard as it is, try not to worry about it too much. When you find someone who trully cares and is worth your love they will not mind and love you no matter what.

You have not blown your chances Yes, scars can be confronting but I can assure you that they don't scare off every guy.

[shezbut]

Have you been seeing a counselor to discuss the stress in your everyday life? That would help to let those emotions out. Writing about the things can also be very therapeutic and helpful. Because then, you don't have to carry those thoughts on your mind anymore. It really does help! (imho)

Personally, my skin used to be perfect as a teenager. I was SO lucky! Then, around age 21, acne rosacea began for me. I wasn't diagnosed or treated until age 30 or so though. The effect is that my skin is permanently reddened and has some scars. Despite my imperfections and huge hypersensitivity to them, men are still attracted to me. Don't worry, people do look beyond the skin a lot of times. You will see.

Best wishes to you ~ do check into seeing a therapist though. K?

[IceCreamKid]

I'm glad you are feeling better now. The scars will fade. I have some scars and they have faded. Men who are only attracted to great looks are not the ones you want to date or keep. I encourage you to hold out for a man of inner value, who will love you for your inner value.

[LazyLogophile]

I don't want to encourage you to obsess about your scars or anything, but here is a link to some natural remedies to help your skin rejuvenate and maybe the act of taking care of the scars on the outside will help the internal scars heal as well.

http://www.scarsoff.com/natural-scar-remedies/

I have adult acne, which tends to flare up around my monthly. I also have stretch marks from having a baby. Exfoliating in the shower and putting vitamin E lotion on can help as well. The scars will still be there, but it helps reduce them a bit and just the act of DOING something helps me cope with them a little easier.

Hope this helps. As a side note, you will still find love no matter what you look like. Just do things that make you feel good, and your inner beauty will shine brighter than any "hotness" you could ever possess on the outside. Besides, guys who want hot bodies are just looking to get laid, so you don't need them anyway! :-)

"Beautiful and Ugly were at the beach one day. Both decided to take their clothes off and go for a swim. When they were done, they found the other's clothes and put them on. Since then, man has had a hard time identifying Beautiful and Ugly."
- My Dad

[LylaJean]

I've had severe rosacea since I was around 12, and while I was always so uncomfortable with it, no guy ever cared at all!! It's pretty bad too, the left side of my face is bright red from the apple of my cheek down to my jaw. The right side isn't as bad. (I almost wish it were, just so I'd be symmetrical!!) My grandmother is a judgemental type and she used to take me shopping for remedies to get rid of my "condition" as she called it. Ha! I even used to put visine in my makeup to try to reduce the redness!! But honestly, who cares? My husband doesn't notice if I wear heavy makeup to cover it up or if I have no makeup at all. I mean, sometimes I think he wouldn't notice if I dyed my hair black. (I've always been blonde) But he sure notices when I don't have a smile on my face. I think that's all that matters to good men. If you can be happy and confident, you're sexy no matter what you look like.

[Brokenjewellery]

If somebody cares about that then you don't want them in your life. How shallow they would be! And I bet you are beautiful everytime you smile
Don't ever let these scars bring you down. They are part of your past. It's 2012 look to the future and keep a lovely smile on your beautiful face xkim

[Perna]

You cannot notice what another person will notice about you and what they prefer is their own preferences, not based on you! I'm a brunette and once my husband mentioned he would have liked a blonde But he actually loves and desires "Me", not a hair coloring and my body is large, saggy :-) covered in scars, bruises, varicose veins, etc.

Get to know yourself and your body; thank your body for being there for you to help you with your stresses, accepting the cutting and scarring and not getting infected but healing itself for you. If you had a loved one who was scarred by an accident, burned in a fire, etc. you would not love them any less because they were scarred -- be that loved one for yourself.

[MarcyCJ]

Originally Posted by Brokenjewellery

If somebody cares about that then you don't want them in your life. How shallow they would be! And I bet you are beautiful everytime you smile
Don't ever let these scars bring you down. They are part of your past. It's 2012 look to the future and keep a lovely smile on your beautiful face xkim

Yes, even though I know that it is not the outside that counts, it is a well known fact that men tend to look at the outside first and then determine wether the person is worth it or not.
Or maybe that is just where I live.
I have many guy friends, and they are one of the nicest people I know but I have yet to know any guy that hasn't determined getting to know a girl based on her appearance. Usually some will say (when we hang out and they start talking about dates) "yeah she is really nice, but..." and then say something about that girls appearance and how that ruins it for them.
:/

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by MarcyCJ

Yes, even though I know that it is not the outside that counts, it is a well known fact that men tend to look at the outside first and then determine wether the person is worth it or not.
Or maybe that is just where I live.
I have many guy friends, and they are one of the nicest people I know but I have yet to know any guy that hasn't determined getting to know a girl based on her appearance. Usually some will say (when we hang out and they start talking about dates) "yeah she is really nice, but..." and then say something about that girls appearance and how that ruins it for them.
:/

Hi. Have you thought of sharing your concerns with the most sensitive of your men friends and asking him what he thinks you could do to be more attractive to men? I wanted to share this with you, too: this is only my opinion, but it is a sincere one. There is a world famous supermodel who has been famous maybe the last 20 years, maybe more. She still has a nice athletic figure. But here is what I don't get. I never thought she had the most fantastic figure, and I thought she had a plain face. I would hear people (she was particularly popular with men) rave about how gorgeous she was and I'd think "are they kidding?!?!?!?!?!" She does have an engaging smile and an attitude of friendliness. But I have seen a lot of women more beautiful and with better figures.

[MarcyCJ]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

Hi. Have you thought of sharing your concerns with the most sensitive of your men friends and asking him what he thinks you could do to be more attractive to men? I wanted to share this with you, too: this is only my opinion, but it is a sincere one. There is a world famous supermodel who has been famous maybe the last 20 years, maybe more. She still has a nice athletic figure. But here is what I don't get. I never thought she had the most fantastic figure, and I thought she had a plain face. I would hear people (she was particularly popular with men) rave about how gorgeous she was and I'd think "are they kidding?!?!?!?!?!" She does have an engaging smile and an attitude of friendliness. But I have seen a lot of women more beautiful and with better figures.

I have shared my concerns with a few of them, and they say that they would be alarmed at the fact that it is scars related to depression more than anything. They are very honest with me and say that since we grew up together, the scars are sort of forgotten, but that any average guy will mentally raise a red flag once he finds out that these scars are linked to depression, and how that detail is what would probably make it harder for them because that would be a visual reminder that there is something wrong.