So somplelely fooled and dead inside from being used by the only man i ever loved!

This had been one of the hardest days of my life and i have finally realised that i meant absoloutely nothing at all to him.

I have not spoken to my ex for a month, not including the text i got just over two weeks ago. My ex responded a month ago to my many mesages saying that he was messed up and needed time for himself and that it was not me, but him and that he still loved me. I left him a chistmas present in his mailbox, he does not live there, but is at his parents house which is out of town. The present was gone, though his estranged wife could have got it. He did not tell me he got the present or anything.

Anyway two weeks ago he did respond to a message i sent which asked him how he went at court, to which he replied thanks for the luck today, and am now able to see the kids through supervised visits, thanks again.

I thought that i was giving him space and that he might come back to me as he had in the past, but now i see how wrong i was.

Today i see his car with his wife sitting in it, well technically it is her car, but he gave her his car as it was bigger and he was using this one.
Last time i heard he was not allowed to see her or contact her at all and was not allowed within 200 meters of her. He was facing charges for breaking the AVO that was in place before, and resisting police arrest and driving recklessly, so unless within 2 weeks he is now allowed to see her and considering it was christmas and i do not see how the police would drop the case and court would have not been in session than they are both breaking the AVO.
You can read my other posts about him if you want more background.

That not really the problem, but after seeing her and though i did not see him there is no other explanation. I just feel so stypid and embrassed as for some reason i love him so much and i was holding out hope that i would hear from him again, but now i realise the truth he never loved me at all, he hates me and would not even give me closure and tell me the truth. They are both laughing at me and it makes me sick, there laughing at everyone.

So i guess you can cheat on someone, threaten to kill then, actually try, but stop yourself, run your wife and your children off the road and still end up with the girl and absoloutely no consequences. You can use some other girl and fill her head with lies, and make her still hope by not giving her full closure just to get your kicks, make her fall so completly in love with you and then throw her away like a piece of garbage, you can escape all accountability from the law and from your family and rip someone elses heart out and kill there soul!!!! But still your life will tun out GREAT!!!! YOUR MARRIAGE WILL BE BETTER THAN BEFORE

What is worse is I thought i knew this person, but i was so wrong about there character and now he gets everything he wants and i have to have her smug grin in my head everytime i close my eyes, saying i won and we are together and have out witted everyone, the police, his parents and especially you, as there i was feeling sorry for him and worried about him, fool for me, as i belived he would secretly come back like all the other times.

I mean i got home today and wrote my suicide letter, as i cannot take the pain of lfe anymore i am too soft inside and i hurt to easy, what i did was wrong when i got involved with him that he separted wo days ate, maybe it would be better if i died then i can recieve my punishment for what i did,

I dont know much about relationships and considering he can do what he did to her, then i guess they love one another alot.

Please PLEASE do not even consider that suicide thingy. I tried it long ago ... and still have not been forgiven for it.
Hang in there Lexie86 ... you deserve so much better.
This awful feeling WILL pass ... trust me!
Hang in there!

I am confused. Because they traded cars in the past you are assuming that was permanent and neither car can break down or need to be swapped back, etc.? They're cars! If he is using "this" one, he should be in it? I don't know where you saw her and if she was in driver or passenger side but she could have her own new boyfriend and he was getting something.

If he gets to see his kids now because the courts say so, it is quite probable he can see/be in contact with the wife as she has the kids and going through a third party could be costly or, the "supervision" could be through the wife being there too. If you do not know all that went down, have not been in contact with him to know completely what is going on with him, I don't know that I would jump to the conclusion that he is back with his wife, is "cheating" on you?

Why punish yourself? He sounds like a jerk and your only problem is that you loved too much. Please don't hurt yourself -- there are other fish in the lake and you deserve and can find someone who is not so dysfunctional and dangerous on top of it. Be good to yourself

She was in the passenger seat, so if its his car then the only explanation is that she was waiting for him. And she still has his car as well, so they did not swap. i know i did not see him, but i cant think of anything else. It hurts so bad to be lied to and used and treated like i meant nothing at all.

It is offficial, i cant stand having to live so close to her, as everynight she sneaks off at the same time, leaving the kids alone and probably goes to meet up with him. If they were allowed contact then he would be there all the time, and i highly doubt the court would allow that to happen again. Im so sick, why couldnt he just give me full closure and tell em the truth.

Don't do anything stupid. Talk to someone in RL, like a therapist, a friend, or family!
Hold out!

Also, I think you should stop watching his ex/wife? I don't think it's healthy, and it will only make you feel worse. Right now you need to heal, and this is counterproductive. Don't make this harder for yourself.

As someone who had a court restraining order I can tell you that the court will only enforce the order if there is a complaint from the wife. My BF has a restraining order but after he went through drug detox we started living together again. We were both in violation of the order but the court doesn't go looking for that kind of stuff.

It sounds as though he was not honest with you on several levels. It may hurt now but most likely you are better off without him.

Let. It. Go...Why would you want to be with someone that did all of the things that he did to his ex and kids? Let it go...You were the rebound...Let it go...These two, your ex and his ex wife, have nothing but drama going on...Why are you thinking about ending your life over this douche? Cry it out and move on...Dude tried to run not only his wife BUT ALSO HIS kids off the road? Really? Wow...What a winner...Let him go...

I agree with Irreplaceable. I read your other thread about him trying to run his ex off the road. This man is potentially a danger to women. If he did this to his ex, he's will likely do this to you or anyone if he's mad. He wasn't ready for another relationship and still had a lot of unsettled issues with his ex. Look at his history....this isn't a good man to pick and don't think you will have better results just because you feel love for him. He wasn't completely yours from the start. If I were you I would thanks my lucky stars they're back together so he won't be able to ruin your life or run you off the road. I'm sorry you're disappointed but you'll find better.

Thanks everyone, I dont really know anything conclusive and it could be my imagination is running away from me. I live practically next door to his ex so it is hard, and i saw her in his car by accident and granted i did not see him and i dont know if she does go to meet him at night, but she does go somewhere and does leave the kids. Yes agreed you can break an AVO whenever you want because unless they report it there is nothing they can do. The first AVO that was in place was admended so he could see her and the kids, but once she called the police after he ran her off the road it became a little different. Plus by seeing her would breach his bail conditions and if caught i think this would be bad for him. plus why sneak around as you said he could just go to the house if that is what she wants as she is not going to report it, though that would mean making up an excuse to his parents to go into town, i dont know it does not make sence at all, as she drove past his place once i was at the park with friends and if she had been to see him why would she drive past his shed which is out of her way coming back from his parents.

I really do not know what is going on could be nothing and could be something, but either way it does not matter as im not apart of his life anymore.

I know for his actions he does recieve some sort of punishment and in fairness should have supervised visitations with his kids. I do not know anyone who truely would be able to forgive someone for the actions he has done to her and be able to look at them with love in the hearts and have a happy relationship, sometimes our emotions get the best of us and we make terrible choices as i have done. I have seen good in his heart, and bad.

it is just time to move on, and it is killing me inside as it is sad.