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#1
Feb 02, 2002, 12:05 PM
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I just got out of a marriage over a year ago where we fought all the time. He worked Mon-Fri and was off on the weekends. There was not one weekend that went by where we didn't fight. I thought it was just because I enjoyed the time alone and I dreaded the time when he would be with me all the time.
Anyway, now I am in a healthy loving relationship for about 4 months now. Things can be going good and everything is fine, but I will just start a fight over something. Its like I can't just let myself be happy and enjoy life. I have to start conflict to make things exciting. And when we are in the heat of a fight, I can't just stop and say, "No, lets just stop fighting and sit here and hold each other." Those are the thoughts my mind is saying, and I can't just say them out loud. I am not sure how long my boyfriend will stick around and put up with me, but he is the kind of person that will do anything to keep me. That is a whole nother story I might go into later, but for now I want help with this one. I am not sure if I am just used to fighting all the time, I have no idea. But I do know I just want to relaxe and enjoy life. When I think I did to do that, something happens and before I know it we are in different rooms in the middle of a fight What needs to be done here? Help...
__________________
[orange] "Give your problems to God, He will be up all night anyway." [/orange] |
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#2
Feb 06, 2002, 09:42 AM
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I don't know what your fights are about but if you bring up things that are troubling you I don't see anything wrong with that. Especially if it's important to you and the relationship. However, there may be better ways to bring up these things and there are new skills you can use. It's called assertiveness and there are courses and books on it. It's a way of communicating effectively without stepping on toes. Hope you'll stop back. CQ
<font color=red>"The soul should always stand ajar, ready to welcome the ecstatic experience." Emily Dickenson</font color=red> |
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#3
Feb 06, 2002, 10:09 AM
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Thanks CQ. I will look into being more assertive and see where that gets me.
<font color=orange> text </font color=orange> "Give your problems to God, He will be up all night anywa."
__________________
[orange] "Give your problems to God, He will be up all night anyway." [/orange] |
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