Newest Realization

There's this guy at work I've been sort of interested in for awhile now, and recently things started heading in the right direction. We made plans for him to stop over after work one day. I was looking forward to it all week, then that day came and I noticed I was being very short with several coworkers (not him), very defensive, and just generally grumpy, like I was trying to push everyone away. It's not the first time I've done this, but it is the first time I've connected the cause and effect. I'm not sure why I do this, but I wonder if it might be because I'm either embarrassed that people might say something it or if it's because I'm slightly panicked/anxious or if its something else. Anyone else do this? As soon as I realized what was happening, I apologized and tried to stop acting this way. I've posted previously about being afraid of intimacy/having social anxiety and I assume this is related, but I'm trying to connect some dots here. We had a good time when he came over (at least I thought so, and he's been talking to me since then), watched a movie. Our relationship is still at the friendship level, but I do find him attractive and hope it could develop into something more in the future. But that's besides the point.

Hey there Chipper.

I don't think it'd be unusual at all to be a little grumpy if you were anxious or nervous about your evening with this guy. It's rather normal to be short or a little grouchy if you're nervous. If I were you, I'd just try to realize when it's happening and rein myself in. You recognizing the cause is a great start to that.

I hope I was of some help, and I wish you the best with your friend.

Hi ~ Like Harley said, I think it's great that you realized what was happening, and tried to put a stop to it, and apologized for it. Not everyone would take responsibility for that. That was a very mature way to handle things!

I doubt you'll have much trouble with it now that you've recognized that it could happen again. It's pretty normal -- we ALL get edgy when something special is going on and we don't want it to get messed up in any way. So don't sweat it.

I wish you the very best in your new relationship. I hope things go well. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

Thanks guys for the reassurances! It helps a lot. I've been trying to identify all the different thoughs/feelings/actions I have that are related to my anxiety so I can try to change my reactions to them, so this is a good start.