[nostalgic4her]

I have a difficult social life, I'm shy, I have no friends, and the only people I know are my parents. I have no doubts I am the most loneliest person on this Earth. I'm almost 23 and have never been in a relationship with a girl, and I'm terribly sad when I see other people so happy. I need somebody.

A year ago I had quit my job for way too many reasons to explain, throwing freight at a grocery store for 2 years tired me physically and mentally. I have been sitting at home with my parents ever since, paying what rent that I can, thinking about my future. I know deep in my heart that I have huge college potential with computers, but I have no idea where my skills would come in handy most. There are just so many areas of study and college requirements often overwhelm me. Everybody in High School seemed to know exactly who they wanted to become when they grew up, why not me? Every day that passes is a moment that I could be helping myself. I will need another job before college, but I first need a goal.

I want to see a doctor because I have OCD problems, but I have no idea which doctor I should seek. Not only that, I have no idea where to find the cost, or what insurance will help. I have a terrible understanding of insurance, it all seems so complicated and complex; so many numbers and figures. How do adults make it in a difficult world like this? It shouldn't be so damn hard. I randomly looked around at the unofficial cost of a mental health counselor, and found it is 80$ for an hour session per visit, which is completely and utterly ridiculous. I could go to a doctor all day long, but not even they will help me financially.

I have went to God for many of my problems, asking him to give me direction and guidance, but he never seems to answer because I never have any reason to leave the house. My parents tell me all the time, "God helps those who helps themselves", but I have difficulty swallowing this. They just don't understand, I have a unique situation on my hands. How can I help myself when I don't know how to help myself?

I am so disappointed with my life, I feel there is no one around to help me. I could scream all day long, and not even God himself will hear my plea.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by nostalgic4her

I have a difficult social life, I'm shy, I have no friends, and the only people I know are my parents. I have no doubts I am the most loneliest person on this Earth. I'm almost 23 and have never been in a relationship with a girl, and I'm terribly sad when I see other people so happy. I need somebody.

A year ago I had quit my job for way too many reasons to explain, and I have been sitting at home with my parents ever since, paying what rent that I can, thinking about my future. I know deep in my heart I have huge college potential in computers, but I have no idea where my skills would come in handy most. There are just so many areas of study. Everybody in High School seemed to know exactly who they wanted to become when they grew up, why not me? Every day that passes is a moment that I could be helping my career. What I do know about college is that there are so many requirements, and often times I am overwhelmed by the thought.

I want to see a doctor because I have OCD problems, but I have no idea which doctor I should seek. Not only that, I have no idea where to find the cost, or what insurance will help. I have a terrible understanding of insurance, it all seems so complicated and complex; so many numbers and figures. How do adults make it in a difficult world like this? It shouldn't be so damn hard. I randomly looked around at the unofficial cost of a mental health professional, and found it is 80$ for an hour session per visit, which is completely and utterly ridiculous. I could go to a doctor all day long, but not even they will help me financially.

I have went to God for many of my problems, asking him to give me direction and guidance, but he never seems to answer because I never have any reason to leave the house. My parents tell me all the time, "God helps those who helps themselves", but I have difficulty swallowing this. They just don't understand, I have a unique situation on my hands. How can I help myself when I don't know how to help myself?

I am so disappointed with my life, I feel there is no one around to help me. I could scream all day long, and not even God himself will hear my plea.

Maybe I can help you a little bit and there are others who can add their ideas, too. Insurance is confusing, but if you are insured, then there is usually a toll-free number on the back of your insurance card that you can call with questions, for example "I would like to know if psychological counseling is covered by my policy and what the copay would be." You may still be insured through your parents. If you have no insurance, you can look for a place that offers low cost or sliding scale fees. About college: many, many people go to college not sure of what they want for a major. Many change their majors one or more times before graduation. College should be a time of academic exploration as well as concentration. If you are interested in computers, that is enough to start taking your first class, which might be something like "Introduction to Computers." If you want to meet people, including a potential girlfriend, you can get involved in volunteer activities. Courage!

[Leed]

Hi ~ Bless your heart, you're totally overwhelmed, and I understand. There was a time I felt just like you.

Before you even consider college, you need to see a therapist. Just like "Icecreamkid" said, if you have insurance call the toll free number on the back of your insurance card, and speak with someone about what coverage you have. Ask them if you have mental health coverage, and if you do, ask them how much you have and what the copayments are. Then ask them what participating doctors you can go to. They will give you a list of doctors in your area that you can see -- then you can call one of them for an appointment.

Therapy is the best idea for you. They will help you increase you self-esteem -- to get it back. For some reason, you don't have much. They'll help you with your shyness, and any other problems. Believe me, I've been thru therapy and it's WONDERFUL!! It really does make a huge difference in your life, if you get a good therapist! If you find that one therapist isn't quite right for you, you can always switch to another. But don't give up on therapy.

I wish you the very best. It's a grand life out there, and it WILL be for you too! God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

[nostalgic4her]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

Maybe I can help you a little bit and there are others who can add their ideas, too. Insurance is confusing, but if you are insured, then there is usually a toll-free number on the back of your insurance card that you can call with questions, for example "I would like to know if psychological counseling is covered by my policy and what the copay would be." You may still be insured through your parents. If you have no insurance, you can look for a place that offers low cost or sliding scale fees. About college: many, many people go to college not sure of what they want for a major. Many change their majors one or more times before graduation. College should be a time of academic exploration as well as concentration. If you are interested in computers, that is enough to start taking your first class, which might be something like "Introduction to Computers." If you want to meet people, including a potential girlfriend, you can get involved in volunteer activities. Courage!

I know the number you speak of, however I will have to somehow muster up the courage to call it. Some companies like to get technical and use terminology that tends to fly over my head. As for volunteering, I don't know.. I'm just not a volunteering type of person. If anything, I need people volunteering to help me. At this point in my life, I just don't have the heart to help, not when I can't help myself.

Originally Posted by Leed

Hi ~ Bless your heart, you're totally overwhelmed, and I understand. There was a time I felt just like you.

Before you even consider college, you need to see a therapist. Just like "Icecreamkid" said, if you have insurance call the toll free number on the back of your insurance card, and speak with someone about what coverage you have. Ask them if you have mental health coverage, and if you do, ask them how much you have and what the copayments are. Then ask them what participating doctors you can go to. They will give you a list of doctors in your area that you can see -- then you can call one of them for an appointment.

Therapy is the best idea for you. They will help you increase you self-esteem -- to get it back. For some reason, you don't have much. They'll help you with your shyness, and any other problems. Believe me, I've been thru therapy and it's WONDERFUL!! It really does make a huge difference in your life, if you get a good therapist! If you find that one therapist isn't quite right for you, you can always switch to another. But don't give up on therapy.

I wish you the very best. It's a grand life out there, and it WILL be for you too! God bless you and take care. Hugs, Lee

You're right, my self-esteem is pretty shot, however there are times where I feel great and my self-esteem is really high. And while a therapist is an idea worth looking into, I have trouble speaking to strangers when they will only do it for money. I need hour(s), not just an hour, to get things off my chest.

What I really feel I need, is a friend. I've never had more than 2 friends in my life at a time. The people I have befriended have always taken advantage of me, have moved on, or have found better things to do. Not only does time do a lot to my relationships, I also have interests that some people don't really see eye-to-eye with me on; I like japanese music, I love to watch old movies, and I prefer relaxing at home over going out and doing things in public. I like to be out in public, doing normal people things like shopping, just.. not every single week.

[vivi whatfor]

you just do the thinking a lot, being outside, find a new job or make a new friend, do something that you like to do, seriously, most of the people didn't figure out what they really want to be in their lives, not to mention you, such a young guy. If you really need a friend not a therapist, I am a good listener.

[essexgirl]

Hi there, i understand your frustration and feel for you. I hope that
you find something you enjoy doing and that you are able to find the
right direction.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by nostalgic4her

I know the number you speak of, however I will have to somehow muster up the courage to call it. Some companies like to get technical and use terminology that tends to fly over my head. As for volunteering, I don't know.. I'm just not a volunteering type of person. If anything, I need people volunteering to help me. At this point in my life, I just don't have the heart to help, not when I can't help myself.

You're right, my self-esteem is pretty shot, however there are times where I feel great and my self-esteem is really high. And while a therapist is an idea worth looking into, I have trouble speaking to strangers when they will only do it for money. I need hour(s), not just an hour, to get things off my chest.

What I really feel I need, is a friend. I've never had more than 2 friends in my life at a time. The people I have befriended have always taken advantage of me, have moved on, or have found better things to do. Not only does time do a lot to my relationships, I also have interests that some people don't really see eye-to-eye with me on; I like japanese music, I love to watch old movies, and I prefer relaxing at home over going out and doing things in public. I like to be out in public, doing normal people things like shopping, just.. not every single week.

You might not have noticed I volunteered to help you by answering your post; so I think a lot about volunteers and volunteering. I believe volunteering is a win-win situation. Your comment "And while a therapist is an idea worth looking into, I have trouble speaking to strangers when they will only do it for money" is insulting to the considerable time and effort good hearted people put into becoming counselors and therapists. They charge for their services because it is a full-time occupation and therapists have to live, too. Many professionals do a certain amount of pro bono work; they just might not advertise it. You might want to look into an online dating service; where you can plug in your interests and find local singles in your area.

[manwhocantbemoved]

hello friend I completely understand what you mean it all seems overwhelming and at times it surely will but college is most definately a good option you seem like an intelligent person and the shouldnt be wasted at all perhaps you will want to see a therapist but as previously stated they can cost money but if you ever need a friend send me a buddy request on here and id be more than happy to lend an ear god bell and best of luck

[nostalgic4her]

Originally Posted by IceCreamKid

You might not have noticed I volunteered to help you by answering your post; so I think a lot about volunteers and volunteering. I believe volunteering is a win-win situation. Your comment "And while a therapist is an idea worth looking into, I have trouble speaking to strangers when they will only do it for money" is insulting to the considerable time and effort good hearted people put into becoming counselors and therapists. They charge for their services because it is a full-time occupation and therapists have to live, too. Many professionals do a certain amount of pro bono work; they just might not advertise it. You might want to look into an online dating service; where you can plug in your interests and find local singles in your area.

It was not meant to insult anyone.. some of us just don't have the money or the heart to let a paid professional deal with our problems. The problem I have with paid professionals mostly lies in being completely cut off from that person due to a lack of funding, which might be a waste of time for someone like me who would prefer investing my thoughts and feelings into someone who will always be there. It's not always about the money, some of the best things in life are free.

Originally Posted by manwhocantbemoved

hello friend I completely understand what you mean it all seems overwhelming and at times it surely will but college is most definately a good option you seem like an intelligent person and the shouldnt be wasted at all perhaps you will want to see a therapist but as previously stated they can cost money but if you ever need a friend send me a buddy request on here and id be more than happy to lend an ear god bell and best of luck

I appreciate a lending hand, I will consider it

Originally Posted by essexgirl

Hi there, i understand your frustration and feel for you. I hope that
you find something you enjoy doing and that you are able to find the
right direction.

Thank you for the kind words

Originally Posted by vivi whatfor

you just do the thinking a lot, being outside, find a new job or make a new friend, do something that you like to do, seriously, most of the people didn't figure out what they really want to be in their lives, not to mention you, such a young guy. If you really need a friend not a therapist, I am a good listener.

I could use a good listener

[Irreplaceable]

I only want to comment on a few things. You are young. You have your life ahead of you. You have prayed but you said he doesn't answer. I believe you either aren't listening to him, or he is giving you your answer in a way besides you hearing his voice. Heck, your message from him could come from someone on here that responds to you. Maybe he is using me. I am a spiritual person. I'm not a bible thumbing sitting in the pew every sunday person, but I have a relationship with Him. And I can recognize when He is speaking to me through someone else. The answers to my questions come through various people. The most startling is when it comes from someone I don't even know. Just listen and you will get your answer.

Don't feel bad about not knowing what you want to do as far as majoring in college. You might not know this, but the majority of the people in this world, they don't even know what they want to do until they get a little older. I don't know too many High School people who said what they wanted to do, and followed through. People change their minds. When I was in college, the people I knew changed majored or didn't even know what they wanted to be.

Moving along. I am a female. And I used to be so timid and shy all throughout school. But when I went away to college, it was a whole other world! I loved it! I came out of my shell, made friends, began to really put myself out there social wise, and I really came into my own. I literally became a whole new person after school. People who I see now that i haven't seen since High School are amazed at how much I have came out of my shell and the person I became.

Don't be scared or shy of people. They are only people. Is it fear of rejection that has you shy? If it is, the worse thing people can do is tell you "no", if they do, keep it moving and you will find someone who thinks the world of you. Step outside of your boundaries. Be open to new things. I really believe that once you go away to college, this will help you. Don't be afraid to start conversations with people, they are only people.

The most important thing I can tell you is this. YOU are what is holding you back. YOU. Your fears, insecurities, worries, it's all you. But the good thing is, it's something that can be changed. Once I freed my mind of my insecurities, being worried about what people think about me, being worried about being rejected, worried what my parents would think of me, I became a new person. I'm so proud of myself because I came a long way.

You can do it. Get out of your parents house and try to meet new people. Socialize.

[alwaysnexteded]

Hi I am alone as well, even when I am surrounded by a room full of people. If you want to talk feel free to contact me.