My Dad...

My dad is suppose to be coming to see me tomorrow. I'm really not looking forward to it. I haven't seen my dad is 2 years. The only reason he's coming to see me is because my mom called him and begged him to. I told her before already that I do not want to see or talk to him ever again. But, she didn't listen to me. She never listens to me.

Ever since I was born, my dad has been in and out of my life. He was never a real father to me. He always treated his other kids better than me. It was like I didn't matter. And I wasn't important or good enough. I desperately wanted a relationship with my dad. But it never worked out the way I wanted it to. I started blaming my mom for it because I always felt like she scared and pushed him away from me. I was so blind back then. Soon I found out that my mom wasn't to blame for my dad and I not having that father-daughter relationship that I always wanted. It was my dads fault. I wasn't a priority to him. I realized that he never cared about me and that he never loved me. Everything he told me was a lie. He has no clue what 13 years of lying did to me mentally. I'm still having a hard time coping with the aftermath of his actions.

I don't know what to do. I'm really anxious about seeing him again after 2 years. My biggest fear is that he's going to hurt me again. If that does happen, I don't know what I'll do. Last time, I got severely depressed. My mom says I should tell him how I feel, but I'm afraid to. I have really bad social anxiety. I just hope the whole visit goes by fast so I don't have to worry about it anymore.

P.S- Sorry about my post. I know it's all over the place and doesn't really make any sense. I'm not even sure what I'm trying to get out of this post. Am I venting? Am I asking for advice? Or both? Either way, thanks for reading.

I'm so sorry about all this. You shouldn't be obligated to see him just bcoz he suddenly has a fit of concience or bcoz your mom said so. Where does your wellbeing fit into this picture? I'm sorry, it just upsets me, my daughter has made it clear she wants nothing to do with her 'father', as young as she is, I've respected her wishes bcoz I saw how his presence upsets her, how she's reminded that he's nothing like her doting uncles, how all those broken promises and forgotten birthdays resurface. I'd never do that to her... (she also HAD a part-time dad). I say if you WANT to see him, give it a chance. If you don't, you don't have to,you certainly don't owe the man anything.
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Take care. Lots of ss to you.

My granddaughter (who lives with me) is 16, and her father is the same way. He has hurt her for years, by not coming when he said he would, by not calling when he said he would, by forgetting birthdays, Christmas, etc. SHE always instigated the contact -- until the last year or so when she said she'd had ENOUGH. So she quit calling, stopped contacting completely.

You should not be afraid to tell him how you feel. What is he going to do? Beat you? I doubt it. You should be allowed to express your feelings regardless of 'who' he is! He's hurt you -- why can't you tell him? He hasn't been very concerned about your feelings before -- you should let him know that! I agree with your Mom -- he NEEDS to take responsibility for what he's done to you! Why should he walk away scott-free? And this way, I doubt you'll feel so depressed again because you let it be KNOWN how you feel instead of keeping it inside to fester. Once you let it out, you'll feel MUCH better. Believe me, I've done it and it does work.

Don't be afraid. You have rights too. You have the right to speak your feelings. There is nothing wrong with that. Don't back down, ok? We'll be right there with you, don't forget that ok? God bless & let us know how it went, will you? Love, Lee

I know I shouldn't be afraid of telling my dad how I feel, but I am. And I don't know why??? Your right, it's not like his going to beat me or anything. So I shouldn't be worried or scared about anything! Ugh, I hate this! Why cant I just tell people how I feel instead of being scared all the time. Maybe I'm worried that I might hurt his feelings or make him mad. But why should I care? He never cared about me or my feelings. My mom said the same thing, ''Don't let him walk away scot-free''. I just need to find the courage to tell him that I don't appreciate the way he's been treating me. Hopefully, I'll find it...

I will try my hardest to not back down. I have to tell him how I feel because I need to get all these feelings off my chest. Thank you, Lee. That's why I'm so glad and thankful that I have you guys at PC. You guys are always there for me. God bless you too and yes, I will let you guys know how it went.

Good for you!! I pray it goes well