He still has his profile up

Make sure you are pretty healed from your previous relationship before moving to the next. Often times people bring their previous relationship woes into the new one when they haven't given themselves time to heal.

He asked me if I'd been meeting other guys, I said no. I said I had been checking his profile. Then he said he'd been getting lots of emails/ interest.

Which tells me he's not the slightest bit interested in you, except as a booty call. He asked you to be exclusive for him, but he has no intention of being exclusive for you. You are a conquest, not a girlfriend. He is a player, not a boyfriend.

I am really annoyed and am feeling pretty depressed right now. If I wanted a booty call I would've joined a sex site, not a dating site.

Don't waste any more of your time GG...

I am so sick to death with seeing everyone else getting married seemingly effortlessly, while I have to go through this BS.

I sympathize. It wasn't effortless for me--this is my 5th marriage. During the time between 4th and 5th, when I was dating, I got offered sex a lot. One man was married and up front about the fact that he was looking for a mistress, not planning to leave his wife. Even though I told him it was a deal-breaker and I wasn't interested, he still offered sex. It's everywhere, but love is hard to find, and I wasn't going to let mere sex be a substitute for it. I finally got to the point where I decided I would not accept another loser in my life. It's not as simple as that, but yes, I think you do have to get to where you just won't put up with it another day. (By the way, I wouldn't have accepted his offer even if he did tell me he was planning to leave his wife. They can lie and say that. Divorce papers in your hand, dude. That's when I'll consider you available.)

When you kick the losers out of your life, that makes room for the winner to come in. Mr. Right doesn't lure a woman away from her relationship. He has no way of knowing she's not happy in it, and no decent man would choose to be the cause of a breakup. So don't be stuck in a bad relationship, thinking it will "do," trying to make it work when it won't, and miss out on the man you don't have to try and "improve." Not easy. Not effortless. But it can happen.

Bluntly put, he only told you what he knew you wanted to hear so that he could get the goods...He got it, now he's done...I don't know how soon you slept with him but he is telling you what he wants from you...Sex...And that's it...Don't try to make someone be with you who doesn't want a relationship...He got the goods, now he is out. You know what I started doing? Making dudes wait...I'm not sleeping with you until x amount of time. They respect you a 1000 times more when you make then wait. I know because I have had more than one guy tell me this. When you give it up too quick, to them you are nothing more than sex.They use you, then move on to the next...It's a game...All a game. Learn how to be emotionless when you deal with certain men like this. Learn to listen and watch his actions...He tells you what he is expecting from you from the very beginning. I always pay attention. If all you want is sex, I will be as emotionless as they come...

Learn to listen to a man when he speaks and interpret his words...Watch his actions...Read his body language...You have to be able to smell/detect the ones who are about BS and the ones that are really about something. This comes with experience. 9 times outta 10, I can pick out the players and the ones who just want to mess around...There were red flags in that original message you wrote....Pay attention to the signs...

You need a BS detector.....& sex is a good one......anyone who wants to have sex before having a long relationship with a person & really getting to know them (& in my belief, sex ONLY a part of marriage). I can guarantee, keeping sex for marriage definitely keeps the low lifes away. If you hold to those values, it sifts out only those who are interested in you for having sex & it makes you feel much better about yourself because you aren't loosing out on any possibilities by holding out, you are only loosing out on the BS that the losers have to offer.

It sounds like you need to work on protecting your boundaries before you get married. If you marry a really nasty guy, he may end up spending all your savings, making you liable for half his debts and live off you for as long as the ****ed up divorce laws will allow him to. Then you'll NEVER get rid of him. If you still have trouble protecting your boundaries and get married anyway, I recommend a prenup that protects your assets, protects you from his debts, his spending and protects your future income. Guys these days frequently quit their jobs after they get married (in fairness to any guys reading this, yes some nasty women do this too but I wanted to point out that it is commonly becoming a nightmare scenario for women too). Then their wives, even if they weren't planning on it, end up being forced to work because SOMEBODY has to. Then the guys claim for spousal and child support (if kids are present). They don't even have to be a stay at home Dad or do any of the 'wifely' duties that stay at home wives do.

Marriage is not all it's cracked up to be. Be very, very careful, particularly because of your tendency to let guys walk all over you.

I really wish my parents actually told me about things, instead of bringing me up sheltered and naive. They think you have to be married just to leave home. Yet my parents never say how you actually get to that point. Only religious people will wait until marriage these days. Mostt people won't.

How do you know if someone's being genuine or not? It isn't easy to tell at all.

I suggest you take a look at the 'Red Flags' thread, here it is:

http://forums.psychcentral.com/showthread.php?t=228724

I feel depressed

You really can't tell if someone is being genuine...especially someone you meet online thru a singles' site. I'm much older than you, but I've been there, done that, more than once, till I finally stopped trying. In my experience, men can appear to be anything and everything online. I lost SO much...my self-respect, my ability to trust, my pride, money...on and on.

I had been in a 20 year unhappy marriage, and finally free, thought I'd meet "mr. right." NOT! I don't mean to sound so negative, because I know there are people out there who have met the right one, their
"soul mate", but I feel this is rare.

Is there any other way for you to meet the opposite sex? Perhaps thru
social groups, college classes, etc.? I feel, from personal experience, that meeting men online is like throwing a hook into the ocean and pulling out who knows what kind of monster.

I truly feel you would be much better off finding happiness within yourself.
Even if this means being alone for a time.

PM me if you wish.
Patty

No not really that's why I did it in the first place. It worked for my friend and my therapist encouraged me too.