[SeptemberMorn]

Jerry is leaving for good on Friday. Guess I'm needing to see an attorney to re-instate the legal separation, namely for him to buy insurance for me. SSDI has notified me that they will be taking $225 for Medi-cal. I get $826 now. I can't afford for them to take that money.

I will be asking for the money from Jerry to finish what he started here but never finished.

The rest, I know I can depend on my friends for, such as rides to the grocery store and the doctor.

All I need now is for someone to tell me that I can do this; that I can get through until Friday, or when he will be really ready to go. He's got a boat, a motorcycle and an RV to find storage for plus clean all his things out. I don't want one single thing of his left here. He will NOT be coming back and we will NOT be so-called friends.

I have to find a way to tell David simply because I want his moral support. Don't know that he will put any pressure on Jerry to do what he needs to do to leave me set. David can DO it, but he hates "drama." I will NOT involve John in this. He will take Jerry's side of things anyway.

Ok! Now tell me you KNOW I can do this. I've done it before, right? Tell me I can do it! ...and mean it?

What touched this off? I asked him to go to the store for me to buy cigarettes and munchies.

(please let me numb out until he's gone. please don't let my abandonment issues get the best of me! PLEASE don't let me cry!!)

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

YOU CAN... do it and will end up better off for it..there will be an adjustment period but you MAY? get more assistance being now you can say its JUST you there and no other income and all ...I think you will find peace of mind once you adjust HUGE HUGS

[SeptemberMorn]

Thank you! I won't get any more money but I'll be eligible for more help, as in physical.

It will SURELY be more peaceful around here!

Right now, I don't know whether to take a Klonopin or one of my blood preasure meds. My heart is pounding out of my chest!

I need my dog NOW!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

More help will do and even agencies and churches will help you more...He is a dickhead so you will have peace of mind...once it all settles down....On the meds if you mean Atenetol....and are allowed to take extra I would but if you took your dose for the day take the K

Plus the dog will be happier with his sorry miserable *** outta there

[SeptemberMorn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the dog will be happier

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That's a given!! %#@&#! was telling me the other day how I had to make the dog respect me AT ALL TIMES! Like no jumping on me and no rough housing?? I think that's MY decision to make! He actually made me afraid of what he might do to the dog!! Like most cowards, he takes his crap out on anything weaker than himself! Not MY dog!!!

[SleepsWithButterFlies]

Thats my fear too Sept he seems way mean and I dont like people who pick on the weak....I would LOVE to see him try to kick my dog...my dog would take his leg off no kidding he can be a mean dog .....

[SeptemberMorn]

It's not happening to any of my animals! He'll have to go through me first! Mark my word! He'd find himself in a cell real quick!!

Just to ease your mind... and everyone else's; he's never gotten physical with me. He's tried kicking other animals that I've had. The worst he's done to my cat is chase him and call him stupid. He's never touched him and he NEVER will! He's really a coward and he knows what will happen if he tries anything!

[LMo]

Sept, I'm so sorry about Jerry. But you're already sounding strong and I do have faith in you that you'll pull it together. You're a survivor.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
the dog will be happier

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

That's a given!! %#@&#! was telling me the other day how I had to make the dog respect me AT ALL TIMES! Like no jumping on me and no rough housing?? I think that's MY decision to make! He actually made me afraid of what he might do to the dog!! Like most cowards, he takes his crap out on anything weaker than himself! Not MY dog!!!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Well I never!!

Really, dogs PLAY, its what they do, sometimes they get excited, this is part of why we love the little buggers.

I mean, what is a dog, if he cant let loose once in a blue moon :P I mean, I can see if the dog is misbehaving ALL the time. Everyone needs a break once in a while from behaving to just be silly. Everyone and every, er, thing i guess?

You can do this.

[Sabrina]

Sending strong thoughts to you SeptemberMorn.

I also think that you can do it!

You have all my love, support and mostly understanding.

(((((((((Tomi)))))))))))

[EJ711]

September Morn -

Any chance you might even feel relieved?

Hugs,

EJ

tomi......i didn't know it had come down to this....i'm really sorry....this may be the best thing for both of you but it doesn't make it any easier.......if this is going to bring some peace to your life then i hope it works out......tomi......you KNOW that you can do this....if there is ANYTHING i can do for you or help you with...that soft place is still here for you my dear friend....

[SeptemberMorn]

LMo, thank you! Yes, right now, my resolve is strong. I've had enough. Doesn't mean that I won't encounter moments of weakness, dread, fear and feelings of abandonement, but this is going to be a good thing.

[SeptemberMorn]

Ah, well. Sometimes he goes off on tangents when he's feeling powerless or anything else that isn't comfortable for him. He has abused some of my animals, but his time in my life is over.

[SeptemberMorn]

Thank you, Sabrina. Right now, I believe you.

[SeptemberMorn]

Thank you, Time0. I know you understand.

I will have an empty bedroom shortly! My friend told me she'd help me fix it up.

[SeptemberMorn]

There's a very good chance that I feel relieved, EJ! It's just getting him out of here that's going to be difficult to get through emotionally.

He's already on the phone to our youngest. I can't hear everything he's saying but I know what he's doing.

[SeptemberMorn]

Julia, I'm wishing so hard that you didn't live so far away. I would like nothing better than to have you withing arm's reach. To tell you the truth, I've never had a soft place to land. Don't know what to do with it.

I don't want to cry because if I start, I won't stop until he's gone. It's not that he won't be around anymore. It's like "alone again, naturally." Guess it's the old abandonment issue. He's already starting to work further on John about me being the bad guy.

[lenjan]

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{Tomi}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}



Candy

[SeptemberMorn]

Thanks, Candy. Why is it that we both have to be in a tough situation at the same time??

I'm still here for you, anyway, ok?

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))))))))))))

[SeptemberMorn]

{{{{{{{{{Fuzzy}}}}}}}}}}

Thanks, Sweety.

[wi_fighter]

You can do this.

(((((((((((((Tomi)))))))))

Keep going! You can and you will do it! Have faith in yourself and please know, that we certainly believe in you!



The sun will shine stronger and push away the clouds...