loner in college= loner for life?

I will be a junior in college this fall with no friends. My sister has told me how much it would suck to graduate college with no friends, because its difficult making friends outside of school (college) As a person with anxiety and depression I have a hard time talking with people. So I feel like there's an invisible clock ticking and if I don't round up a flock soon I'll be alone forever. I hear people all the time saying how their best friends were made in college and my heart just sinks. Btw I don't have any friends from high school because I was SEVERELY depressed then. So when I say I have no friends, I mean I have NO friends. Anyway what I want to know is, if this is true? How many of you made friends after college? And if so was it harder for you to do than when in college?

I made more friends at work than at college. I transferred schools halfway through though and by then, everyone already had their cliques. I also found that I bonded better with the people at work because I was more like them. I'm more of the blue-collar type, and always had to "try to fit in" when it came to the white-collar academia world.

(((Siempre nada)))

I disagree with your sister's perspective. You are different people, with different outlooks on life and different interests. That's okay!

I did make a couple of friends in college, but I was older when I went to college. I was married ~ and I didn't put any effort (or pressure on myself) into making friends. As I've gotten older, my perspective on friendships has changed quite a bit. It's pretty normal for friendships to come and go as we change throughout life. Different experiences connect us to those who can relate to what we're going through.

That's my perspective... try not to feel hopeless for the future. I hope that you're seeing a T, to help you work through your depression. Are you sure that you're majoring in the right area for you? One that actually captures your interest and devotion? That helps with depression too ~ if we're involved in some thing or things cognitively and emotionally. Best wishes!!

People at university are often idiots. I found it impossible to make friends even though I'm quite a social person, because I don't like drinking a lot and making an arse of myself; I'm also not much of a joiner. I've made lots of friends outside/after university, however. Lots came through work, some came from doing activities I like -- such as in my running club or when going out swing dancing.

Have you tried the internet to look for friends? OKCupid comes to mind, I've made quite a few friends off there, and there's so much less stress. I know it's a dating website, but lots of people make friends off places like that too.

It won't mean you will be forever alone, and it won't mean you will end up with a flock of friends. What is your perception of a friend? An acquaintance? When you see the same person again and again there's an opportunity. You will approach some people, some will approach you. Don't make an assumption of being a loner for life, it's actual work, dedication, and compassion to have a friend. There is no clock ticking, friends come and go no matter what age.

However this whole thing can get different if you have anxiety or depression, sometimes it's out of your control, college counselor are available because they know how college can be stressful and overwhelming to students especially if they live away from home

I had no considered real life friends in my first year of college, just a roommate I would sometimes join to eat with a few other people too. Then I moved across state so there was no way we would hang out togehter. I am still in college and some of us do hang out as friends and classmates

no this doesn't have to be true OP. you can do volunteer work, join clubs, go to meetup groups in your city too.

thanks everyone for your answers! It's just that I've been alone so long that I forget that things do change and nothing is set in stone.

@chipperdear
I hope I find myself in the same situation and make friends at work. Your story gives me hope!

@shezbut
I am seeing a T, and its great. But they change every year at my uni because they're PHD students and not certified. My definition of friend is someone I can confide in, hang out with often and (literally) lay my head on their shoulder. I've never had that and I want it dearly. And yes I'm quite satisfied with my major Its one aspect of college I actually like.
@fishsandwich
I agree. My roommate and I didn't get along for this reason. She liked to drink and smoke and party and I just couldn't have that. And I would try to find friends onlune but I find that internet realtionships are no substitute for the real thing.
@ jan1212
I find that the anxiety and depression really messes with my self esteem which makes it harder to not only make but keep friends. Your advice is solid, when I go back to school next semester I'll try to get close to the people in my classes and see where it goes from there.
@ Laika18
I'll start volunteering in a hospital this fall. I'm so excited to work in a hospital and make potential friends.

Your story is almost identical to what I've been going through. I transferred schools after my freshmen year and, although my new school is a MUCH better fit for me, I can't help but feel like I showed up to the party late. By that I mean that everyone already seems to have found their close friends. I don't drink or smoke and that definitely sets me apart from many of my peers. My best advice for you is to stay positive and reach out to the people you meet in class. My dad always tells me that people who do well in college don't necessarily go on to do well in life, and college is typically only four short years of a very long lifetime so it's more important to be able to succeed when you get out of school. Contrary to what most people think, college isn't the best time of every college student's life. I'm sorry I couldn't be more of a help to you but hang in there!

I was a loner in college and am a loner in life, but I may be a statistical anomaly. There was a time when I had friends at work though, so there are avenues for getting friends after college.

Have you looked up all the clubs that are provided at the school?

For example, my school is huge (39k students) and there are over 500 student run clubs. There are also various organizations that deal with ethnic groups. There are also clubs within the department where you can meet people and not everyone drinks. There are also religious groups you can become affiliated with. Even if you're not religious and just curious they should accept you. You'll most likely find people who abstain from drinking/smoking there.

I didn't drink frequently until the last year of college. I was 22 (still am) and it's usually like a beer with a friend when we're going out to dinner or something. There are plenty of people who will NOT pressure you to drink or smoke. None of my friends have been mad at me because I refused to drink.

I found that getting involved in something at the campus is a great way to network.