It seems like no one really gives a crap about me

I am pretty sure people dont hate me because I never gave them a reason too. But people are really neutral to me. I always have to initiate to hang-out and stuff - they rarely asks me to do something. From an outsider's perspective it may look like i got a lot of friends but thats because I tend to keep myself busy with activities that involves people.

Things i noticed about myself is my poor self-esteem. I always feel inferior to people which leads to a bit of social anxiety even though I am very outgoing. I am a good listener, but a bad converser because I just agree with everything they say even when I don't. I am always afraid of losing friends - so when I am with new people the thought of 'don't piss them off' is always at the back of head. I also cycle through friends or groups of friends - things either ended badly or just end.

Just now one of my friends said I am a bit fake - like I just adapt to everyone around instead of being who I am.

Should I be more assertive and stop adapting to the people around me?(obviously staying tactful)
What confuses me is being fake... I do see qualities of me being fake, but I still dont understand it fully. Can you describe to me how a fake person is? Thanks!
(i'm usually a pretty happy guy, but sometimes i get these major downers that destroys me)

I don't think it makes you fake just because you don't lay it all out there for other people to stomp all over. That's a judgement on your motives which no one else can possibly know for sure. I think cautious might be a good word for it. That's a good quality. It's alright for you to be who you are. How are you being fake when you are just being you?

Well good thing man, i mean that you're out doing activities. I wouldn't worry to much, that's the point of it all, to hang out. I have to initiate a lot of my social interactions, and I think people expect me to get in touch with them because that's what I've always done. It would be nice to be the one getting phone calls, but it's not a big deal really.

Real friends don't just ditch you at the drop of a hat. Whatever you're thinking you need to be, it doesn't matter... what matters is that you're out socializing. You want to be liked more... i've found that people really like good listeners. listen well then, and do the best you can. honestly anytime you're thinking about well i'm inferior or something just remember that you're doing the best you can.

don't believe this ****. get on with your life. move on don't dwell on that.

Why not ASK your friend what he means when he says you're acting "kinda fake?" Ask him HOW you're being fake! I don't think that by being a bit quiet is being fake! Like Brackenbeard said, being a good listener is a GOOD quality -- there's nothing fake about that!

There aren't many good listeners out there anymore, from what I've found. Seems like people are always talking OVER each other these days. No one wants to really listen to each other anymore. Geez that's maddening. LOL

Why do you feel inferior to people? You certainly are NOT. You are JUST as good as anyone you're with! ANYONE!!! NO one is any better than you! And don't worry about P@##@# anyone off -- sometimes that can be fun. LOL It can sure make for a stimulating conversation! I used to disagree on purpose just to get a rise out of someone. LOL That's a little mean, I know --- but I'd usually do it with someone I didn't particularly like. (mean, I know but I'm Irish LOL )

And again like Brackenbeard said - REAL friends won't ditch you at the drop of a hat. If they do, they're not friends and you don't need those kinds of people. I too am glad you're getting out. That's great. In doing so, you're more likely to meet NEW friends which is good!

And don't be afraid to get in touch with people to make the arrangements to get together. If they can't, so what? Don't take it personally. Sometimes people are just busy -- call again another time, or wait for them to call you. But DO try to make the first call sometimes. It's good practice. Best of luck and keep us posted, ok? You're a great guy, and we'd all like to know what happens. Hugs, Lee

You're not alone in experiencing this if that is any consolation. It's kinda a "nice guy" syndrome thing. You give your time and attention and energies to show people you care about them and you want them to be happy and then it doesn't come back to you. You would think people would naturally reciprocate but unfortunately that's not how it works most of the time.

What I have found is that people can be confused if they aren't certain who you are and what you stand for, what you want for yourself. If you give to others but never make it clear what you want for yourself in return then they'll just take and assume you're happy with the way things are. In a relationship it's ok to express what you need too. You said you struggle with low self-esteem so sometimes being more assertive can be difficult. I am not saying you have to be pushy or insistent, simply communicate is all. If you wonder why you always have to put things together then ask your friends if they don't mind doing it sometime. If they are real friends they aren't going to mind carrying some of that burden. Maybe they have just figured that's your thing and you like to do all the planning so they are letting you do that. If that's the case then you need to correct them by letting them know.

Take some time and define yourself for yourself. Decide what YOU want out of relationships. Realize that you are just as deserving as anyone else to be happy and the people who are your friends play a role in that. Communicate and make it clear to them how you feel and what you need. Again, if they are good friends, they aren't going to mind and they might even be pleasantly surprised. I have had to make changes like these myself and it has really helped.

Woah, all of that sounds exactly like what I'm going through. I've always been the supporter, in the background, but still outgoing and ball-sy at times. No one really hates me but no one exactly is calling to see if I'm available to hang out. Once I realized it's because I'm always changing for everyone else I started trying to be me then realized I have zero identity. I can't even dedicate to one look. My closet is like a mish mash of punk, alternative, preppy and athletic. I'm trying to stick with athletic because working out makes me feel less effed in the head. But blah, blah, I hope you find your you. I started using pinterist because it helps me actually make small decisions on what I like.

This has always been me. I wondered why I have always been the initiator of relationships but have realized it is because I give people the impression that I am busy and don't have time for lots of friendships. That way I protect myself and am not disappointed when they don't call and it keeps me in controls of the relationship and keeps me from being vulnerable. This stinks be because i struggle with being accepted and worthy.