[lilaclabrador]

I'm 27 years old and I need some advice. I am female and live alone. I don't have support from my family. My best friend is very sweet, but she's much younger than me so it's hard for her to understand some of the things I go through. She's my best friend though and I'd be lost without her. But I feel alone in the things I'm facing in my life.

I struggle financially to make ends meet. I'm still trying to put myself through college.

My boyfriend lives in another state. We barely see one another. We talk online or on the phone. He is sort of emotionally unstable and he's also a few years younger than me. He still lives with his parents and he doesn't know what it's like to be responsible for bills and having to do everything on your own with no support at all. My parents (who are very uninvolved in my life) want to know more about my"boyfriend" but I don't even want to discuss it. I want to break up with him, but I fear that I will never find anyone again because I have avoidant personality disorder. I can spend days and weeks alone and never really see another person. I am afraid of doing anything socially -- especially with strangers. I live in an area where I don't know many people -- well, really anyone.. and the idea of going out and meeting new people totally turns me off. I guess I've had a lot of bad experiences in the past.

My boyfriend says he loves me, but I feel like there is no way I could have a life with him. His lack of personal responsibility in his life and total lack of having to do things on his own makes it hard for him to relate to me. He has promised me things and breaks all his promises. I feel like I need to break up with him, but it's difficult. I feel so confused. It seems that none of my relationships work out. The one I was really in love with broke my heart. This guy says he loves me, but I just can't imagine spending my life with someone who breaks their promises and has such a lack of responsibility. He's immature when it comes to living on his own (he never has and would be incapable of doing it).

I feel so lost and so alone. I don't know what to do anymore.

[krosis]

I feel somewhat unqualified to give advice on this. I've never had a boyfriend. But you shouldn't stay with someone just because you're afraid of being alone. I'm also a big loner and I haven't had any friends in about 6 months, but I'm doing okay. It's unpleasant sometimes, but you learn a lot about yourself, which is something that everyone needs to do at some point. And if you ever feel really alone, you can always talk to me or anyone on here.

[layla11]

Hi, I think you would be better off if you broke it off. It sounds like you feel really alone with him in your life. Its just fear of the unknown and I know how it feels. But he is bringing you down. I agree with the previous poster said time alone is a good thing. I really love my time alone, it helps me get centered, otherwise I feel anxious, and unhappy. And I have to let go of the people who arent good for me.

If you want to break it off and the only reason you're staying is from fear of ever finding someone else, truth is, you need to break up. It's just not at all a good reason to stay with anyone. I know it can be scary, I'm facing being alone right now, separated, and going to be divorced from my wife. I suffer from social phobia which is a different reason for my lack of friends but, has the same results. I too have no friends and I know exactly how you feel. I know I'm not offering much advice here but thought I'd say I'm with you on how you feel and to offer *hugs*

I'm sorry you're going through this and having a hard time.

~S4

[hamster-bamster]

I think you should terminate the relationship and perhaps enter therapy for the avoidant personality disorder if such therapy exists. The bf you currently have is completely random; why end up with a random person?? I am sure you can do better with some skills training.