[Ft1980]

I am not very smart and cannot hold onto a word anyone says plus I usually push people aside for my own perspective. I do not know how to be smart or think I have any chance against the youth of today so does that mean I should seek power instead? I feel intimidated whenever I leave the house to get something and dealing with people shows me I need an edge that doesn't come. I feel like I should grab hold of life, but I need to know which fork in the road to take.

[shezbut]

Well, FT1980,

Your Q seems rather vague to me. Maybe I'm just not really understanding what you're trying to get to....

I would advise you to seek knowledge. Without knowledge, there's no such thing as power. It's merely a fantasy. What you choose to have knowledge in has a considerable impact, of course. Some people are experts in things that aren't real necessities in this day and age. So, choosing the right knowledge for you is for you to decide.

Hope that helps you!

[runswithscissors42]

I will suggest you are smart enough to be here and smart enough, even wise enough, to face fears with the rest of us.

That said, knowledge IS power.

Power alone is riddled with vulnerabilities and requires dependence upon other people which prevents us from being as self-sufficient as we might otherwise be.

Knowledge allows us to learn how to learn and figure out how to get what we need, and utilize those who can manipulate power.

Example: I can read all day, but have zero math skills plus learning disabilities and a hearing problem. When doctors left me high and dry after losing insurance and a good job because I was extremely ill with cancer, exercising power alone was not an option. I learned about what was wrong with me, what doctors do for themselves given the same diagnosis (and was shocked!) and studied every other type of medicine I could find, but most important I learned how to "manage up" in order to get doctors to do tests they considered unnecessary. That first round of doctors said I had 8-10 years which means I should be six feet under now. I don't know chemistry and have absolutely no medical training. But I figured doctors learned a lot of what they know by reading and asking questions and networking with people who knew what they didn't. I could do that much. So I did. Tested negative three years running now :.) I win. Therein lies a power that could not exist without knowledge to pursue it.

It helps to be really stubborn.

[Ft1980]

Thanks for the input and I hope I have not stressed anyone over my question. I have already seeked knowledge tho. this is what happen. I found someone who wants to help me, but they drive my family awayfrom eachother and me. I ended up doing it alone and for a while it was good. Until I got ill and needed medical attention. After that my life was plagued and a misery and cutoff from any benficial gain because I feel like I got used by the system. When I completed my search for knowledge thos after a year of day and night repetitive activities I finally reached and surpassed my goal even from getting ill. And now 2 years later it is getting me nowhere because people are still driven away from me. I have never felt so healthy and well driven than now and noone cares. I will try and post this if they let in the forums because they did not two other threads like this one. If I seek power I "can" handle life "on my own" without a god or wisdom or guiding light. I can reach my goals by myself without needing support or someone to talk to it's just that I need to klnow within me if it's really worth the effort and I'm not going to get buried by someone who wants a front place ahead of me for their own good and by disbenefit. I feel like if someone smiles in heaven then someone who is suffering frowns and I have frowned for long enough. thankyou.

[Ft1980]

Originally Posted by shezbut

Well, FT1980,

Your Q seems rather vague to me. Maybe I'm just not really understanding what you're trying to get to....

I would advise you to seek knowledge. Without knowledge, there's no such thing as power. It's merely a fantasy. What you choose to have knowledge in has a considerable impact, of course. Some people are experts in things that aren't real necessities in this day and age. So, choosing the right knowledge for you is for you to decide.

Hope that helps you!

I love knowledge as anyone has all my life. I frequently seek answers from google or wikipedias on nearly everything out there. I even go to print my own copies to have on hand and read like stories. for example biology and physics really facinate me. I have trained my self to be a proficient at producing information about everything for a while now and I'm still in the dark about my life as I've cut off communicating with people to stay and live alone and do what I came to this world to do. which was being an artist at the time. I just bought a new guitar and am working on drum tracks atm. so I have art music and a computer to put it together. I suppose my stuff will only,ever see utube and that's good enough for me. I'm just stuck ina rutt right now and it's hard to see what's coming whenever there are a lot of distractions. I need to keep going for my own sake and my families sake because honestly they will be the only ones i WILL talk about this stuff with and you guys of course. I love thew internet it is like a world where if you are patient enough all your answers will come to you and your world becomes a special place where everything comes together and you are in control.