have you ever confided in someone that you thought was a very, very close friend and by confiding, you told them something that you had told few others?

i did this. i was blown completely off.

half of it was really bad news and the other half was really exciting for me.since the initial confidence i've not heard a word concerning what i told my friend.

i've certainly heard this person's news and about their daily life.and i've responded and listened and responded. nothing, nada, zip...from the "friend" about my life.

i'm at the point of completely and totally writing this person off. i've gone above and beyond on my end and i'm not getting even a "i'm so sorry and i'm so excited"......

am i being selfish to want more from someone that i thought was a close friend? unreasonable? irrational? i've reviewed the past several months and this friend has always talked about their life. period. xoxox pat

[allthegirls6]

pat,

its supposed to be a two way street but if the traffic is all one way then its no fun. I had something similar happen to me. I once told someone that I had other people inside me, and guess what........... this friend never asked me about it ever again? I was confused and hurt.

ATG

[radio_flyer]

................In my opinion, in a healthy relationship/friendship there has to be a balance of take and give. Unfortunately there are some people that are only givers and some that are only takers .

I have confided in a person I thought was a friend.. Somewhere down the line she got mad at me and used all the info I told her against me. So I am very careful who I confide in and what personal info I will share with others. A sad lesson we all learn...............

No, your not selfish for wanting a response from your friend.. it is "natural" to want our friends to share in our good times or bad times. And for them to either encourage us or to celebrate with us.. A silent no respsone is rude and thoughtless.

[Lexicon78]

I don't think you're irrational or selfish for expecting a two-way street!

I'd expect the same thing! Although I run into the same thing with my bf, I get that kind of reactiong for a different reason. I think that any normal person would inquire about what you had confided in them, especially if it was something important to you.

thanks, friends.

what i told this friend is very, very important to me. they were the first person that i told about my circumstances. the reply that i got, next, was about their day.

obviously, it is a one way street and has been that way for a very long time when it comes to emotional support.

[bebop]

I know exactly how you feel. I even have some family like that! I hate it. friendships are suppose to be about Sharing!

[Sabrina]

I recently broke out of a friendship like that and although it hurt me and I still miss my friend, I know I did the right thing.

Good luck Pat.

[Fuzzybear]

I know how you feel too, I totally "suck" at dealing with that sort of pain My thoughts are with you xoxo Fuzzy

[nothemama8]

is the person having trouble in their own life , if not ask them straight out, are you here collecting for yourself or to be a friend
Angie

angie, i'm depleted. i am not even capable of offering much support here. repairing something that i didn't cause isn't on my list right now. i could stick my finger in the hole in the dam but i don't think it would hold very long. i can't make someone else feel good because they didn't respond to my need for support and share in my good news.

i'm appreciative of your advice and support..you know that. my immune system is shot right now and i have to pack and move. that doesn't leave much time or energy to help someone else feel better in this situation.

a doctor started me, today, on a designer protein...the Navy Seals use it. he's had really good results with it..so i'm trying it. it is terribly expensive..so i hope it works.

i hope that i can get back to speed and support more here. until i can do that, i'll just have to come and go.

thanks to everyone who supports me. i need you all right now, pat

[(JD)]

:sitting with you at the crossroads.

[razeljenny]

I am starting to keep things to myself. Stufff that could arise jelousy from my friend. I have experienced coolness sometimes when I was excited about a new opportunity that has opened up for me and they responded poorly. I am beginning to sit with myself for a bit first. I am getting to make a friend in myself and I give her a name. She is my trusted friend. I can tell her my stuff and be safe. When I tell my best friend and my mom about something really great, they give me a poor reaction and now I have just begun to learn not to share great wonderful exciting events too quickly unless I feel it providence. I have bi-polor and I must protect myself from ego deflation. I love my cool ideas and even made some succeed but the people around me weren't supportive. I am doing better when I journal the ideas. Also I do have one friend that lets me share and cares back but not many like that are out there, even husbands and closest friends really can't be depended on and that is the truth. I am getting stronger because the friend of myself.

Pat - what's the name of this protein product? Thanks.

emmy

i've also noticed that i tend to think more now..before i disclose. i kept the tests secret, as i did the engagement. i've decided that when i feel trust, then i'll disclose. until i feel it, i'm keeping it to myself. i am not comfortable with that attitude but i am comfortable with protecting myself.

many of you will remember my friend, Dale, who hurt me at Christmas time. i told you that i was wary of having him in my life again and i was right. and i seriously do believe that it is a problem that perhaps stems from his family life. his parents died the same year and there are other sad things going on now. however.............that being said........... this time, enough of you have pointed out some very good things that i wasn't seeing and i probably won't be in contact with him after i leave Oklahoma. i will miss him a lot. i just don't think that friendship can be a one way street. i needed the support when i disclosed my illness..especially that one. and if he couldn't handle that....couldn't he have been happy over Bill? hmmmmmmmmmmmm thanks to each and everyone of you that responded. i've spent a lot of time re-reading the posts and soaked up a lot of love and support. xoxoxo pat

Hi Fay,
That hurts. I've been in that position before and it really hurts. I'm sorry for you about that.
Nothing like opening up to someone and being met with a cold shoulder.

I'm really glad to hear you're engaged though, Congratulations! At least you have him to talk to.
Hugs!

thanks, jax......one part of me wants to try to help him and the other part says, run, pat, run. as i said, i will really miss him and as i look back, i was always the proactive one and the supportive one. and it has been that way in other recent friendships. i've learned a very good lesson this time. and i think it is a positive lesson. more time for Pat!!!

i'm going to be very, very careful about letting anyone get close to me. friendship is a two way street. when i see that the road has two lanes, i'll go for it.......love, pat

I do understand.

thank you, dear one. your support means so much to me. love, pat

[PsychStudent74]

In life you have givers and takers and we as givers are just as wrong to keep giving as they are for taking. I don't know you cause I am new here but sounds like to me you set a wonderful boundery in your life to not be taken advantage of. That is a hard thing to do! Keep up the good work. That stand you made can be a inspiration to us all that don't know how to say "NO"!