Need advise / help

So where do I start?
I have been married 20 years.
My wife has always had some issues but in the past 1.5 to 2 years it has become extreme.
Things have become extremely violent. The house wrecked several times. A knife thrown into my forehead. Deep scratches on my face and neck. One night My 2 kids have seen her wreck the house. She kept them awake half the night with her screaming and wrecking stuff.
She also takes every chance to talk down about me to them.
Just recently.. we were invited to go on a cruise with some other people. We discussed it and decided we could not go because we didn’t have the money plus Christmas is 2 months away. We had already been on 3 other weekend trips this year, not to mention we haven’t taken the kids on a trip all year.
So some how she convinced our friends to buy a ticket for her ($400) and she took money and went on the cruise.
She owns her own business but it hasn’t made any money in over 2 years.
She constantly blames me for everything. That I try to hurt her feelings. No matter what its my fault.
She constantly posts on facebook that I treat her so bad. I plead with her to stop and 2 counselors asked her to stop but it continues almost everyday.
One counselor told her not to come back because she wouldn’t let her help her.
My oldest said he doesn’t want to live here anymore because all she does is yell at him and call her names.
She punishes my youngest sometimes by taking away his glasses.
She has been making up lies constantly.
She is taking Prozac and klonopin. Which doesn’t seem to be helping.
I don’t know what else to do anymore but leaving her.
Any suggestions would be great.

(((zero18)))

The situation doesn't sound good at all. Have you tried getting into marital counseling with her?

You can't continue to allow her to lash out at you and the children. You need to protect your children emotionally & physically. If your wife is unwilling to work upon herself or family relationships, then you're going to have to step up and tell her that this is the end of the marriage. I'd hate for it to reach that end for your family ~ hopefully, she'll be willing to put some effort into becoming a better person once you stand up strong about your decision.

Very best wishes to you & your family!

I think Shez is right. Thing is, your kids and your safety is #1, kids especially because they can't get out of there without your help and you are responsible for that. If not for you at all, you need to get your kids out of there. If she's violent enough to injure you with a knife, at what point might she get violent enough to hurt one of the kids, whether accidentally or intentionally? I speak for the kids first and say PLEASE get them out of that situation.

She is clearly not willing to get help or change. Fact is, the red flag is that a counselor actually told her not to come back! When a counselor says that to a client, it speaks volumes about the person that is supposedly trying to get help.

At the very least, if you leave it might put a fire under her butt to get help for real. Doesn't have to be divorce, although if she doesn't want help/doesn't think there is anything she is doing wrong, you should. IMO, you should have full custody of the children and take them out of that mess.

Another thing that speaks to the severity of the problem. Kids, in normal situations, don't easily want to be away from their mom. They cling to the mom and so your child wanting to get away is saying a heck of a lot about the situation.

Do what you have to, get to a friend's, file a restraining order and legal separation.

Again, if not for you, for the kids.

Please post updates.

The kids safety is #1, but I'm wondering if the medication your wife is taking is adequate!! I'm wondering if she needs something else or should be seeing a therapist. This medication might not be what she needs at ALL. She doesn't sound depressed AT ALL and that is what Prozac is for!! Was she depressed BEFORE she went on Prozac??? If she was, it's certainly having an adverse affect on her.

Talk to her doctor and tell him/her what's going on! Something isn't right. Prozac does NOT sound like the right medication for her. Someone dropped the ball with this woman. She's acting like a crazy person. Is this how she acted BEFORE the medication? It's important to know that. It COULD be the medications' fault. Did she act like this BEFORE medication?

After digging alot.. i found out that she had a violent episode with her dad when she was much younger (before we met). the story i got is that she took a knife to hurt herself then her dad interviened and he got stabbed in the hand.
when she was 17, she lived with a boyfriend which also became violent at times.
during the time we have been together, nothing violent like this happened until about a year and a half to 2 years ago.
She self diagnosis herself.. thinks that its me thats making her this way.
never her fault.

I second what Leed said about medication and what Shez said regarding your kids and your safety.

Certain mental disorders can be aggravated by antidepressants. They can be helpful but are also not drugs to be taken lightly. And yes, your kids do not need to be around a mother like this. I almost think a temporary separation -- until these things are worked out -- may be a good step. Your children should understand at least your choice to keep them from her for awhile.

Why on earth did the doctor put her on PROZAC?? She isn't depressed! He really messed up when he did that. It sounds to me like he put her on that just for something to do!

She needs more help than that doctor can give her. She needs to see a therapist! If shes not seeing one now, get her to one. If she IS seeing one, then get her OFF THE PROZAC!!! That isn't an appropriate medication for her right now!!!

Talk to her doctor about this. This medication might be part of the problem, although I doubt it. She needs something ELSE. God bless & take care. Hugs, Lee

I agree with others, your children's well being is what is most important, I would advise taking them out of that situation asap if you are able to. I cant imagine how horrible that must be for a child to see a parent trashing their home. That is their home, which is suppose to be a place of safety-not this. Is there any medical programs in your hospitals by where you live with any programs to assist? You need assistance, you cant live like this, for yourself and your children. I would have her into a program as soon as possible, if you are able to.

It's possible she interpreted her negative feelings into thinking she's depressed and then told the doctor that? I've visited campus care for refills, got a new person everytime, and essentially all I had to say was "I need this antidepressant, been depressed. Thanks." Prescription acquired. (this is before I realized that I can call in for a prescription)

considering 2 things, the fact that she's blaming you for how she acts and is, and two, she's got a history of acting this way, even in the best case, where she gets help, you need to get out of the situation before anyone gets hurt. Had the situation with her father happen with one of the kids and they got in the way, she'd get her kids taken away, even worse, if that happened they might keep them from you for a time for safety's sake. She's not facing the fact that she is responsible for her actions and that it's something in her that she's had a long time, but making it seem like it's you instead.

Thank you everyone for your advise. I think im going to try and get her more help and prob look to move out for some time.

I spoke to an attorney who told me full custody might be difficult cause I didnt call the police on her

I am a psychiatic nurse. I have seen this before. The best thing you can do is look out for those kids. I would talk to a local psychiatrist. For yourself at this time not her. Next I would talk to someone about possibly doing and intervention and seeking treatment for your wife. Safety for your children first. I am so sorry for your situation. God Bless!

after another episode of anger and not being able to control herself last night, (raging, screaming, trying to antagonizing me phyically) I told her I am leaving. Im not sure what to expect next.
I did see an attorney who said full custody will be very difficult considering I didnt call the police on her.
I really dont want the kids to be without there mom. I am praying this forces her to look at the situation and try to help herself and be a better parent.
Im definatly at my wits end