Brain telling you the wrong things

I hate this! My brain is hurting me! I love people! My intelligence tells me one thing... but another part of my brain is shouting out a completely different message.
It sucks!
Deep down I know if a person really do love me and care about me... but nooooooooooo.... that can't be says my OCD-brain!
It tells me how useless I am... that no one can ever really love me... It says to me with a harsh "voice": They are only fooling you, can't you see that?!!!!!! They all think that you're boring... weird... they are laughing behind your back... Can't you see, YOU'RE NOTHING!
After a conversation with a friend.... I start to think.... hmmm... now she/he sits there on the other end giving up a huge sigh... thinking- finally I got rid of her.
This is only a few of the things my OCD-brain is telling me...
This is destroying me! Makes it really hard in friendships... Yesterday I wrote to a really lovable and sweet friend, wondering if she was fed up with me.... ARGH! I know she's not! But if I ask that question again... she will get fed up with me!
The OCD is sometimes making me dig my own grave.
I've got hurt a lot of times before in life, by friends turning out not to be true friends. I guess I've got burned... that obviously is helping the OCD in its work.
I hate it!!!!
I just needed to get this off my chest.

Thanks for reading! I hope you don't think I'm a total nutcase after reading this! LOL

You rant and rave my friend...it's good to get these things off your chest...Hugs for you...((((((((POETRYLOVER)))))))

Nah, you're not a nutcase. It is difficult to get back in the saddle and learn to trust when one has been hurt/deceived time and again. It takes time to 'rebuild oneself'..

((( Nina )))
Sometimes our brain's just tell us things that aren't true. You are such a good friend, and I am glad to know I can call you friend. Vent all you need to... no one thinks you are a nutcase.

Jenn

{{{{{{{{Nina}}}}}}}}}}}}

A question, sweet friend... Do you recognize the part of your brain that sends out OCD messages? Do those messages make you FEEL bad? If so, maybe this will help. "Feelings are NOT FACTS."

I'm not saying that this is any way an easy thing to do. Most of my life, I've listened to my "Gut Feelings." Those aren't always "fact," either.

You and I have shared so many similar experiences and yes, feelings. Forgive me for saying it, but you seem to think I'm "wonderful." So tell me why you think YOU are such a "nothing"??? We think alike, we feel alike, we've done some of the same things, suffered over some of the same things, we love MANY of the same things... So "it doesn't compute," like my kids used to tell me.

What I'm saying is... because you feel this way about me, recognize the same attributes in YOURSELF! Throw up that "skyhook" and climb up, Girlfriend!! You are NOT a nothing!! You ARE loveable! You ARE artistic! You ARE loving! You ARE someone that matters and counts for alot! Everyone here thinks you are a beautiful person. BELIEVE IT!! It takes work, but remember, it was the turtle that won the race!

Poetrylover,

have you read 10 cognitive distortions bookmarked at the top of the psychotherapy forum? I believe you have black and white thinking, #1 out of ten...it describes exactly what black and white thinking is..also self recrimination that's one too. I read and re-read these until I got a better grip on my thinking. It was bookmarked because it got such a huge response. I posted on there how much it helped me...perhaps you will be the next one to post on that thread.

((((((((((poetrylover)))))))))) nutcase you are not!!! Confuddled as so many of us are so go ahead and rant away. I will read always and know that you have a new friend on this board... take care Linda

Thanks for your caring words, as a respons to my post!

When life has hit you over and over again straight in the face... you get effected by it. I know that I'm thinking in the wrong way. Me thinking that way and also having OCD... isn't a good combination!

My psychologist once gave me the same kind of list you're talking about, Junerain. A list of "wrong- thinking"... I know that several of them is a part of my daily living. When I was in therapy I came a long way fighting these thoughts or as Tomi said; feelings. I was inspired and motivated back then. Now all my power seem to be gone... Dealing with life isn't easy, as you all know. You can handle one set-back... but 1 2 3 4... at the same time... waaaaaaaaaaayyyyy hard!
I know that there are those struggling with even more difficult stuff than me... but I'm walking in my own mud... that's where I live. By me saying that, I really don't mean that I don't care for all you others- handling rough times in life! I so care and think a lot about you, my friends!
Yes, Tomi... you're wonderful... so ok... maybe I'm just a tiny bit wonderful too then... that wasn't easy to write! I've got a lot to learn to get as cool as you though... I'm half your age, so...

I feel a bit foolish now that I've let you know, how my brain works...

Thanks again for reading and thanks for replying!!!

(((((((((((((((((( Lyle Always Jenn Tomi Junerain walkswithspiritbear ))))))))))))))))))))



Me and my clones... doing the wave for you! I think it was a bad job though... different colours... hmmm...!

I have OCD, too. I know how those thoughts can be. I hate it!!! It makes you second-guess everything. The problem isn't really the thoughts, but the feelings. You can think, "Nobody likes me," but it's when you feel Nobody likes me that it hurts. I can dismiss a thought, but a feeling is much harder.

Still, I find keeping a list (or several) of positive quotes that "speak" to me helps. When I'm feeling down, and I look at my collection of quotes, it can help me feel better about myself, and see reality.

Here's a few of my favorites:

Some of the most wonderful people are the ones who don't fit into boxes. - Tori Amos

The best way to predict the future is to create it. - Sophia Bedford-Pierce

Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you'll land among the stars. - Les Brown (Similar quote attributed to Gil Steinke.)

Do just once what others say you can't do, and you will never pay attention to their limitations again. - James R. Cook

No pessimist ever discovered the secrets of stars, or sailed to an uncharted land, or opened a new heaven to the human spirit. - Helen Keller

The life you have led doesn't have to be the only life you have. - Anna Quindlen

Society may predict, but only I will determine my destiny. - Anthony Robbins

Our doubts are traitors, and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt. - William Shakespeare

You are not your past. - Oprah Winfrey

If you are never scared, embarrassed, or hurt, it means you never take chances. - Julia Soul

Post these around your home, or in one room of your home that you frequent. Read them often.

Thank, you! Thank, you! Thank you, Maven!

Good thoughts!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here for you whenever you feel like talking about the OCD.

((((((((((((( Maven ))))))))))))))

Thank you, and likewise! :-)