[cat333]

I have been divorced for many years! I have not dated in many years either. I am 46 and I figure the "best" years are behind me and I have pretty much given up on ever being loved.

Anyway, I see this guy at work and he has been really nice to me. A concept I am not used to...especially because I do believe he is younger than me. He may just look young for his age, but I don't know for sure.

Anyway, we have chatted a few times and if he sees me he will yell out my name and say good-bye to me or whatever. Well, the other day he stopped me in the hall and started chatting. He suddenly asked if I was married. It caught me off guard and I snickered (kind of) and said, "no, I've been divorced a looooong time." He snickered and said, "okay, we won't go there." (He is divorced too...I believe...or had a child out of wedlock...not sure.)

The next time I saw him he didn't stop to chat with me. What happened? I don't get it?

[LadyShadow]

Maybe you didnt do anything wrong. Give it some time. Guys are weird. They do things a whole lot differently than we think they are doing. We read signs, watch for signals, but usually we dont have a clue whats going on, and neither do they!

I would take the initiative and strike up a conversation next time you see him. Guys like that sometimes. But if youre too scared or shy, I understand. But think about it, there is nothing wrong with going after what you want

Good luck and tell us what happens.

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

I would take the initiative and strike up a conversation next time you see him. Guys like that sometimes. But if youre too scared or shy, I understand. But think about it, there is nothing wrong with going after what you want

I think guys like that more often than not! He could be thinking maybe that he did somethign wrong even by asking! Maybe he's waiting for your reaction, you never know! Striking up conversation with him will let him know. I agree with PlatinumHeart.

Good luck, I think it will be fine

[cat333]

Originally Posted by PlatinumHeart

Maybe you didnt do anything wrong. Give it some time. Guys are weird. They do things a whole lot differently than we think they are doing. We read signs, watch for signals, but usually we dont have a clue whats going on, and neither do they!

I would take the initiative and strike up a conversation next time you see him. Guys like that sometimes. But if youre too scared or shy, I understand. But think about it, there is nothing wrong with going after what you want

Good luck and tell us what happens.

Yes, you are right. I didn't do anything wrong and guys are weird. I am just gonna have to force myself not to think about it or to fantasize about it. I have a strong tendency to become obsessed with a guy if he shows any tiny bit of interest in me. I have managed to destroy every relationship that has come my way. After a period of time, after a hard breakup, things quiet down inside me and I ease into a state of complacency. So, because I know this, it is one reason to just walk away and accept whatever comes my way. I have no desire to go after what I want anymore because as history shows...everything ends in disaster. If he is interested, he will have to take the lead and fight for me...but I doubt that will happen. No one had ever even tried to work it out with me. They come, they go...and they don't care what state of mind they leave me in. I just have to accept it...and I am working on it.

[cat333]

Originally Posted by s4ndm4n2006

I think guys like that more often than not! He could be thinking maybe that he did somethign wrong even by asking! Maybe he's waiting for your reaction, you never know! Striking up conversation with him will let him know. I agree with PlatinumHeart.

Good luck, I think it will be fine

I will just go about my business. I will definately be kind to him and talk to him as usual. But, I will not go out of my way to pursue him. I am trying to change my ways by letting the man take the lead. I once was a woman who wanted to be equal to men, but I really miss having a door opened for me, or being around men who have manners and respect for women. I want a man who will treat me right and protect me and take care of me. I raised my kids alone and I did just fine without a man. But I am sick of living that way. I want someone who will love me no matter what and someone that I can shower all my affections on...because I am an extremely passionate person who would spoil a man rotten if he could just understand that I am not trying to control him, but instead just so full of love and passion that needs to be expressed.

[hamster-bamster]

You write about your ability to love so eloquently! I am sure a suitable candidate will come your way.

[cat333]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

You write about your ability to love so eloquently! I am sure a suitable candidate will come your way.

Thank you for your encouragement. I try to love, but it is not perceived as such. I have BPD so my ways of showing love are misread and my emotional responses are dysfunctional. I, like many people, just want someone who will love me and stand by me through it all. I want a real, honest, down-to-earth relationship. I figure by now my chances are pretty slim. I guess one just never knows what the future holds

[hamster-bamster]

I think at 46 you still have ample opportunities.

[cat333]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

I think at 46 you still have ample opportunities.

Thank you, you are sweet

[hamster-bamster]

Well, I myself am 42 in two weeks . But I am hopeful and so far so good.

[cat333]

Originally Posted by hamster-bamster

Well, I myself am 42 in two weeks . But I am hopeful and so far so good.

Happy early birthday! That is good you are still hopeful. I hope you find someone who will treat you like a king!

[Torani]

Originally Posted by cat333

I have been divorced for many years! I have not dated in many years either. I am 46 and I figure the "best" years are behind me and I have pretty much given up on ever being loved.

Anyway, I see this guy at work and he has been really nice to me. A concept I am not used to...especially because I do believe he is younger than me. He may just look young for his age, but I don't know for sure.

Anyway, we have chatted a few times and if he sees me he will yell out my name and say good-bye to me or whatever. Well, the other day he stopped me in the hall and started chatting. He suddenly asked if I was married. It caught me off guard and I snickered (kind of) and said, "no, I've been divorced a looooong time." He snickered and said, "okay, we won't go there." (He is divorced too...I believe...or had a child out of wedlock...not sure.)

The next time I saw him he didn't stop to chat with me. What happened? I don't get it?

Sometimes guys need us girls to be straigtforward. If you like him, maybe tell him or give him a clear signal that you are interested.

I think its sweet...